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Last Night's Winner: Not This Guy
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Unlike this Phillies fan, who on Wednesday at Citizens Bank Park allegedly jammed his fingers down his throat and vomited on an 11-year-old girl and her father....

Live Chat With Sam Lipsyte
Sam's down in the comments, awaiting both your observations on America's sham meritocracy and your penis humor. Go say hi. Don't forget to read the excerpt and buy the book....

Excerpt From <em>The Ask</em>: "... And I Pictured Titboning Vargina In A Rare Books Room"
Below is the first chapter of The Ask, by Sam Lipsyte, our funniest and foremost chronicler of fuck-up Americana. Read it and come back at 3 p.m. for a live chat with the author in a followup post....

Kenyon Martin Locker Room Eruption Versus Christian Bale On Set Meltdown
Kenyon Martin's temper tantrum in the aftermath of Popcorn-In-Car-Gate has landed. It's pretty good, but we wanted to add a little zest. So, after firing up some Danger Mouse, we put this together (NSFW language)....

Tiger's New Lady, Raychel Coudriet, In Photos. Maybe.
According to this website, these may be photos of Tiger's latest young lassie to come forward. Also, The Post has fun texts from Tiger to her: "Are you touching yourself? I want to fuck you."...

Tiger Woods Also Made Sweet, Sweet Love To His Winsome 21-Year-Old Neighbor, National Enquirer Says
I assume this wasn't the news Tiger received via SMS yesterday. And now there's a race to see who can find a Facebook photo of young Raychel Coudriet the fastest. We'll update when that happens.[Radaronline]...

Come Along For The Tweet Parade Then Stay Facebook Friends Forever
We understand that there are plenty of other places many of you enjoy wasting your time on besides here. So we've finally upgraded our once decrepit social media platforms and made them all shiny and new....

Go Read This Story About The Torment Of Sportswriter Mike Penner As Soon As Possible
Christopher Goffard of the LA Times appears to have pulled together the most honest account of the final years of former sportswriter Mike Penner's haunted life were like when he struggled to find his identity as Christine Daniels....

Erin Andrews And Her <em>Dancing With The Stars</em> Dude Are "Maybe" Dating
This is according to Maksim "Maks" Chmerkovskiy, who sarcastically told Bonnie Fuller's website last week that he and the Sideline Princess could be more than just reality show cha cha partners. They do seem cuddly....

<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Pretty Much Dead, Joe Buck Says
Fox's Joe Buck seems convinced "Joe Buck Live" will be canceled, but HBO still hasn't made it official. HBO reps went the "no comment" route when we asked about the show's status. Joe Buck sent us these parting thoughts:...

This Is Your Monday Night Football Open Thread: Bears. Vikings. Go.
Will Brett Favre do something magical or devolve into the rickety old man of Decembers past? Will Jay Cutler serve up some Windy City Heat? Find a # that makes you feel slimmer. #MNFBears, #MNFVikings, #MNFinmypants, etc....

Excavating Bill Simmons: NY Mag Writers Take On That Big Ol' Book Of Basketball
Jonathan Lethem; Sam Anderson; Sherman Alexie; Bethlehem Shoals. Oh, and Tommy Craggs, who takes off his angry pants for a little bit but manages to somehow squeeze in a reference to Astral Weeks. [NYmag]...

BREAKING: Barry Bonds Doesn't Play Baseball Anymore
A shocking Deadspin investigation has revealed that despite frequent mentions in the national media and his ubiquitous presence in any discussion about baseball and its steroid policies, Barry Bonds is not actually a Major League Baseball player anymore....

"Out Of Bounds" Enters The Fray
Former Deadspin editor Rick Chandler captains a new sports blogatorium for NBC Sports. Stop by often and show your support. [Out Of Bounds]...

You Are Not The Cosmos: A Review Of Bill Simmons's <em>Book Of Basketball</em>
You've read Will Leitch's essay about the Sports Guy. Now here's Charles P. Pierce, sportswriter and author, with a somewhat different take. UPDATE: A year later, Simmons responded to this review by scrubbing two mentions of Pierce from the paperback edition. More here....

So, You Want Some Nasty Injuries With Your Hockey? I Got Your Nasty Injuries For Ya
The esteemed Wysh a/k/a Puck Daddy has a rundown of the Top 10 Most Brutal NHL Injuries of the Last Decade. Let's have a look-see, shall we? (Clint Malarchuk figurine sold separately)...

Deleted Scenes From The Sports Guy Book Tour
Bill Simmons' book tour continues apace (NY Times #1 bestseller!) and we also continue to get dispatches from fans of overweight literature. Enjoy these tales of long lines, blurry photographs, and some guy who likes autographed meat....

Malcolm Gladwell Demands Bill Simmons Be An NBA GM
Bill Simmons' new doorstop of a book arrives in stores tomorrow. In a canny move, he had Malcolm Gladwell pen the foreword. And what does Fry Guy do in that foreword?...

The Criminal Complaint Against Michael David Barrett, Alleged Erin Andrews Peeper
Here's the FBI's case against Michael David Barrett, aka Mark Bennett, who was arrested Friday at O'Hare Airport and charged with interstate stalking for allegedly taping Erin Andrews through a modified peephole. It's like a masturbator's remake of The Conversation....

Please Help Weed Against Speed Recover From Hot Clicks
Our loyal commenter Weed Against Speed's blog Sportress of Blogitude was linked on Extra Mustard today. The fire hose of traffic warped his server. He's looking for assistance on what to do. Email him or comment at him with suggestions....