f Page 3770 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Leftovers: Kenny Is Vewwwy Sawwwwy
· Kenny Rogers apologizes to ballpark paparazzi everywhere. [San Francisco Chronicle] · The last roundup? Schilling heads to bullpen. [Keep Your Sox On] · Armstrong continues his 3,607 kilometer victory lap at Tour de France. [NY Times]...
Hopefully They Don't Change Logos Sometime Before, Oh, Eternity
From the great sports fan behavior chroniclers at Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer comes the tale of James Henry Smith. He is — or, was, rather — "one of the biggest Steelers fans in the universe," say his friends. As if to prove it, he was buried in his recliner, all decked up in his Steelers garb. Ho...
Leftovers: Jesus Shuttlesworth Stays Put
· Because you crave NBA news in July: Ray Allen, Sonics agree to terms. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer] · Hitting it through the dragon's mouth is a bitch: China launching its own pro golf tour. [The Divot] · I Am Furious (Yellow): Lance Armstrong finally claims Tour de France yellow jersey. [TDFBlog R...
Blind Item: Which Current President Used To Have Too Much Of The Bubbly?
Remember a couple of years ago, when Mets catcher Mike Piazza called a press conference to let everyone know he wasn't gay? Anybody remember why he had to do that? Because the New York Post's Page Six ran a blind item. It said:...
NFL Stars Enjoy Playing With Themselves And Other NFL Stars
We are just more than a month away from the release of Madden 06, the EA Sports game that's slowly becoming just about as much fun as the actual NFL. At a release party for the game in Manhattan last week, various NFL players tried it out. Selected highlights:...
Leftovers: More Old Men Getting Punched
· Boxer Thomas Hearns, 46, planning comeback, purchase of a "Rascal" scooter. [Detroit News] · Um, who in their right mind would buy these? Vikings' coach Tice fined $100,000 for scalping tickets. [Minneapolis Star-Tribune] · 646-pound catfish caught in Thailand. Construction begins on world's large...
Sports Illustrated Knows Not Of This Herpes!
We picked up our copy of Sports Illustrated yesterday and were most pleased to see Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick on the cover. Finally! Vick ends his silence on the whole giving women herpes fiasco and shed some light on that whole Ron Mexico business. Why else would he be on the cover?...
Kraft Meant To Give The Ring All Along! Of course!
Patriots owner Robert Kraft now says that he meant to give Russian president Vladimir Putin his Super Bowl ring in the first place....
Oh, Yes, We Can Definitely Hear You Now
Right now, half the country is looking at this picture and saying, "Hey ... did I go to college with that guy?...
He Should Have At Least Gotten Some Vodka Out Of It
Patriots owner Robert Kraft was out doing what huge capitalists do this week: Meeting with leaders of other countries and gladhanding them enough so they'll give them some free shit down the line. Kraft shook hands with Russian president Vladimir Putin and, to show off, handed Putin his Patriots ...
Do You Know This First Round Pick?
Meet Ian Mahinmi. Who's that? He's the 6-foot-10, 18-year-old Frenchman the defending NBA champion San Antonio Spurs drafted at the end of the first round last evening. The Spurs have obviously unearthed some great unheralded players before, but Mahinmi has to take the taco. The NBA Draft is one ...
Leftovers: Temper Tantrum Edition
· When Baseball Players Attack: Oliver Perez, Pittsburgh Pirates; Kenny Rogers, Texas Rangers. [ESPN.com] · Law & Order: Beverage Victims Unit. Man pleads not guilty to dousing Giambi. [San Francisco Chronicle] · Flyers' Roenick rips fans of hypothetical pro hockey league. [TSN]...
Kurt Warner, Busy Man, Getting Busy
New Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner is renowned for his firm Christian values and devotion to family, his wife and God. (Not in that order.) He also, according to an interview with the Arizona Cardinals Web site, can apparently inseminate his wife just by looking at her....
Brad And Grace
Meet Brad Wackerlin. He lives in Lake of the Hills, Ill., is 33 years old and hey, sorry ladies, he just got married. He is also unnaturally obsessed with former Cubs first baseman Mark Grace. How obsessed? Well, he has 2,000 different Mark Grace baseball cards, runs two Mark Grace Web sites — Ma...
The LaVar Arrington Weekend
A spy sends us this report from an event that Redskins linebacker LaVar Arrington and 49ers defender Julian Peterson hosted this last weekend which allegedly involved gunfire:...
Left On Base: Wait ... Where's Larry Brown?
· Cavs Catch Ferry: Cleveland has a new GM. [Cleveland Plain-Dealer] · Valentine to Baseball: World Tourney is "insulting." [Associate Press] · Have Gun, Will Travel: Clippers' Wilcox arrested. [USA Today]...
The Most Pointless Job On Earth (And You Can Still Get Fired From It!)
ESPN is reporting — and apparently they're actually reporting it this time — that the Minnesota Timberwolves have hired former Suns guard (and notorious dater of black chicks) Rex Chapman to be the new general manager of the team. He replaces current general manager Jim Stack, a former Northwester...
Draft Star Warming Up In Underoos
Meanwhile, as Utah's Andrew Bogut talks about the large numbers of big black stiffs, North Carolina guard Marvin Williams — his only real competition for the first overall pick — merely sounds happy to be watching cartoons, drinking Capri-Sun and playing kiss tag....
Bogut Obsessed With Big, Black Stiffs
NBA Draft is tomorrow night, and Utah center Andrew Bogut is expected to be the first pick by the Milwaukee Bucks. Bogut is not considered a can't-miss prospect, and he thinks it's maybe because he is white. In an interview with Sam Smith of the Chicago Tribune, Bogut points out that there are ple...
Left On Base: Sorenstam Hanging Around Like A Demented Barnacle
· U.S. Women's Open: Sorenstam surges to, well, ninth. [The Golf Blog] · Larry Brown plans hospital stay, and we're not feeling too well ourselves. [MSNBC] · Somehow a red card just doesn't seem sufficient: Soccer star robbed during interview. [SI.com] · A monster hangover, plus this: Dolphins wave ...