PHILADELPHIA—These are supposed to be the treasured memories of the NHL's Winter Classic: Star-crossed Brayden Schenn's first career goal. Mike Rupp's mocking Jagr salute after his first score. Henrik Lundqvist stoning a penalty shot for the game. But they're transient memories, already fading.
For more information, the ESPN SportsNation poll results are available via this link until someone — anyone — in Bristol, Conn. realizes that the Detroit Lions are, in fact, an NFC team.
As in past years, the Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity.
Earlier today, the most intriguing athlete bio in the history of athlete bios made the rounds. Zung Nguyen, a 37-year old defenseman for a Boston-area men's hockey league, became an instant legend for this single sentence:
The sucker punch that dropped a Dolphins fan in the parking lot after Sunday's game vs. the Eagles is so brutal that the meathead who threw it should do some time. The sound of head hitting parking lot is chilling. The louder sound of the initial contact may be worse. Hearkens back to the near-death Bryan Stow case.…
Not only was Andrew P. of Lenexa, Kansas watching Wheel of Fortune this evening, but he was watching at the precise moment that contestant Lorimar made a hand gesture made all the more unfortunate when not accompanied by volume. 'Twas also an unfortunate gesture that host Pat Sajak caught himself before he got too…
Let's start this week's batch off with one of them Magic Eye Picture jawns in which if you stare long enough, you see something different than what you thought you saw. In this case, you're likely to stare at that field dong long enough to eventually see a band at halftime of the Boise State/SDSU game like Justin P.…
It puts the lotion on its knee, and then it gets emailed in via tipster Nick B.
HOLY SHIT, BONFIRE DONG!!! (As Tom G. was kind enough to share: "There was a bonfire at my brother-in-law's house and it was a big pile of brush so I decided to take a picture of a 20 foot fire. I captured a giant flaming dong.")
You people see dongs everywhere, don't you?
Normally, this would just be a paragraph from a news article, complete with a link to the media outlet from which it was quoted. But the Tale of Chad Brothers of Troy is so amazingly amazing that that just won't cut it. That photo came from his Facebook page which he apparently opened, oh, a day earlier. So, off we…
Paul is a grad student down at Rice. He noticed this picture on the front page of the student newspaper, the Thresher.
Vanderbilt held its homecoming weekend last week, and as is tradition, the fraternities hosted alumni brothers for a Saturday night party. At Sigma Alpha Epsilon, they are still surveying the damage.
KDFW, the FOX affiliate in Dallas, sent out this text alert
sometime after Josh Hamilton's 10th inning home run in the middle of the 9th—one of the multiple stretches it seemed like the Rangers had the game in hand. But there are no such things as jinxes; only depleted bullpens, questionable intentional walks, and…
Let's get things started with tipster John D., who steers us toward Net Tractor Talk, where the following words accompanied that there picture:
Kicking off this week's batch of dongmania is J.W from Staten Island who "took my family pumpkin picking this past Monday and we also picked some random gourds up. The picture of the attached gourd has a fine shape and texture. My wife and I named it 'The Harvest Dong.'"
The Boston Herald went to sleep proud of itself for landing the scoop that Theo Epstein is on his way to Chicago. They woke up to the Globe's comprehensive hit on the hard-partying 2011 Red Sox that's the only topic in town.
Another week, another slew of unintentional dong submissions to share. Like this one from call-to-arms tipster Dave D., which was captured at "the CTA Quincy stop: the Holy Grail of Dongrail. Chi-town (dongs) rise up."
Writes tipster Jessica, "I'm sure this is already on your radar because I saw it on Gawker. Seriously, what is that kid holding? It looks like a penis-y double-headed snake. Gross."
Writes tipster Zach, "It's good to see that Joakim Noah is spending his time during the lockout figuring out some low post moves and not hanging out with Florida coeds...oh, wait..." See what Zach did there? Noah is hanging out with coeds. That's why you're looking at that picture right now, noticing his right hand…