fail Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bless This Oafish Koch Heir And His Hideous Shirts
Because it is so cruel and so stupid, so petty and also so astonishingly vast, it is difficult to fully get a handle on the $1.5 trillion tax bill that the Republicans pushed through the House and Senate on Wednesday. A disconcerting number of little fees and insults in the bill are only now becomin...
Our Dear Sweet Wonderteen Christian Pulisic Is Very Sad About Missing The World Cup
Once the rage subsided within the proud hearts of American soccer fans in response to the USMNT’s humiliating failure to qualify for next summer’s World Cup, the feeling that settled in has been one of profound sadness. Mostly, this sadness has centered on what was stolen from us—namely, the opportu...
They Didn't Even Make The Playoffs This Year
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Yes, We're All Shocked To Learn The Cotton Bowl Has A Roof
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U.S.A. Out Of World Cup On Phantom Goal<em></em>
A nightmare World Cup cycle for the USMNT came to an end tonight, as a 2-1 U.S. loss to Trinidad and Tobago, coupled with wins by Panama and Honduras, eliminated the Americans from the competition....
The Short Life And Neverending Afterlife Of Rush Limbaugh's Disastrous ESPN Stint<em></em>
There is a physical thing that happens to a certain type of Famous Terrible American, and once this thing begins happening it does not stop. It does not happen to every Famous Terrible American, and the process does not begin at the same moment in their respective Famous, Terrible American lives; on...
MLB's International Signing Rules Are A Disgrace
The precise details of what led to former Atlanta Braves general manager John Coppolella’s downfall are still unknown, but the basics are out: It was a breach of international signing rules, one said to be “significantly bigger” than the one that cost the Red Sox dearly last year. That makes this a ...
<i>Jeopardy!</i> NFL Category Goes Horribly Wrong
If you ever thought you could cruise on Jeopardy! if you were fortunate enough to face a sports category, you’d be right. Tonight’s group of competitors failed to come up with the correct response on any of the questions, and were only saved from further embarrassment by the clock running out on the...
Alabama's Governor Won't Give Us The Auburn Softball Complaint; Maybe They'll Give It To You
Last month, ESPN reported that former Auburn softball player Alexa Nemeth had filed a complaint alleging that players suffered sexual harassment and abuse under then-head coach Clint Myers. This complaint, per ESPN, also said that “Coach Clint Myers knowingly let his son Corey Myers have relations ...
Here Is A Tremendously Sad Strikeout
Striking out—it sucks! Striking out and then somehow losing all control of your limbs and wiping out in the dirt as you try to recover from a failed attempt to check your swing—that sucks more!...
Oy Vey
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Klay Thompson Rim-Checks Himself To Hell
Show them the skills that have made you a rich and famous basketball man, Klay:...
News Travels Slowly In Baltimore
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Cycling Team Derailed By Disintegrating Wheels
Team Sky have spent the past few weeks embroiled in one of the biggest doping controversies the sport has seen since Lance Armstrong, and this morning, their on-road fate has ominously aligned with the team’s image. Sky are usually one of the best team time trial squads out there and they’ve taken T...
Seasons Where Arsenal Finished Fourth And Got Knocked Out In The Round Of 16, Ranked
Somehow, it’s only happened four times....
You Will Fail
Congratulations on your resolve to get into the best shape of your life this year. You will fail....
Tonight On ESPN Classic
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Your Next Browns Quarterback, Everyone
There are tougher ways to earn $20,000, I guess....