fan Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

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Skins Ban Non-Season Ticket Holders From Using Will Call
I was actively hoping I wouldn’t be writing about Washington’s football team again tonight, but they seem to be unable to keep themselves out of the news. Which would be an admirable trait, if it were ever for something positive. ...

Sleeping Fan Jolted Awake By Chris Davis's Walk-Off Homer
Chris Davis hit two home runs last night, one of them being a walk-off bomb in the bottom of the 11th inning. That’s great for Chris Davis, but what we’re really here to discuss is the fan at the center of the image above. ...

A Unified Theory of Dusting
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Fantasy Football Loser Forced To Take Walk Of Shame
Reader Thomas sent along these photos, taken during Friday’s evening rush hour in Minneapolis. Without knowing anything else, I’d say someone finished last in their fantasy league last season....

A Good Way To Troll Your Fantasy Opponents
Matthew Berry shares a delightful little piece of fantasy-league gamesmanship: a photoshopped fake ESPN.com/Rotowire update on Dez Bryant claiming the WR is out for the season with a torn ACL. (He’s not. Don’t panic.)...

A Fan's Notes
Over at The Daily Beast, my pal Allen Barra writes about Frederick Exley and his muse, the late Frank Gifford: ...

Panthers Bro Wants Desperately Not To Be Left Hanging
“Bro? Bro... Bro! BRO!” ...

It Should Be A Crime To Hold Your Fantasy Draft This Early
Kelvin Benjamin, the Panthers’ obscenely talented sophomore receiver (and quite possibly the Panthers’ only talented receiver), will miss the entire 2015 season with a torn ACL suffered in a freak, non-contact practice injury. This is bad for Carolina, and bad for Carolina’s fans, but who cares abou...

This Woman Does Not Like Us Making Fun Of The Texans
Many people are fans of Why Your Team Sucks. But some people are NOT fans of Why Your Team Sucks. This is an email we received in response to yesterday’s Texans preview....

11 Tips To Intentionally Ruin A Mock Draft
Mock drafts are a charade within a charade. Fantasy football is fake; mock drafts are fake drafts to prepare for the “real” fake draft, for a fake team. The only purpose of mock drafts is to get a general sense where players are going in each round, and that’s only useful for the first five rounds. ...

Dad Attempts To Retrieve Home Run Ball While Holding Child, Fails Miserably
Attempting to catch a baseball while holding a child is a risky proposition. It can make you look like a suspect parent who is also a super-cool badass if pulled off properly, but it can also make you look like a suspect parent who is not at all cool if the opportunity is flubbed. This guy falls int...

How To Run A Fantasy Football League Without Making Everyone Hate You
Because your friends are lazy and untrustworthy, you were somehow the best choice to run this year’s fantasy football league, which means you’ll set up the draft, oversee trades, handle money, and use the internet an hour or two more per week than usual. Congratulations. Now, you just have to tackle...

Mike Scioscia Called "Bush League" For Trying To Freeze Opposing Pitcher
White Sox closer David Robertson accused Angels manager Mike Scioscia of intentionally blocking the plate during an argument with umpires so Robertson couldn’t stay warm, a charge Scioscia denied....

New York Red Bulls Fans Drop Sick Burn On NYCFC And The Rest Of MLS
Kinda hard to argue when Pirlo’s playing like this:...

Idiot Yankees Fan Throws Back Home Run Ball, Hits Brett Gardner
Brett Gardner took some friendly fire today in the Bronx as a fan attempted to throw back a fourth-inning home run ball off the bat of José Bautista and succeeded in drilling the Yankees outfielder in the back of the skull....

Man With "Who Dat" Forehead Tattoo Accused Of Grabbing Officers' Balls
An inmate at Orleans Parish Prison was charged with two counts of battery of a police officer, simple battery, and sexual battery when he allegedly grabbed two officers’ testicles in separate incidents Monday and Tuesday....

Please Let This Be The Last Fantastic Four<i> </i>Movie
1. You know, until everybody turns into a superhero, the new Fantastic Four reboot isn’t half bad. You can see what they were trying to do. We watch four ambitious, incredibly smart young kids come together to work on a science project that has the potential to change the world; they’re played by so...

Bulgarian Fans Respond To Foul By Chasing Opponents Off The Pitch
It’s official: CSKA Sofia fans are the realest....

Somebody Fucked With The Spurs Jesus
When Spurs Jesus got burglarized last month, he didn’t turn the other cheek, and he didn’t forgive his (literal) trespassor. Because he’s not actually Jesus, he’s just a weird San Antonio fan who pretends to be Christ. ...