fifa Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The obliviousness of unfathomable wealth
It’s here that the Qatari rulers and FIFA would expect me to simply write about the quarterfinals of the World Cup that start today. And they are mouthwatering, in a vacuum of just soccer. All eight teams come in with a great story. Whether it’s Brazil not only trying to collect their sixth trophy b...
World Cup 2022 Daily Diary: Day 17 - Quarterfinals are set
Oh we got narratives! New ones! Old ones! Tired ones! Exciting ones! If you can find better narratives than here…fuck it!...
Lotta goals in the desert - World Cup Daily Diary: Day 12
Japan, Germany, and Belgium all accomplished the absurd in different ways today. And that’s before we even get to Morocco winning their group. Let’s kick this pig!...
Lotta goals in the desert - World Cup Daily Diary: Day 9
Game of the day: Serbia 3 - 3 Cameroon...
Lotta goals in the desert - World Cup Daily Diary: Day 8
There may have been more exciting games or more dramatic endings in this tournament, but there hasn’t been one with more intrigue combined with a higher quality of play than this one. Argentina was staring at the abyss, much like Germany was today, giving the game something of a snuff-film air, and ...
Did Qatar even want the World Cup?
The small Middle Eastern country — known for its poor human rights record — is the World Cup host, but did Qatar actually WANT it to begin with? Whichever government officials were responsible for bringing the world’s biggest sporting event to their country must’ve wanted it enough to take the initi...
World Cup Daily Diary Day 4 — Germany are who we thought they were
Game of the day: Japan 2 - Germany 1 ...
The biggest World Cup upsets of all time
As Saudi Arabia shocked the globe by defeating Lionel Messi and World Cup favorites Argentina on Tuesday, it provided the most recent example of a tremendous upset victory at the quadrennial showcase. Argentina was No. 3 in the FIFA rankings and Saudi Arabia was the second-lowest ranked team to play...
Lotta goals in the desert — World Cup Diary Day 2: Oh right, this isn’t fun
After eight years you forget what it’s like in the deep end of the pool, and all the things you imagined since the USMNT qualified actually play out on the field. And the feeling that you could kiss anyone in front of you swinging wildly to being able to take a human life in an instant. No one watch...
World sporting events are becoming a different kind of guilty pleasure
While this World Cup is unlike any other due to the start time and Middle East location, there is a recent world competition that comes to mind. Think about it. Climate unfit to host the event, haphazard accommodations, stories of government overreach, and sportswashing. That sounds like the Beijing...
World Cup 2022 — Group H preview: Yes, Portugal can win this and no, it won’t be pleasant if they do
Let’s get the main reason out of the way. No one outside of Portugal wants to see giant pain in the ass, huffing his own farts, twice-accused rapist Cristiano Ronaldo — who has denied the allegations — hoist the trophy. It was bad enough in 2016 when he left the final injured that he made sure every...
Qatar definitely understands how this whole 'sports media' thing works
We’re less than a week away from the opening ceremonies for the World Cup (which, by the way, still don’t have an announced performer, after being turned down by Rod Stewart, Dua Lipa, and now Shakira), and things in Doha are progressing just about as well as expected when you hold a World Cup in a ...
World Cup 2022 Preview — Group F: Old man take a look at my defense, I’m a lot like you
“BELGIUM’S LAST CHANCE!” You’ve heard or seen this already. They are Europe’s big waste of the last decade. There has been no bigger collection of talent than what Belgium has sported for the last four major tournaments, and a 3rd place in Russia is all they’ve had to show for it. Either this is whe...
Cristiano Ronaldo goes to Kevin Durant’s school
You’d be severely challenged to come up with a duo more up their own ass than Cristiano Ronaldo and Piers Morgan, so it was kind of perfect and perfectly puke-worthy that Ronaldo carefully chose Morgan for his tactical masterplan to get booted out of Manchester as soon as possible. It was right as t...
France may be without their spine at the World Cup, and they won’t be alone
Crowbarring a World Cup into the middle of the club season in winter was always a dumb idea, probably equal to the idea that the tournament ever could have been held in the summer in Qatar, which is what the country and FIFA were originally selling when they awarded it to Qatar (and it was literally...
The USWNT winning their World Cup group would go a long way
It shouldn’t matter which team completes Group E of the 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup. Anything less than a first-place finish in the quartet for the United States women’s national team will be a tremendous disappointment. It doesn’t matter that fellow global power the Netherlands is also in the group...
Wouldn’t you know it, Cristiano Ronaldo is being a whiny turd again
If one were interested in fairness when it comes to Cristiano Ronaldo — and I’m not for a host of reasons, including the big glaring one (actually two) — one would have to concede that being a professional athlete requires an absurd amount of defiance. At some point in our childhood, we’re all told ...
Rafael Leão is carrying AC Milan, and should punt Cristiano Ronaldo off of Portugal
In a lot of ways, AC Milan mirrors Serie A overall. They’re incredibly fun, and were able to take advantage of Juventus’s slide into the abyss and a blip from Inter to win the Scudetto last year. But how good they actually are, much like the league as a whole, is hard to pin down. Considering that t...
Which USMNT players punched their ticket to Qatar?
The United States men’s national team has zero minutes of game time remaining before it lines up against Wales at the FIFA World Cup, the country’s first contest on soccer’s biggest showcase in eight years. Tuesday’s scoreless draw against Saudi Arabia gave us one final look at the Yanks before head...