fast Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Make Sausage Gravy, And Shave A Few Years Off Your Lifespan
Sausage gravy is deeply, deeply disreputable food. In its typical presentation, slopped across biscuits in some charmingly run-down roadside diner with Patsy Cline playing on the jukebox, it is, in essence, flour on flour, dressed up as actual sustenance by the inclusion of token quantities of butte...
Torin Yater-Wallace Is The Stoner-Philosopher Of The Olympics
There is no one in the world I would rather have to guide me through the intricacies of a food court than an 18-year-old freeskier from Colorado. Torin Yater-Wallace, now America's greatest sporting hero after raiding the Olympic Village McDonald's for a pile of cheeseburgers, was tracked down by Ya...
How To Make Scrambled Eggs, Most Controversial Of All The Breakfasts
Did you know that people do not all make scrambled eggs the same way? Did you know that they even occasionally disagree about how best to make scrambled eggs? It's true. True and intolerable. True and intolerable and horrifying....
How To Make Home Fries, The Breakfast Of Sluggards
The basic idea is that breakfast is supposed to supply your wretched, dead-eyed carcass with enough chemical energy to work itself up into a state vaguely similar to the authentic vitality of the functional, well-adjusted people edging away from you in half-concealed disgust on the bus. This is why...
Your Handling-Lots-Of-McDonald's-Food-At-Once Problems Are Solved
Hey guys, remember back when you'd go to the drive-thru at McDonald's, and you had to, like, read the menu and, like, pick some stuff to eat, and then friggin' tell the guy what you wanted, and then you drove up to the window and opened your mouth and they fired all the food at your face with a gian...
The Wonderful One-Pitch Mo
From my man, Kevin Baker, whose latest novel, The Big Crowd, will be published next month. ...
How (And Why) To Poach Eggs: A Guide For The Haggard
Poaching eggs is a bit more complicated and delicate—these are nice ways of saying annoying—than frying them or scrambling them or hard-boiling them or throwing them at Rick Reilly, and so the question of how to poach them kinda naturally goes with the question of why to poach them. The true answer...
How To Make A Goddamn Omelet
You go to a greasy-spoon diner or an obnoxious chain pancake joint or a seedy meth-scented Waffle House, and you order an omelet. Well, OK, you don't order an omelet—you order a giant chocolate-chip pancake with a smiley face drawn in whipped cream, and then you drown it in pink, berry-flavored c...
I Can't Stop Looking At Steve Spurrier In A Fast-Food Restaurant
I’m not sure which part of this photo of Steve Spurrier in a fast-food restaurant I like the most. That suit with the undone tie that makes him look like he just slept in his car? The sunglasses indoors? That thumbs-up and facial expression of utter satisfaction as he reaches into the condiment stat...
Map: Do You Live In IHOP America Or Waffle House America?
America might be a fast-food nation, but at least it's a rich, greasy tapestry of fast food. In-N-Out Burger is the jewel of the West Coast. Massachusetts seems to breed Dunkin' Donuts franchises the way it used to breed Kennedys. Oklahoma and Wyoming are the only states to have both Hardee's and Ca...
Down on the Corner, Out in the Street
From the SI Vault, check out Gil Rogin's 1964 story, "Confessions of a Stoop Ball Champion":...
Deep Inside Taco Bell's Doritos Locos Taco
My favorite thing about this, from Fast Company, is the subject tag. "Technology." Oh man....
UK Hockey Team Doesn't Regret Ditching Sex Offender Owner: “If The Guy Was Here I’d Say ‘Go Fuck Yourself'"
The Belfast Giants, of the UK's EIHL, made for what seemed like a feel-good story last month when they mutinied against their new owner. After the Giants had been purchased by an American named Christopher Knight, executives discovered that Knight was a registered sex offender in Florida, and refuse...
Mets Utility Player Jordany Valdespin Took A Fastball Right To The Dick
It's been a day of highs and lows for Jordany Valdespin. First, he took Justin Verlander deep to lead off his team's spring training game against the Tigers:...
How To Cook Bacon, Eggs, And Toast: A Guide For Infomercial Skeptics
So I had the occasion, brain-fried and worked-over and at best quasi-sentient by the end of some long recent day, to plop my faltering attention on some cable channel well outside the familiar rotation and there, eventually, to be captivated—horrified, really, the gape-jawed half-smiling horror of e...
UK Hockey Team Ditches New American Owner After It Turns Out He's A Registered Sex Offender
For the NHL's litany of poor potential owners—John Spano's swindling, Boots Del Biaggio's fraud, Greg Jamison straight up not having the money—at least this has never happened. The Belfast Giants, in the UK's EIHL, were recently sold to American Floridian Christopher Knight. That was before they lea...
Carmelo Anthony Has Been Fasting For 15 Days, Is Now Giving Up
Two seasons ago, when Carmelo Anthony was still playing for Denver, Ball Don't Lie's Kelly Dwyer pulled some averages from a 12-game stretch of the Nuggets' season:...
Do You Have To Be Physically Fit To Drive A Race Car?
You know what question I get asked most as a racecar driver? No, not, "Do you get scared?" and, amazingly, not even, "How fast does your car go?" The most commonly asked question is, "Why do you have to be fit to drive a racecar? All you do is sit down and turn a wheel?"...
Hockey Player In UK Takes Skate To The Face And HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT HUGE CUT BELOW HIS NOSE
Craig Peacock is a 24-year-old forward for the Belfast Giants, a team in Northern Ireland that plays in the UK's Elite Ice Hockey League. We once showed you Peacock and the Giants lip-synching their way through a Mariah Carey Christmas number. But this here is far less joyous. Peacock took a skate t...
You Can Waste A Morning Looking At These New Sports Infographics
Co. Design has a story about New York designer Deroy Peraza's latest project, in which he has created visual representations of the result of every NFL, MLB, NHL, and NBA postseason in history. Each season is represented by a simple, radial infographic that have the power to evoke vivid memories of...