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Stop Your Judgmental Infield Chatter While I Handle The Pill, Softball Pitcher Pleads
Here's another overwrought email sent to a company softball team wherein one rookie pitcher had himself a tough outing. For some reason this young fireballer also ended up in a dugout scrap with one of his teammates who started heckling about his performance. Then, of course, he felt compelled to wr...

How Not To Get Caught Cheating
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Rafael Nadal 0, His Underwear 1
Reporting that Rafael Nadal won a match on a clay surface is a lot like reporting that the Mets lost a game, so we needed another angle on his 6-2, 6-2 win over Gael Monfils in the Barcelona Open quarterfinals today. Luckily, the cameras on hand for the match captured that angle for us. In the inc...

No One's Going To Baseball Games, But Here's Why MLB Isn't Concerned
Baseball Prospectus's Neil DeMause noticed recently, as had we and others, that something weird is going on with baseball attendance this season....

Here's Jon Gruden Saying Weird Shit To Future NFL QBs
One reason to bother watching SportsCenter the past few weeks — aside from watching legal baseball highlights, I guess — is the totally bizarre, always somehow informative "QB Camp" series the network has Jon Gruden hosting for a second year. While, like Gruden, we "don't believe half the [expleti...

The Time The KKK Politely Asked For A "Klan Day" At The Reds' Ballpark
These four letters procured by Deadspin's house MLB archivist, Pete Nash, show that the Ku Klux Klan wrote polite letters and were extremely generous about their flower boquets. At least that was the case in 1924. ...

One Ref's Fall Over A Ceremonial Carpet Is Another Ref's Fall Over The Same Ceremonial Carpet
We're not sure where this clip came from, as the Leafs missed out on the playoffs for the sixth straight year this season, but sometimes — like when two men whose job it is to be alert on ice fail to observe and avoid the same ceremonial carpet laid out in front of them, for example — context just...

Bill Plaschke Is Easily Distracted
Because every stupid thing in sports requires one to take sides, we're torn on this one. Do we agree with the guy who willingly puts his life on display on an E! reality show, then says it's not fair to talk about his personal life? Or do we agree with — gulp — Bill Plaschke? You can see our dilemma...

How To Free Yourself Of The Dreaded “Sketchy” Label
I got a letter for our Drunken Hookup Failures last week from a dude named Matt. Now, Matt's hookup fail was fairly boring and didn't make the cut, but there was something at the end of his story that gave me pause, and it was this sentence:...

HOLY SHIT MONSTER JELLYFISH
That's the lion's mane jellyfish, which lives in the ocean and can apparently devour cities whole. I had no fucking idea this existed. COMPLETELY CHANGES THE GAME. I'm never going in the ocean again. Ever. I'm afraid to even take a goddamn bath now, lest this thing ooze out of the pipes and eats my ...

Bad Beats: Oddsmakers Love The Heat, Because Everyone Else Hates Them
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....

MLB Won't Let Us Show You Travis Snider Breaking His Bat Over His Knee, So Here's A Fucking Drawing I Did Instead
Travis Snider struck out with the bases loaded in the sixth against the Yankees yesterday and Bo Jacksoned his bat in two. It was pretty cool, especially considering that Snider went on to win the game with a two-out double in the 10th. As you know, we can't show you the video, lest we step on MLB's...

High School Baseball Player Gets Awesomely Creative With His Slide At The Plate
Caleb Walker, a player for Tupelo High in Mississippi, rounded third with his team down a run last Thursday and decided he would score. Walker told WTVA that this play was "one of the greatest moments of my life" — and since our share of high school glory moments are nothing like this, we'll give ...

How These Two White Guys Wound Up In This Kendrick Perkins Family Photo
Like most white guys from suburban Boston, half-brothers Brian Johnson and Justin Tsouros had never hung out with an NBA player. So when they arrived at the condo in Waltham, Mass., one evening in the fall of 2007, they didn't quite know what to expect. The place was dark. The blinds were drawn. But...

Your Football Team Will Win 11, Maybe 12 Games Next Season
With the release of the NFL schedule, fans everywhere finally have the chance to see their team's 16-game slate, and work out probable final records. And yeah, look at those games; your team's going to the playoffs for sure....

British Soccer Announcer Makes Most British Goal Call Ever
Dejan Stankovic scored a beautiful goal for Inter Milan in their 1-0 win over Roma in the Coppa Italia semifinal yesterday, and the great Ray Hudson was there for Gol TV's call. Magisterial, indeed....

With Apologies To Jack Edwards, This Junior Hockey League Announcer Is The Homer To End All Homers
After reading our post about Jack Edwards's deliciously biased Bruins coverage, reader Kenn sent us this excellent clip from a junior hockey league in Texas. In it, the announcer completely loses his shit, tries to calm himself down, and then loses his shit all over again. It sounds like he's cove...

Is Batman REALLY A Superhero?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering whales, video games, superheroes and more....

Jack Edwards: Homer To End All Homers
Last night, NESN's Jack Edwards reminded us that he is still the ultimate homer of the hockey commentating world — hockey's Tommy Heinsohn, if you will. In Game 3 of the Bruins-Canadiens series, Edwards screamed at Montreal's Roman Hamrik to "GET UP!" after he tackled Michael Ryder to the ice. He ...

Help Us Subvert MLB Video: Submit Your Highlights To Become The Official Team Deadspin
We're truly inspired by how many of you are interested in mocking the MLB video policy by reenacting its highlights each week. We've heard from volunteers from T-ball teams, high school teams, plenty of "beer-drinking softball teams," and one from a guy who isn't "allowed within 200 yards of a schoo...