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MLB Won't Let Us Show You Video Of Justin Verlander's Amusing Balk, So Here's A Fucking Drawing I Did Instead
Justin Verlander had a weird little blooper against the A's on Saturday wherein he stepped off the rubber as if to throw to first but wound up going home anyway, nearly plunking David DeJesus in the process. It was funny. We'd show you the video, but if we did Major League Baseball would get its cri...
Jon Barry Can't Stop Giggling At Derrick Rose
Dan Shulman and Jon Barry tried their damndest to properly announce the Bulls-Pacers game on Saturday, but Derrick Rose made it a difficult task. We can't really blame them. Rose had 39 points in Chicago's 104-99 win, and his baskets were, throughout, brilliant. Brilliant enough to make Barry gigg...
Josh Elliott Reluctantly Submits To An Interview With Us Before His Last Day At ESPN
Some of you may know Josh Elliott as the soon-to-be former co-anchor of ESPN's morning "SportsCenter". Some of you may not know him at all. If you were not familiar with his work along side Hannah Storm, you missed out. We had no idea he read our site. We really appreciate him taking the time on his...
NBA Selects Man Who Relocated The Sonics And Lied About It To Head Relocation Committee
It gets worse for Sacramento. David Stern has appointed Clay Bennett, second-most hated man of Seattle and 2008 Oklahoman of the Year, to lead its Relocation Committee. The deadline for the Kings decision has also been extended to May 2....
The Greatest Facebook Fail Ever
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
12 Of The Year's Punchiest Hockey Fights, Evaluated By A Boxing Writer
As far as I can tell, the main difference between boxing and hockey fights is that during a hockey fight, you're standing on ice. And sliding all over the place. Therefore it becomes important to hold your opponents in place with one hand to stabilize them before you can hit them. Other than that,...
If You Throw An Octopus On The Ice in Detroit You Could Be Fined $500 And Ejected (UPDATE: Statements from Red Wings, Police)
Tommy B. got home from last night's Detroit/Phoenix game but despite a Game One victory, he was sad. Sad because he had a run-in with Johnny Law. This, because he threw an octopus on the ice....
Surly Flag Football Coach Needs Team To Learn How To "Grab A Fucking Flag And Pull It Off." STAT
I can't get enough of the unhinged fuckery that exists in adult recreational sports. Like this flag football coach, who has had it with his team's uninspired performances right before the playoffs. That can't happen if you play for this coach (of flag football) if you want to be champions (of flag ...
The Sultan Of Twat: Babe Ruth's Swinging First Few Years With The Yankees
The following is excerpted from Weintraub's The House That Ruth Built, about Babe Ruth, the Yankees, and the 1923 baseball season....
Here’s Part Two Of Our (Nearly) Exhaustive Video Compilation Of Blake Griffin Dunks
Just before the All-Star break, we provided you with a video compilation of Blake Griffin posterizing from the first half of his rookie year. In the second half of the season, it seemed like we'd all grown accustomed to what Griffin's capable of doing when he elevates towards a basketball hoop. It...
Wally Backman Verbally Assaults His Team, Part 158
Wally's back, thanks to the creators of Playing For Peanuts, who sent over this clip of the former Mets player (then manager of the South Georgia Peanuts, currently manager of the Binghamton Mets) sharing his thoughts with his team after a loss. One thing we've certainly learned this week: Wally l...
A Quintessential Night In An American Hospital
Going to the hospital sucks. Aggressively. Hospitals know this, of course. But they have no interest in NOT sucking because if going to the hospital were pleasant and breezy, then everyone would go and the staff would be overloaded and have little or no time to fuck each other in the laundry room. E...
News Reports That Subtly Point Out That Al Davis Is Not In Fact "Doing Fine": A Gallery
There were unsubstantiated reports this week that Raiders owner Al Davis was in declining health and had been in the hospital. The Raiders denied this....
The Stupid Barry Bonds Prosecution, In A Stupid Nutshell
As you all know, Barry Bonds was convicted yesterday on a single count of rambling in the first degree. (No, seriously. Seven years of this shit, and that's what they got him on — evading a question he ultimately answered. Aggravated incoherence. A felony charge of Not Being Freaking Pericles in the...
Wife Of Phillies Reliever Forgets Comments Like These Will Not Go Over Well In Philadelphia (UPDATE)
Philadelphia fans are (sometimes) a little overzealous and rude. We all know this. They've thrown up on Santa Claus while he was trying to help Michael Irvin off the field after he was temporarily paralyzed by a tossed Duracell. But it should be known by now, especially by the players who still pla...
The Truth About Race, Religion, And The Honor Code At BYU
Over the past month, BYU has been held up as a symbol of all that is decent in college sports for its unsparing treatment of Brandon Davies, the African-American basketball player who violated the school's honor code by reportedly having sex with his girlfriend. Davies was suspended shortly before t...
Dueling Mullets Welcome You To Day One Of The NHL Playoffs
Your morning roundup for April 13, the day Justin Bieber reminded us that the Middle East is still fucked up....
Comatose Giants Fan Shouldn't Have Been Wearing A Giants Jersey, Writes Dumbass
Bryan Stow is the 42-year-old Giants fan who was beaten outside Dodger Stadium and who now lies in a medically induced coma. Stow was wearing a Giants jersey at the time of the attack. I'll let John Steigerwald, a columnist for the Observer-Reporter in Washington, Pa., and a former television anch...
Ex-49ers Color Analyst Possibly Fired For Raunchy Labia-Lovin' Talk (With NSFW Audio)
Gary Plummer was the 49ers color analyst on KNBR for the past 13 seasons until it was recently announced that he would be replaced by another ex-Niner, Eric Davis. The reasons for his departure were vague. The director of broadcasting for the Niners, Bob Sargent, insists that Plummer wasn't fired ...
Wally Backman Verbally Assaults An Umpire, Part 79
Former major leaguer Willy Backman knows how to curse in an umpire's face. He's extraordinarily well-versed in the F-bomb. Backman was recently hired as the manager for the AA Binghamton Mets, but a clip from a documentary series about independent minor league baseball called "Playing for Peanuts"...