fighting Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stanford Lineman Does Not Like Notre Dame
About the only thing that would make Saturday's Stanford-Notre Dame football game actually compelling is if Charlie Weis and the Stanford Tree fought at midfield with rakes and blowtorches. But knowing that would never happen (the Tree is usually soaked with alcohol and cannot be near open flame), C...
The Ron Zook Water Skiing Zapruder Film
So The Big Ten Network has this reality show about the Illinois football team called "The Journey." Even though this is a "Hard Knocks" type series — albeit one with decidedly worse production values and dramatically more nondescript players — about my alma mater's football team, I have never seen ...
College Football Previews: #19 Illinois
You know what my favorite part about college football is? It's that there are so few games — some teams only play 11. 11! — that you can legitimately go through and predict every game that every team in Division I-A (or whatever the hell it's called) plays. It doesn't even take that much time! You ...
He Calls This Move 'The Spanish Prostate Exam'
For those considering a career in bullfighting, please feel free to use this as your screensaver. One of Spain's big shot matadors was gored not once, but twice; including this most excellent shot by a bull who obviously knows what he's doing. And so Jose "The Balls" Thomas is forced to choose a new...
Annoying Superhuman Lawyer-To-Be Makes Life More Difficult For The Rest Of Us
This weekend, we went to a Derby Day party and a friend's 30th birthday, ate way too much food and kind of spent our Sunday afternoon on the couch watching old episodes of "Lost" and trying to recuperate. (We're still not quite there yet, and it's Tuesday.) Weekends like that are why people like Dan...
A USC Football Player Got A Low Test Score? What?
"If your Wonderlic score is lower than the age of consent in your state, you may be a redneck." I'm not all that convinced that IQ testing is all that relevant when it comes to drafting NFL quarterbacks, but I will say this: If I needed a partner to diffuse a bomb, I'd pick LSU Louisville quarterbac...
It's Still Not As Dangerous As A Typical Eagles Game
Please bear with me if you've seen this before; any time I see something this large and angry go into the stands that isn't Ron Artest, I must post it. Three things of note here: 1. Love the three guys sitting under the little overhang in the middle there, safe from harm in the stadium's finest lux...
NCAA Pants Party: Notre Dame Vs. George Mason
Notre Dame Fighting Irish (24-7) vs. George Mason Patriots (23-10) When: Thursday, 9:40 p.m. Where: Denver...
Illinois: Now Part Of This Complete Breakfast
It baffles me as to how Illinois could have missed out on the NCAA Tournament, now that we know the existence of the Great Illinois-Shaped Corn Flake. A girl in Virginia noticed the flake it in her morning cereal and immediately recognized it as one of the 50 states, and then slapped it onto the e-B...
The Illini's Ridiculous, Plodding "Run"
Realize that we have seen our Illini do this before. In 1999, an 11th-seeded Illini team rode the hot hand of Cory Bradford to an amazing tourney championship game run, before collapsing, exhausted, to Michigan State (who eventually made the Final Four). That run was thrilling, breathtaking; it was...
Notre Dame Fighting Irish
1. Thank God We Don't Need a Shirt Solidarity Day. It is no secret that last fall Notre Dame football was pretty dismal. After an 0-3 start, I received the following email from Student Government:...
Live Blogs You'll Gleefully Skip: Illinois-Penn State
We know, we know: Nobody cares about a stupid liveblog of a pointless Big Ten tournament first round game. We're fully aware. As we mentioned yesterday, it's just, like, practice or something....
Saying Goodbye To These Awful (And Unlucky) Illini
As part of our preparations for the lunacy that lands on our sports radars this Sunday, we've been digging around the irreplaceable Basketball Prospectus, trying to find those odd little tidbits on Oral Roberts and Siena. And we discovered something kind of amazing and oddly satisfying....
Yeah, Well, Kelvin Sampson's Still A Jerk
We couldn't possibly agree more with legendary Illini basketball reporter Mark Tupper, who said, "at no time did I think Illinois was going to win that very exciting, very emotional basketball game with Indiana." It was exciting, and we had hope, and we leapt across the room with Jeffrey Jordan hit ...
This Should Cause The Mets No PR Problems Whatsoever
Pitchers and catchers haven't even begun packing, but the first sensational storyline of spring training is already here. Pedro Martinez: Cock Fighter! (As first reported by Home Run Derby.) PETA officials are sharpening their talons and animal activists are massing at the Florida border as we speak...
Let Us Rid Ourselves Of The Cockfighting PED Menace
We don't ask much of our cockfighting, but we do ask that it be pure. We expect the two valiant competitors to give it their absolutely best, at the highest level, on an even playing field. We have to be able to trust our sacred sport of cockfighting; there is, after all, history and tradition to wo...
Kentucky Fans Are Having Anger Displacement Issues
In the "holy cow, fans can be scary" file, the frustrated fans at Kentucky, suffering through a 9-9 season, have taken a lot of their ire out on recent transfer (to Illinois! Woo!) Alex Legion. (He of the soothsaying mother.)...