fan Page 171 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Low-Budget Pitbull Imitator Produces Nauseating "Do The Mark Sanchez" Video
There aren't too many lyrics here, other than "do the Mark Sanchez," and "heart of a champion," so it's hard to dispute their words with statistical evidence. (Of note: the call-and-response here is "Who's number one?" "We number one!" But "we" could really be the Jets or the performers.) Mark San...

Persian Awakening In Perry Hall: Uptight Mullahs Forced To Reverse Decision On Soccer Team's Bernie Dance
Yesterday, we brought you news that the Grand Ayatollah of Perry High School in Maryland had cancelled the boys varsity soccer season after players did the Bernie on the field. The dance was deemed "unacceptable" by the Grand Ayatollah, who also goes by the name Principal George Roberts....

Uptight Mullahs Punish Soccer Team For Gyrations They Deem Indecent
No, not the Iranians. The Patch site for Perry Hall, Maryland, reports that the principal of Perry Hall High School shut down the boys' soccer team after the players celebrated a playoff victory by doing the Bernie on the field. Principal George Roberts declared that because of the dance exhibition,...

A Seattle Sounders Fan Salutes You, Two Fingers At A Time
Your morning roundup for Nov. 3, the day we learned you're never to old to be a male prostitute. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Beer Down In Calgary!
Lee Stempniak transmitted a check through Alexander Edler and the plexiglass to knock a crisp frosty brew out of the hands of one unlucky fan, who really should have waited for a break in the action to walk back to his front row seats, the entitled jackass. And if you're with that guy behind you, ...

Oh, No. No, No, No. (Man Gets A Texans Super Bowl Champions Tattoo)
Man, Chris Brown, you are a brave, stupid man. Not only did you get a Texans logo tattooed on your arm, framed by the words "Super Bowl" XVLI Champion. But you shaded the area behind the roman numerals so you won't be able to fix it in the future. Why would you do this, Chris?...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Back-to-back wins over undefeated 1A 6 Man 1 Region III District 9 (6 Man) teams were not meant to be for the mighty Knox City Greyhounds who suffered a 72-50 loss to the mightier Throckmorton Greyhounds. This, after Chad emerged from the tunnel at a pep rally to Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like A Lad...

Toledo Frat Boy Surprisingly Consumed With Informing You About His Penis
There's been plenty of scoring in the first quarter of MACtion between NIU and Toledo—the Huskies lead 21-14 early, helped by two Tommylee Lewis kickoff return TDs— but this Toledo fratter's looking for some scoring of his own, from the looks of his sign and the very subtle crotch-grab with which ...

Possibly Drunk, Definitely Zubaz-Wearing Steelers Fan Is Very Excited About Being On NFL Network
Albert Breer's had some struggles in his first season as an NFL Network on-air correspondent, but he was blissfully unaware of the majesty appearing behind him in this standup from Heinz Field Sunday morning. Kudos to the Steelers fans for using an ambulance as their tailgate vehicle, as it probab...

The Absurd Fluctuation In Each Team's Game Six Win Chances, Represented Graphically
St. Louis won. I'm pretty sure. [Fangraphs]...

76-Year-Old Woman Whose Dying Wish Was To See A Rangers Championship Died Last Night
Heneri Ann Short of Red Oak, Texas, was a baseball fan her whole life: her father used to plop her on the mound as a baby when he pitched for his rural league team. She was a Rangers fan for as long as they existed. She battled bone and lung cancer for the last three months, finally deciding to stop...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Our favorite Texas high-school football fan/aspiring pro wrestler Chad McGhee was in the booth Friday night when his beloved Knox City Greyhounds faced the 7-0 Gordon Longhorns. Make that the 7-1 Gordon Longhorns. Per Chad's Facebook page in those giddy hours immediately after the showdown:...

This Evening: Grandma Says Fu*k The Colts
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 24, the day the odometer flipped to one million. Photo via Lyle L. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

An Idaho-Based Pig Farmer Named Lindy Hinkleman Has Won $300,000 Playing Fantasy Baseball The Past Three Years
And really, what more is there to know than that? You're doing life wrong. [NYT]...

The Big Yankees Fan Kicks The Red Sox When They're Down
Here's how Big Yankees Fan Michael LaPayower describes his latest societal contribution:...

Fans Trying To Cheer High-School Football Players Up After Rivalry Loss Get Pepper Sprayed
After a Thursday night high-school rivalry football game in Roosevelt, Utah, fans of the losing side "tried to boost the team's morale by performing the Haka, a fierce traditional war chant often performed at football and rugby games around the state."...

One "All Blacks" Fan Stands Out In This Rugby World Cup Crowd Shot
Writes tipster Ryan W., "The Rugby World Cup finals are on currently airing NBC. I took a break from watching terrible NFL games to catch some of the finals between France and New Zealand (aka the 'All Blacks'). During a shot of the New Zealand crowd, I spotted this charming young man on the right ...

Texas Fan Who Threw Wiffleball At Matt Holliday Last Night "Wasn't Really A Douche In College"
The St. Louis Cardinals were up 14-6 in the seventh inning last night when Nelson Cruz hit a fly ball to right center. It was at that point that a Texas Rangers fan threw a wiffleball in an unsuccessful attempt to distract outfielder Matt Holliday. That fan got jeered and ejected, but college frie...

Wolverhampton Fans Taunt "Know-Nothing" Coach, Leave And Miss Team's Comeback
When you're a football club in the English Premier League, you're not supposed to lose to teams freshly promoted from the minors. That's what the Wolverhampton Wolves with a 3-0 drubbing delivered by QPR in September. And that's what it looked like the Wolverhampton Wolves were about to do against...

The Guy Wearing Blue In A Sea Of Clemson Orange Gives A Two-Finger Salute
When bro there decided to let his fingers do the talking, Clemson was taking a 24-10 lead over North Carolina. Less than a minute and a half of game-time later, UNC cut that lead in half with a 58-yard TD pass. That should learn 'em....