fin Page 171 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Everybody Pile On D.J. Mbenga
First, Rudy Gay called him "ugly", then Reggie Miller revealed on the Dan Patrick show his text to Barkley after Lakers victory: "can you believe that DJ Mbenga and Adam Morrison have rings?"...

Laker Riots Go Off Without A Hitch
Store fronts smashed? Check. Car windows stomped on? Done. Shoe store looted? You betcha. Trash cans thrown at cops? Absolutely. It's not an official championship until your downtown gets roughed up a little bit, am I right, Los Angeles?...

And Here's The Best Commentary You'll See About The Lakers' Championship Anywhere
Kobe wins. Everything....

Depressed Urban Zone Saved By Valiant Sports Team
All of Pittsburgh's troubles as a shrunken post-war manufacturing center are over now that the city has its third Stanley Cup championship and its second major sports title this year. Detroit, sadly, will be boarded up and shipped to Borneo....

NHL Season Just Might End Tonight
Here we are. Game 7. Should I spend the next few paragraphs trying to regurgitate as many clichés as I can about the finality of the ultimate do-or-die scenario or just show you a picture of Greg Ostertag on skates?...

Awesome Boyfriend Ties Kids Up In Garage So He Can Enjoy The Game In Peace
Dilemma: You want to see the big game, but your girlfriend wants you to babysit. You could listen to the game on radio—or you could tie the kids up, leave them in the garage, and hit the bar....

Watch Your Step, Boobsy
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Nicklas Lidstrom's Busted Ballsack And Other Tales Of NHL Woe
If Detroit captain Nicklas Lidstrom looked a little sluggish at times during this Stanley Cup Finals, he has a very, very, very good excuse. He suffered a "nearly catastrophic" testicle injury in the Conference Finals. Now how do you feel?...

NHL Did Not Rig The Stanley Cup Finals
Conspiracy theorists are apoplectic after learning that Red Wings' 2009 Stanley Cup Championship gear is already available for sale on the NHL website, but the cooler heads at Puck Daddy have already proven that the Penguins got the same treatment....

Brad Childress Is Full Of Crap
Brad Childress came out of hiding today to complain about all those unscrupulous reporters and their unnamed sources who make up lies about Brad Childress and create nothing but trouble. Trouble he could end in two seconds if he'd just pick up the phone....

What's The Deal With The Confetti?
Orlando prematurely celebrated their four-point win (after setting a record for field goal percentage) that still leaves them down a game in the NBA Finals. Way to pick your spots, guys. [Los Angeles Times]...

Today Everyone Is Finally Convinced Kobe Bryant Is One Of The NBA's Greatest Despite His Shaq-Filled, Jizz Bomb Past
The Lakers still need two more games to close out the Magic, but those people who never doubted Kobe's true greatness for most of his career are filing early to get a leg up on those who did....

Please Do Not Leave Your House During Game Six
So here we are again ... one year after Pittsburgh lost a tough Game 6 clincher at home to Detroit, we're right back where we started. Only you have to watch tonight's version on your home TV, you ingrates....

ESPN Now Enabling Lane Kiffin's Recruiting Violations
Stop me if you heard this one before: Lane Kiffin may have committed yet another recruiting violation. I know the man can't roll out of bed without doing something wrong, but does ESPN really need to be his facilitator?...

Football, The Layla Kiffin Way
Tennessee is hosting a football clinic designed and held exclusively for women, starring special guest speaker....Layla Kiffin. Dudes already contemplating discrimination lawsuits, cross-dressing options. [Clay Travis]...

Red Wings Show Their Age, Penguins Show Them The Door
For the first time in the Stanley Cup Finals, the Red Wings looked sad and old, while the younger, vitamin-eating Penguins skated circles around them to even the series. And none of us stayed up to watch "The Tonight Show."...

One Smirk At A Press Conference Is Worth A 1,000 Box Scores
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

What Are You Watching Tonight?
Game 4 (pivotal!) of the Stanley Cup Finals is tonight. So is Game 1 (crucial!) of the NBA Finals. Which one is more important to you and/or your bookie?...

Orlando Basketball For Dummies
The Orlando Sentinel is well aware that 80% of their city's population is amped about the Magic—but could not have given a crap about the NBA until six days ago. Hence their bandwagon-friendly primer for the very uninitiated....
