farce - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Playoff spots land on some MLB teams, Celtics only land on their faceMajor League Baseball got its final-day “bonanza,” which it will use as a selling point whenever they get around to expanding the playoffs for good. While the American League slots had been sorted for a while, the National League had a smorgasbord of teams that got lost on their way to somewhere els...

Floyd Mayweather's "Fight" With A Japanese Kickboxing Prodigy Was Dumber Than Anyone Could Have Hoped For<em></em><em></em>Last night in Tokyo, Floyd Mayweather fought 20-year-old kickboxer Tenshin Nasukawa in an altogether embarrassing sham “exhibition” boxing match which was announced in early November, then unannounced two days later, and finally un-unannounced after that, with a strange set of rules and no convincin...

A Non-Exhaustive List Of Batshit Stuff That Happened During The Cal-TCU Bowl Game<em></em>My beloved idiot sons, the California Golden Bears football team, somehow lost the worst college football game of the season last night to TCU, a 10-7 stinker that featured the worst interception you’ll see throughout bowl season, and also the second-worst. If those two weren’t enough for you, don’t...

Piss Off, Tim Tebow

Tim Tebow isn’t a major-league ballplayer, and he isn’t a pro ballplayer in any but the barest, most literal sense. Certainly, if he weren’t famous for playing football and for not having been aborted, no one anywhere would pay him money to play baseball. Look at this shit!...

Here's ESPN Sideline Reporter Lewis Johnson Interviewing A Statue Of A Pig

Only the latest entry in the recent tradition of sideline reporters "interviewing" animals or objects that, because they are not possessed of human intelligence, cannot respond to any questions. Background: that's a statue, and Lewis Johnson is a person, and he asks it questions, and it remains co...

Chile To Investigate Pablo Neruda's Death; FIFA-Adviser Henry Kissinger To Investigate His Navel

A judge in Chile just ordered an investigation into the mysterious death of poet Pablo Neruda, who supposedly succumbed to prostate cancer 12 days after a Henry Kissinger-backed right wing coup installed a hideous dictator who brutalized and slaughtered his own people for years. The circumstances su...

War Criminal To Advise FIFA On Compliance

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, newly re-installed FIFA dictator Sepp Blatter has announced that that avatar of moral probity, Henry Kissinger, will advise FIFA's new corporate governance and compliance body from his seat on a "committee of wise persons."...

FIFA's Version Of Democracy Captured In A Single Photo

I'm sure all of you will be clustered around the internet wire today as the exciting results of FIFA's hotly contested presidential race trickle in. Early exit polls reveal that voters are evenly split between Sepp Blatter and Sepp Blatter, but you never know which way the suburbs of Prague will go....