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Cyndi Lauper Is Still Alive, Cursing Like A Sailor At Kentucky Derby Event
The Kentucky Derby is this afternoon and nothing says "prestigious first leg of the Triple Crown" like involving Cyndi Lauper in some low-rent celebratory parade....

What Is The CIA Hiding About The Missing DA Who Didn't Prosecute Jerry Sandusky In 1998? (Probably Nothing.)
We've written about Ray Gricar before. He's the former Centre County district attorney who declined to prosecute Jerry Sandusky in 1998, despite a psychologist's warning that Sandusky showed a "likely pedophile's pattern" of behavior. On April 15, 2005, Gricar mysteriously disappeared from central P...

PGA's Young Golfers Form Parody Boy Band, Sing And Rap Horribly, We All Die A Little Inside
Bubba Watson just won the 2012 Masters. Let's celebrate with this wonderful video (made for charity!), originally published June 14, 2011....

The Maloofs Claim They Are "100 Percent Committed" To Sacramento
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Maloofs are lying, of course....

Why The Deal To Keep The Kings In Sacramento May Be Collapsing
"Elation now" crowed the Sacramento Bee when the Maloof Brothers, David Stern, and Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson emerged from lockdown negotations with a plan to build a new arena and keep the Kings from moving to Anaheim. The plan was a good one, as far as publically funded stadiums go: the team a...

Memphis's GM Got The Idea To Sign Gilbert Arenas From A Blog Post
Memphis GM Chris Wallace said on the air that the idea to add Agent Zero came to him after being handed (a paper copy of?) this post on 3 Shades Of Blue, pushing Arenas as a veteran postseason presence. The reasoning? He's young, he's a good guy, fans love him, and most importantly, he's said it wou...

Jawanza Poland's Play-In Game Tip Slam Was Final Four Quality
Jawanza Poland's USF team is making as much a case to warrant their inclusion in the NCAA tournament as they are for the committee being completely out of their minds when offering a bid to Cal. It's been a thorough thrashing all game, and there's no better example of USF's dominance than Poland'...

The U.S. Women's Open Of Bowling Will Be Held Outdoors, In The Least Magical Place On Earth
What you're looking at is an artist's conception of the U.S. Women's Open, which will follow in the footsteps of the NHL's Winter Classic and the NCAA's aircraft carrier game by being held outside, under the desert sun, in downtown Reno, Nevada. I can't think of a better gift for your worst enemy....

FBI Docs: How George Steinbrenner Helped Kill Off Baseball's Last Real Commissioner
On July 30, 1990, MLB commissioner Fay Vincent "banned" George Steinbrenner from baseball and brought a close to one of the more sordid chapters in the sport's history. Steinbrenner had paid $40,000 to Howie Spira, a Bronx gambler with mafia ties, for dirt on Yankees outfielder Dave Winfield, with w...

Transcripts From The Steinbrenner-Vincent Hearing
On July 5-6, 1990, George Steinbrenner appeared before MLB commissioner Fay Vincent to discuss his association with Bronx gambler Howie Spira, who helped Steinbrenner dig up dirt on Yankee outfielder Dave Winfield. MLB later made a transcript of the hearing public. We've re-transcribed excerpts belo...

FBI Docs: The Story Of The 6-Foot-8 Redneck Ex-Con Who Terrorized George Steinbrenner With Jet Skis
Ah, Tampa. The balmy breeze. The sandy white beaches of acceptable granularity. The lingering fury of the most dyspeptic owner in baseball history. I speak, of course, of George Steinbrenner. Welcome back for another edition of "The Boss Files," our document-driven retrospective of Steinbrenner's li...

Barry Larkin Will Make The Hall Of Fame, According To "Exit Poll"
The 2012 Baseball Hall of Fame inductees will be announced at 3 p.m. Eastern. But there's no need to wait for the official numbers to be announced, as more than a hundred BBWAA voters have already published and defended their ballots. This indispensable spreadsheet collecting all the ballots made pu...

FBI Docs: How George Steinbrenner Made An Ass Of The FBI Director
The year was 1989. A group of luminaries had gathered to schmooze aboard the USS Intrepid, the World War II-era aircraft carrier on the west side of Manhattan. Among them: Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and then-FBI director William Sessions. The two men couldn't have been more dissimilar. Steinb...

At The Winter Classic, A New Year Belongs To Gary Bettman
PHILADELPHIA—These are supposed to be the treasured memories of the NHL's Winter Classic: Star-crossed Brayden Schenn's first career goal. Mike Rupp's mocking Jagr salute after his first score. Henrik Lundqvist stoning a penalty shot for the game. But they're transient memories, already fading....

Most Of ESPN SportsNation Thinks NFC QB Matthew Stafford Is The AFC's Biggest Pro Bowl Snub (UPDATED)
For more information, the ESPN SportsNation poll results are available via this link until someone — anyone — in Bristol, Conn. realizes that the Detroit Lions are, in fact, an NFC team....

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
As in past years, the Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. ...

FBI Docs: The Sad Story Of The FBI Agent Who Was Ordered To Unclog George Steinbrenner's Toilet
On Thursday, we described the FBI's internal investigation into Steinbrenner's curiously close relationship with the bureau's Tampa field office. We will now commence with the presentation of amusements and oddities found in the nearly 700 pages of new Steinbrenner records the FBI turned over to us....

FBI Docs: George Steinbrenner Thought The FBI Was The "Nearest Thing To Perfection"
When we published my October profile of Howie Spira, the gambler who tangled with George Steinbrenner and wound up in prison, I knew the story wasn't over. In the course of my reporting, I'd submitted a few Freedom of Information Act requests to the FBI. These things can take a while for the federal...

How A Senior League Hockey Fight Ended With One Player Pooping In An Opponent's Glove
Earlier today, the most intriguing athlete bio in the history of athlete bios made the rounds. Zung Nguyen, a 37-year old defenseman for a Boston-area men's hockey league, became an instant legend for this single sentence:...

Dolphins Fan Gets Brutally Knocked Out In The Sun Life Stadium Parking Lot (Video) (Updated)
The sucker punch that dropped a Dolphins fan in the parking lot after Sunday's game vs. the Eagles is so brutal that the meathead who threw it should do some time. The sound of head hitting parking lot is chilling. The louder sound of the initial contact may be worse. Hearkens back to the near-dea...