f Page 3752 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Problem Is, He'd Keep Missing The Ribbon With The Scissors
From famed (and much better at this whole business than we are) New York blogger TMFTML, in response to the news that former quarterback bust Heath Shuler is running for Congress, floats the glorious notion of a Ryan Leaf candidacy....
Sean Salisbury Loves To Teach The Ladies Tricks
In his ESPN chat today, "analyst" Sean Salisbury "announced" the launch of his official Web site. We've been scanning it, and we're sad to say there isn't a single "Battlebots" reference. However: Salisbury does post a bizarre press release thing about some "seminar" on teaching women about footb...
With Enough Weed, What's The Difference?
From the NFL Wives Yahoo Group, in response to the query (not from us, we swear) "Ladies please name any and every athlete whether NFL, NBA or NCAA that is Bi Sexual or just plain GAY!!!."...
An Interview With The "Lee Corso Is A Penis" Guy
Remember that guy who held up that "Lee Corso Is A Penis" sign behind the ESPN ranter a few weeks ago? Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer has an interview with the guy. Fittingly, the guy wouldn't give this last name because, of course, he wants to work for ESPN....
Meet The New Packers Running Back
The Packers might be down to to their fifth-string running back, but that's hardly a bad thing. In fact, new fantasy obsessive pickup Samkon Gado is one of our new favorite players, because we've come across MySpace profile, and, all told, we think the guy sounds kind of cool....
Is Peyton Ready For His Closeup?
Well, we've finally rid ourselves of that long-running subplot; the Colts have finally beat the Patriots, in a sadly dull Monday nighter. (Honestly, nobody shows less joy than Peyton Manning after a victory; it's like interviewing a hickish, slightly fey math teacher after he gives a test.) Indian...
Manning Vs. Brady, Monday Night Football. That'll Work.
Tonight's the game that's so huge that Sports Illustrated actually resisted the temptation to put Terrell Owens on the cover for it: Colts at Patriots, Manning vs. Brady, stats vs. results, dogs vs. cats, gay vs. straight, you name it....
That's All For T.O.
Making the unofficial officially official, Eagles coach Andy Reid announced a few minutes ago that Terrell Owens will not play for the Eagles again this season....
Leftovers: Youth is Served
• A's Huston Street, Phillies' Ryan Howard take AL, NL Rookie of the Year honors. Parents immediately buy "My Son is Rookie of the Year" bumper stickers. [MLB.com] • Man U. ends Chelsea's 40-match unbeaten streak, which probably doesn't mean much to you unless you like warm beer. [The Globe And Mail...
Smells Like Team Spirit In Carolina
As you would probably expect, we're getting all kinds of tips and info about the two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders who sis-boom-bahhed each other over the weekend, and we've even got some people on the inside whispering in our ear....
Clinton Portis' Methodical Meltdown
That guy right there is Redskins running back Clinton Portis, who is slowly limping toward madness, right before everyone's eyes. This week, before last night's win over the Eagles, Portis announced that his previous character, Southeast Jerome, had died and now he was Dr. I Don't Know. Who is Dr....
T.O.'s 18-Year-Old Assassin
We find it amusing that people are trying to come up with alternate excuses why Terrell Owens was suspended by the Eagles — fight with Hugh Douglas, frustration over the Eagles not recognizing his 100th touchdown, so on — when it's pretty clear, to us anyway, that his comment that Brett Favre woul...
Now We Know Why The WNBA Doesn't Have Cheerleaders
Well, these type of stories don't come along every day. As we're sure most of you have heard by now, two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested in Tampa early Sunday morning after, police say, the two of them were getting them some Sheryl Swoopes in the bathroom. That itself isn't illegal (t...
NFL Roundup: Kicking T.O.
• We love pictures like this. Everyone, honestly, should have a kicker of their own to hug and cuddle. • We're not going to get too into this — because, of course, we're going to do our own whole post on the matter later today — but ESPN's coverage of Terrell Owens is bordering on stalking. ESPN's...
This Week In Foreign Sports
Their terminology is confusing, they're often not allowed to touch the ball with their hands and occasionally royalty shows up to watch for a few minutes before heading back to the castle. It's weird sports from other lands, which when you get down to it, are no more ridiculous than ours. News it...
Leftovers: Spackler Makes His Move
• Bill Murray offers GM job to Theo Epstein. Then he awakes the next morning and offers him the job again. Then again ... [Chowdaheads] • Ali "may have only months to live." Please don't go and leave us with just Tyson and Larry Holmes ... [This Is London] • Favre may not return if Packers fire Sher...
Stevie Franchise's Charming Nickname
In response to our Steve Francis-Cuttino Mobley item from earlier today, a "lowly paid" source "familiar with the Rockets laundry room" sends us a depressing tip:...
Revisiting Felix Heredia
A fascinating, oddly chilling read from "writer" Tiffany Battista was just sent to us, and we had to share it with you. Essentially, it details a night three years ago when Mets reliever Felix Heredia — who was suspended for steroids last month — woke up Battista (who was with a friend in his hous...
Tom Brady's Existential Crisis
Honestly, does "60 Minutes" interview anyone but athletes anymore? This week's winner of the Steve Kroft Sweepstakes is Tom Brady, who waxes philosophic on his career so far, and what's coming up. He actually goes a little Theo Epstein/Bill Simmons on us, saying how he has sometimes struggled with...
Joe Paterno ... Closet Raci — You Know, We Don't Have The Energy Anymore
Another day, another old college football coach being subtly accused of racism. The headline on ESPN.com's home page kind of lets you know how Penn State coach Joe Paterno's comments on black athletes is being spun: "Paterno Links Black Athletes To Increased Scoring."...