fan Page 193 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pukey Phillies Fan Cops A Plea; His Crazy Uncle Weighs In
Matthew Clemmens pleaded guilty today to assault; he's expected to receive probation. But the real news is that we heard back from his conspiracy theorist uncle!...
Basebrawl Season Is In Full Swing
Thursday's Angels-White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field featured two things you often see on the South Side these days: a White Sox loss, and a bunch of White Sox fans beating the shit out of each other. H/T BullFightsOnAcid...
Homeless Man Hops Wall, Strolls Across Outfield To Get To Concession Stand
The man interrupted the Altoona Curve's game because "he was thirsty from drinking vodka," so he hopped the outfield wall and made a beeline for the food stand. Actually, that does sound more pressing than completing a Double-A baseball game....
Other Texas Fans Were Asking For Those Middle Fingers
Here's the full video of the guy who snagged that home run ball at Arlington on Wednesday and after seeing the scrum he had to fight through to get it, I'd say that "up yours" was well-earned. Filthy savages. [MLB.com]...
Bruins Fans Toss Epithets, Foodstuffs, Trojan-ENZ At Flyers Fan
All Adam Gonsiewski, a Simon Gagne jersey-owning Flyers fan, wanted to do was see his team win Game 5 against the Bruins. Instead he was pelted with various (unused?) prophylactics by the rowdy Beantown crowd. Like this one. [Crossing Broad via Philly.com]...
The Deadspin Guide To Naming Your Fantasy Team
CBS released a list of the 200 most common fantasy baseball team names; they're generally about as uncreative and unfunny as you'd expect. Here are some ground rules to make sure you're not the laughingstock of your laughingstock fantasy league....
China Stripped Of Medal For Underage Gymnast. Not That One, The Other One
Who could possibly forget the courageous 2000 USA women's gymnastics team, who captured America's heart, and captured a bronze medal — 10 years later, because one of the Chinese gymnasts was 14 years old?...
Alleged Racism, Confirmed Mustache At Angel Stadium
You'd think the Angels, actively marketed to Latino fans, would be the last team to have their ushers insulting a Hispanic fan for not speaking English, and giving him the finger. Wait, he was a Yankee fan? Carry on, then....
Footage Of Maryland Student's Beating Goes Missing, Re-Appears Minus Some "Editing"
A disc of security camera video that might show police officers assaulting a Maryland student during the post-Duke game bliss mysteriously went missing, then re-appeared hours later....with a two-minute gap in the footage. Wait! That's not the shadiest part, yet!...
Family Rushes To Vomiting Fan's Defense In Eminently Quotable Fashion
Now I'm no Perry Mason, but I'd say that if your defense rests in part on there being a distinction between a right person and a wrong person on whom to ralph, your case is lost already....
Apropos Of Nothing, Here's Phillies Vomit Kid Doing Madonna Karaoke
Mean-spirited? Yeah, a little. Only tangentially related to sports? Sure. But fuck it. Here's Matthew Clemmens (stage name: Pukemon) with "Material Girl."...
A Blow-By-Blow Account Of The Vomiting Phillies Fan
In our #tips section, we received a purported firsthand account from someone sitting in the same section as Matthew Clemens, the New Jersey man accused of throwing up on an 11-year-old girl. We reprint it here for your reading pleasure....
Last Night's Winner: Not This Guy
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Unlike this Phillies fan, who on Wednesday at Citizens Bank Park allegedly jammed his fingers down his throat and vomited on an 11-year-old girl and her father....
Security Guard Beats Up Fan At Dodgers Game
This video, shot on Opening Day at Dodger Stadium, has it all: some casual racism, a flying chest-kick, the security-guard-on-fan action that everyone loves, and the inevitable Greek chorus yelling, "It's going on YouTube!" [YouTube; earlier]...
Where Are All The Fans? Watching Soccer, Actually
We're barely a week into the season, and already teams are freaking right the fuck out about empty seats. And the numbers sure have been embarrassing....
Video Catches Cops Brutally Beating Maryland Student After Duke Game
After a Maryland student was seriously injured during the melee that followed the Terps big win over Duke last month, cops claimed he had attacked mounted policemen and was kicked by their horses. This videotape says they're dirty liars....
Loneliness, Thy Name Is Pirates Fandom
Reader Chris sends along this picture of The Omega Man of Pirates fans. Why stay in the second row? Does PNC Park employ totalitarian ushers? Is he afraid of looking the fool should a foul ball approach? Fascinating to ponder....
Canada Finally Figures Out How To Make Football Fun
The CFL finally gets a fantasy league, named — wait for it — Fantas-Eh Football. Perfect for all of you who have been bemoaning the lack of a "rouge" scoring category in your own leagues. [Regina Leader-Post]...
Islander Fan Wins A Car By Shooting Better Than The Islanders
It's the equivalent of the half court shot: sliding a puck from the opposite blue line through a precisely puck-sized hole in front of the goal. For the first time we can remember, someone actually made the shot....
Little Girl Cries Over Tweety Carter's Departure From Baylor. We've All Been There.
Via reader Ben comes this video of a 5-year-old girl who's incredibly, adorably distraught over the Baylor guard's approaching graduation. It is, I believe, the distilled essence of every Rivals.com message board in existence. [YouTube; somewhat related]...