fin Page 178 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
If R. Kelly Should Be On Trial For Anything, It's Inspiring This
The MERKIN mercilessly turns out attention to this spoof of R. Kelly's "Ignition" honoring the Red Wings' Henrik Zetterberg. Does this mean he pees on girls, too? ...
From Cheerleader To Puck Bunny
NHL.com wises up, hires former Texans cheerleader to...something something cheerleader. [Japers' Rink]...
Bill Simmons Puts On His Defeatist Hat
Oftentimes, Boston sports fans cringe when people uphold former Boston Sports Guy and current L.A. resident Bill Simmons' ramblings as a representative of their thoughts as a whole. And that's even when he thinks Boston teams are doing well. Some of them are taking added umbrage with Simmons' most ...
Apparently, The Jennie Finchification Of Softball Is Under Way
So, has Jennie Finch completely transformed softball from a sport once overtaken by rampant lesbianism to one more appealing to bubbly straight girls ? It depends. You can talk to one person and they'll tell you about how half the people they knew on their college and high school softball team wore ...
For Your Viewing Pleasure
• 1:30 — NHL: Dallas Stars vs. Detroit Red Wings, Game 5. [NBC] • 2:00 — LPGA: Sybase Classick, Third Round. [ESPN2] • 2:00 — Horses: Preakness Special from Pimlico Race Course. [ESPN] • 3:00 — PGA: AT&T Classic, Third Round at TPC Sugarloaf. [CBS] • 3:30 — ABC: LA Sparks vs. Phoenix Mercury. [ABC] ...
Go Ozzie! Go Willie! Go Jack!
If you'll forgive us a brief moment of self-indulgence ... our daily obsession for the last few months paid off last night as our 1986 Strat-O-Matic St. Louis Cardinals won the National League East by one game over Baba Booey's New York Mets. (And two games over Doug Glanville's Philadelphia Phillie...
About Last Night
What you missed while mourning another tragic Civil War casualty ... • NHL: *Yawn!* Is the Stars-Sharks game over yet? • MLB: Maddux vows to win No. 350 before the next appearance of comet Hale-Bopp. • NBA: Confused Jazz discover that hack-a-Kobe strategy does not work. Los Angeles 109, Utah 98....
1st Round, Fifth Overall: Chiefs Select Glenn Dorsey
The big question in March was whether Dorsey had super-secret-surgery on his balky knees. How secret surgery even possible? I can't get a hemorrhoid removed without six referrals and a signed affidavit from the president of my insurance company. But somehow one of the top NFL prospects can sneak in...
Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry
Terrorist attack, or old Monty Python sketch? You be the judge: Several members of Australia's Olympic team were enjoying a batch of chocolate muffins at a Brisbane function last week, when some of the treats were found to have been sabotaged with paper clips. According to the Brisbane Times, a "maj...
Mike Tyson Can Turn Darkness Into Light
Are you depressed? Feeling scattered and out of control? Being chased by those pesky frowny-faced cartoon clouds all day? Well, perhaps you could go on medication and seek out professional help or you could just talk to Mike Tyson, who's offering to help lift the spirits of athletes in need. Or, at ...
Storming The Floor's San Antonio Road Trip
Storming The Floor was in San Antonio for the NCAA Title Game last night. Check out their full report....
A Great Tournament Capped With A Great Game
The most fun part of last night's national championship game? It wasn't one of those awful defensive wars of attrition, in which each team grinds out the shot clock before chucking an off-balance out-of-control shot. (Or, at least on the rare occasions that happened, the shot went in.) On the whole...
Your NCAA Champion Kansas Jayhawks
You have to admire a national championship game in which most of the final possessions late in regulation are fast breaks. In a relentlessly entertaining national championship game, the Kansas Jayhawks win their first national championship in 20 years. Bill Self gets his title, and Mario Chalmers s...
About Last Night
What you missed while the tigers were improving their record to 2-0 ... • College women's basketball: It'll be Stanford vs. Tennessee for all the Skittles, just as you predicted. • NHL: In retrospect, perhaps resting Crosby wasn't wise. • NBA: Look out, the Sonics are making their move. Seattle 151,...
That's A Working Microphone, Derrick Rose
Now one has to wonder what Rose was afraid his teammate was going to say about him. "What do we think of him? I mean, once you get past the premature ejaculating and toenail eating, he's a pretty nice kid who can make things happen on the court. It's a good thing too, we almost forgot his Cabbage Pa...
Kansas, Memphis Sprint Past Everybody
Storming The Floor wraps up last night's non-live-blogged Final Four action....
Your North Carolina-Kansas Live Blog
Now, at last, is the Jayhawks' chance to extract some measure of revenge against Huckleberry Roy Williams, he who doesn't comprehend the enmity, by denying him another title that he couldn't win them. In this likely shootout, a lot hinges on whether the three-man rotation of Sasha Kaun (Sasha Kaun!)...
Your UCLA-Memphis Live Blog
Finally, the Rumpelstiltskin of the tournament can weave chalk into gold, unless Kevin Love rains full-court chest pass threes all game. John Caliperi and Ben Howland would like to reserve their respective Final Four fortunes of years past. But remember: Larry Brown looms above all. And that's fine...
NCAA Pants Party: Final Four
All right, well, the games finally tip back off tomorrow, and it's about time: Without any major storyline — The Chalk Bracket just doesn't tend to inspire people — it's been a bit of a slog this week....
Storming The Floor's Final Four Preview
Storming The Floor looks at the Final Four, which tips off tomorrow. Oh, and this South Park "photo" of the coaches is from Gutty Little Bruins, which is probably why John Calipari looks a little off....