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I’ll Wear Shorts If I Goddamn Want To
Memorial Day weekend is coming to mark the start of summer, and once again I find myself confronted with assholes all over the place telling me I can't wear shorts. First there's designer Tom Ford:...
The Kim Kardashian Effect: Advanced Stats Show Why Kris Humphries Put A Ring On It
Nets forward Kris Humphries put up great numbers in the seventh season of his NBA career, his first as Kim Kardashian's beau. The couple announced their engagement (with a disturbing description of an "intimate family celebration" involving horses), and while there are no shortage of possible motive...
Revisiting The Great LeBron James Cocksucker Debate
here's a decent chance that at some point in the past 24 hours — perhaps when he did a little shimmy on the floor after drawing a late offensive foul, or when he began yapping demonstratively at the Less Than Zero extras in the stands, or when he passive-aggressively referred to Derrick Rose as "MVP...
LeBron James Is Friends With Drake. Of Course He Is.
Drake, the child star-turned-hashtag-rapper who would have you believe that his last name is Ever and his first name is Greatest, has been sitting courtside at a lot of Miami Heat games this postseason. This is partly because he is rich and lives in Miami, and thus needs to be photographed doing ric...
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part IV: Cooke And Bligle Jim Escape To The Potomac
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes on a crab puff at a cocktail party. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna CX.")...
Incredible Video Of A Tornado Chasing A Storm Chaser
David Payne of KFOR in Oklahoma City has been driving towards tornadoes for the better part of two decades. But last night, one changed direction and came down right on top of him....
Barry Bonds Will Pay To Send Beaten Giants Fan's Kids To College
This is actually great: Barry Bonds, the star of Bob Costas's nightmares, will provide scholarships for Bryan Stow's two grade-school-age children. Stow was brutally beaten at Dodger Stadium in March for wearing a Giants jersey. His condition is slowly improving, and police recently arrested a suspe...
The Deadspin Guide To The New ESPN Book
The new ESPN oral history, Those Guys Have all the Fun, is now available in stores. We've been having some fun with the book in recent days. Mixed in with our usual sober analysis of satellite transponder rights and ESPN's dual-revenue-stream model, we've also brought you many tales of ESPN people s...
All The Unkind Things Bill Simmons Said About His Colleagues In The ESPN Book
One of the most interesting characters to emerge from the ESPN book is the formerly inscrutable Bill Simmons, if only because we've never heard him be so (openly) self-aware before. He again whips out the big swinging dick in some more excerpts....
Tortured Analogy Leads Tiki Barber To Declare Himself A "Reverse Anne Frank"
The Tiki Barber image rehab tour kicks off in earnest (remember, he's planning to play again) with a big Sports Illustrated profile dropping tomorrow. In it, he tells a story of the time he went into hiding in the attic of his agent, Mark Lepselter....
This Quote Is Why Chris Berman Remains A Vile Piece Of Shit
I haven't been able to peruse the new ESPN book yet, as Daulerio and the others have, but I was struck dumb by a quote from the book that was excerpted by Richard Deitsch over at SI.com. This is what Berman said in regard to the NFL forcing the network to cancel its Playmakers series:...
After Poker Seizures, Justice Department Comes For Online Sportsbooks
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....
Admiring Novak Djokovic's Last 40 Match Points
Novak Djokovic has won 38 straight tennis matches in the 2011 season, and he hasn't lost in 40 outings, dating back to November's Davis Cup. His dominance has been nearly absolute; in seven months, he's dropped just eight sets, and that includes seven wins against either Rafael Nadal or Roger Fede...
An In-Depth Examination Of Dad Strength
I was driving to a Metro stop yesterday when I saw a car up ahead that was about to merge into traffic from bus stop lane. And sometimes, you can tell well in advance that the driver about to merge into traffic is a fucking idiot who won't bother looking to see if another car is there. You get that ...
MLB Will Probably Ask Us To Remove That George W. Bush Foul Ball Video, So Here's A Shitty Drawing I Made
You can watch it here, for now, but I think my drawing better conveys the emotional truth of the moment. Hope you like it....
Secret Service Can't Protect George W. Bush From Foul Ball
They'll take a bullet for the former president, but they can't save him from a lazy foul pop into the box seats in Arlington. Neither could A.J. Pierzynski:...
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: “Macho Man” Randy Savage
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: "Macho Man" Randy Savage, who died in a car accident Friday....
Meet The Blackjack Superhero Who Took Atlantic City For $15 Million
Two weeks ago, we learned about the gambling ace who saddled the Tropicana Casino and Resort with a record $5.8 million loss at the blackjack tables in April. There was much speculation about his identity. Now, there is an answer. The Press of Atlantic City scored an interview with the gambler, an O...
Sometimes, Tom Brady Makes It Too Easy To Have A Tom Brady Caption Contest
Torn from the Just Jared "Gisele Bundchen: Bikini Pooltime with Tom Brady!" headlines comes this wonderful shot of the New England Patriots quarterback totally enjoying the pool slide at a Mexican resort....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Miss Elizabeth (Deadspin Classic)
"Macho Man" Randy Savage was killed today in a car accident. Last year, our pro wrestling correspondent paid tribute to Savage's manager and first wife, Miss Elizabeth. She died in 2003 of an overdose at the home of her boyfriend, Lex Luger....