fan Page 191 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pudgy Philly Puker To The Pokey
Matthew Clemmens will spend 60 to 90 days in jail, and do community service (the judge suggested cleaning bathrooms at Citizens Bank Park) after pleading guilty to assault, harassment and disorderly conduct. We're awaiting comment from crazy uncle Dave. [Inquirer]...

Raul Ibanez's Hitting Makes Another Philly Fan Cry
But this time it's tears of joy for a girl who caught his home run ball, not tears of "we're paying him how much next year?"...

Fan Vomits At Phillies Game: The Sequel
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Video Compilation Of Dads Catching Foul Balls While Holding Their Babies
Saturday's Cubs-Cardinals game featured one of the greatest sights in baseball: a father taking a risk and catching a foul ball while holding a baby. In honor of that man's brave baby imperiling, here's a salute to those glory-hound patres familias....

On The Other Side Of A No-No, Tigers Learn How To Pick Their Battles
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Weekend Winner: The Dan Haren Swindle
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Angels, who shoplifted Dan Haren out of Arizona and so thoroughly snookered the Diamondbacks that someone should check if Chase Field is encased in aluminum siding....

Deadpin I-Team Assemble For The Case Of The Goat-Masked White Sox Fan
It's time for the I-Team to gather once more and discover the identity of a Chicago baseball fan. This time: a South Sider. Though no M&M's-Jacket-Guy, it is a guy wearing a sleeveless shirtsey while wearing a horrific goat mask....

Last Night's Winner: Orioles Fans, As Strange As That Sounds
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Camden Yards' 20,108 paying customers, who, despite the O's not scoring a run, were treated to two meltdowns, three ejections and one very determined fan on the field....

David Robinson Spotted In His Natural Habitat: Comic-Con
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Pink Hat-Wearing Cubs Fan Identified, Loathed (UPDATE)
The pink-hatted—but apparently not always green-shirted—Cubs fan whom the I-Team was tasked with finding has been identified. His name's Jim Anixter, and many, many of you know something about him. For instance, that his hat says, "The Pink Hat Guy."...

A Fantasy Football Screwjob We Can All Enjoy
The heartwarming tale of a non-fan invited to a draft and given a player list from 2005. He ended up with Priest Holmes, Marvin Harrison, Torry Holt and Steve McNair. But not Brett Favre, because he was retired. [Couch Groove Football]...

I-Team Assemble: Who Is This Cubs Fan?
That pink-hatted, green-shirted man behind home plate has been troubling—nay, pissing off—one reader. His tale after the jump....

Today In Things Making You Fatter: Baseball
Shocking news out of the halls of SI today: all-you-can-eat deals at baseball games are extremely unhealthy, and teams might have some ethical obligation to stop such promotions. To the pull-quotes!...

Announcers Get Fan's Gender Wrong, Repeatedly
Either no one explained to the Indians announcers how mommies and daddies or different, or they saw the large bosom and Packers shirt and assumed it was your typical Wisconsin man. [h/t Kevin]...

Tiger Woods Is Back To Cussing At Himself
Over the weekend, Tiger didn't perform as well as he had planned and, following a missed putt, decided to let the obscenities fly. While oddly familiar, we are glad to see Tiger getting his act together on the green. [Devil Ball Golf]...

When Gary Carter Gets Into It With A Child, You Know Security's Going To Get Involved
I can't really blame Carter here. He knows the rules about only signing specific items, and so does the "fan" who baits him. Poor kid: in one day he learns that ballplayers can be mean, and that his dad's a douche. [Via]...

Save The Endangered Canadian Beer Snake
The Winnipeg Blue Bombers are considering banning the age-old Canadian pastime of stacking beer cups, after spectators were "slightly injured" during this record-breaking attempt last week. Aw, but it almost reached the 55-yard line! [CBC]...

David Ortiz Swears In Spanish During Home Run Derby, Announcers Hilariously Mistranslate
During his first round of derbying, David Ortiz took a break to wipe himself down and sip some of Rafael Soriano's Gatorade. Then he said "pussy" in Spanish, and Berman and Joe Morgan thought he meant something else. Let's break it down....

A Wheelchair-Bound Fan Storms Field During CFL Game
Now this is how you disrupt a game. I assume this person is handicapped but the details on his great murderball ride to freedom are scarce. Provide them if you can, please. Thank God they didn't tase him. [YouTube via Orlando Kurtenblog]...

FMK: Ichiro, Werth, Strawberry
I've fielded kyuu or juu tips-emails about this video of Blossoming Young Lady Giddying Up After Ichiro Elbows Her Face, Caresses Her Outer Thigh....