fights Page 69 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

BOOOOOOOBS!-Lady Is Now Auctioning Off Flashing Shirt, Stupid Hat.
You know, cuz she's famoso because of this. In case you missed what this chica is yapping about, you can find her hooter-happy brand of hooliganism right here. (Bowler derby tip to JT's Mustard Factory.) [NSFW]...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!!!!!!
Courtesy of Jimmy Traina's XXX-tra Mustard Twitter page. [NSFWNSFWNSFW]...

Lance Broadway and Gerald Laird Would Make An Excellent Battery
Major league journeymen sure are punchy this offseason. Former White Sox/Met and current Blue Jay minor leaguer Lance Broadway is being sued for rearranging a man's face at a New Year's Eve party in Dallas. While shirtless, of course....

What Lawyers Sound Like When They Talk About Greg Oden's Dong
Yesterday we received a friendly letter from BDA requesting we remove the teeny, tiny picture of Greg Oden's not-so-teeny-tiny penis. We did not oblige. Below, you'll find the charming back-and-forth between Gawker legal pit bull, Gaby Darbyshire, and Oden's representation....

Russian 9-Year-Olds Are All Goons
An under-10 game ends in a bench-clearing brawl between the Northern Star and the Penguins (9-year-old Sidney Crosby probably had someone do his fighting for him). Per the YouTube description: "Truly a rare record the NHL not always witness."...

It's Winter, So That Means Many Publications Will Rank Ladies Based On Physical Attributes
Like AskMen.com, which has released its annual "Top 99 Women" gallery. Find out which starlets campaigned for Obama (many), who has designed a tin condom and which semi-famous girl started her career as a Sports By Brooks gal. [AskMen.com]...

That's Got To Be At Least A Yellow Card
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Last Night's Winner: Junior Gotti
In sportslife, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like (alleged!!) mobster John Gotti III, who is so good at not getting convicted that federal prosecutors have given up trying. He's on fire!...

Russian Hockey League Is Gonna Need A Bigger Penalty Box
A KHL game was canceled after 3:49 of the first period when a brawl resulted in 691 penalty minutes and not enough players left to finish the game. Also: a Jaromir Jagr sighting! [RussianHockeyFans/Fanhouse]...

You Can Barely Contain The Deadspin Mailbag
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering pants, nail clippings, drinking alone, and bank robbing....

Philadelphia: Home Of Rotten Fans, Underachieving Teams And Dick Towels
I'm not sure what the context of the poor woman doing the "news" is for sure, but it appears the usual post-mortem at Chickie's and Pete's where they get crowd reactions from drunk people about the Eagles game....

Indecisive Hurdler Discovers Breast Implants Don't Improve Leaping Ability
Australia's Jana Rawlinson was not happy with her body's natural curves, so like a lot of women, she decided to get breast implants. Then she remembered that she was an Olympic-caliber hurdler and silicon is heavier than air....

Overgrown Monster Man And Peppy She-Child Make Beautiful Music
Wladimir Klitschko and Hayden Panettiere, besides exploding my spellchecker, have been photographed canoodling (this is a word that only applies to celebrity couples). Do with this news what you will. [Pacific Coast News]...

For Those Girls About To Mosh, We Salute You
Just cuz. I've been mesmerized by this all day. [YouTube]...

Bengals Cheerleader Files Suit Against The Dirty.com Over Horrid STD Rumor
The woman, identified as "Sarah J" in The Dirty's post and "Jane Doe" in the lawsuit, claims the website libeled her when they published an email suggesting her ex-boyfriend was a disease-riddled scuzzbot who probably infected her with something scabby....

Missouri Basketball Players Say Cheerleader Beatdown Was Self-Defense
Twist! The two Lady Tiger hoops players accused of roughing up a male cheerleader say that they did get physical with him, but only after he G-O-T A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E with their other female friend....

Missouri Basketball Players (Who Are Women) Beat Up Cheerleader (Who Isn't)
Much like their Kansas brethren, Missouri's athletic department is being torn asunder by intra-sports team strife. Only it's not the teams you usually expect, since we're talking about women's basketball and cheerleading. These kids do not compromise....

You Don't Need Gonads To Be A Goon
And here's another heartwarming girls-in-sports story. Pennsylvania high school hockey gives us the rare mixed-gender brawl, spurred by two boys dropping the gloves against one feisty little lady. (Or in the unfortunate parlance of the YouTube poster, "tagteaming" her.)...

The Filipino Ron Artest Suspended One Year For Slugging Fan
Wynne "Tiny" Arboleda of the Philippine Basketball Association has been suspended for the entire 2009-10 season after he went all Daniel Plainview on a fan during a game. At least he'll have more time to work on his rap album....

New Mexico Coach Suspended For Punching Assistant
Head football coach Mike Locksley has been suspended eight days without pay for attacking a former assistant earlier this season. Sadly, this may actually help the Lobos' season since they are currently 0-6....