We Must Destigmatize Farting
Bolder minds envision a world free of strife, hunger, inequality. My utopia is a little more modest and attainable: a world where people pass gas freely and openly whenever they have to, unfettered by social mores.
Do Not Masturbate While Seated
Your letters:
What Chair Has Been Farted In The Most?
Chairs! They’re soft and comfortable and they provide the perfect acoustic backdrop for a good, solid round of farting. But what chair has been farted in the most over time? Can you even NAME a famous chair without cheating? Is an uninformed discussion about chair farts worth your time at all? THAT IS THE SUBJECT OF…
Someone Farted
Our money’s on Ditka.
Every NCAA Infraction Should Be Legal
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering drones, urinals, daily fantasy, and more.
The Biggest NFL Story Today Is Whether Jim Tomsula Farted At A Press Conference
After a feel-good win against the Vikings in Week 1, the 49ers have reverted to the complete mess we knew they’d be, but ignore that for a minute. Did head coach Jim Tomsula fart during yesterday’s press conference? Listen for yourself:
Yankees Yell At Carlos Gomez For His Lack Of Prof--[DEAFENING FART NOISE]
The thing that sucks about being Carlos Gomez—a guy who’s earned a reputation as a “hot head,” or whatever it is grumpy baseball men are calling people—is that every little thing he does is going to be taken as a slight.
The Marlins Played Fart Noises During The Nationals' Batting Practice
Some weird stuff happened at the Marlins’ stadium while the visiting Nationals were taking batting practice last night. Some weird fart stuff, to be specific:
The Broncos Have A Fart Tax, And Von Miller Frequently Pays It
The Broncos apparently have a fart problem, because the team took action and instituted a system in meetings: If you fart, you pay a fine. Linebacker Von Miller admitted he pays the fart tax a lot.
Down With Pizza Shaming
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering weapons, QB friends, the Raiders, and more.
P.K. Subban, Tactical Farter
The Canadiens defenseman sat down for an interview on Quebec radio talk show Tout le Monde en Parle, and presumably said a whole bunch of interesting things. But forget that—here's what he said about farting on goalies:
Cliff Lee Was Bad And Then Farted
The trade deadline is but nine days away, and one of the big names that's almost certainly on the market—if anyone wants him—is Phillies starter Cliff Lee. Lee made his return to the mound yesterday after more than two months on the DL, and everything was wet and loud and messy.
Why Redshirting Your Kindergartener Is Dumb
Before we get to the Funbag, Craggs wanted me to do a cattle call for audio and/or video of your local nutjob coach screaming at players. So if your indoor equestrian coach is chewing you out for hours at a time, and you had the moxie to take a video of said rant, send it on in. We won't yell at you. We're nice.
Bud Black Fart? Bud Black Fart [Update]
This is a fart.
Grappling Match Ends With Vomit-Inducing Fart
I haven't watched enough grappling competitions to know what the worst thing that could possibly happen to a grappler is, but I have to assume that getting blasted in the face with a fart so noxious that it immediately causes one to vomit and stop the match has to be near the top of the list.
Are Silent Farts Really More Deadly? Science Has An Answer
Our buddies at AsapSCIENCE have created this short educational film that explains just exactly why you fart, why you fart at different volumes, and why those tiny little noiseless bandits are often the worst farts of all.
Farting cop helps bust pot farm? Farting cop helps bust pot farm. [Animal NY]
Coach Cited For Encouraging Wrestlers To Hit Farting Teammate
The former varsity wrestling coach at Dallastown Area High School in central Pennsylvania was cited for disorderly conduct a couple of weeks back. His offense? Back in January, he allegedly told his wrestlers to hit one of their teammates. Let's let Chuck Murphy, the deputy prosecutor, explain why:
Fart Interrupts Snooker World Championship Semifinal
Ronnie O'Sullivan is en route to his fifth snooker world championship title, but his win over Judd Trump in the semifinal was a real stinker.
