fin Page 179 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

1st Round, Fifth Overall: Chiefs Select Glenn Dorsey
The big question in March was whether Dorsey had super-secret-surgery on his balky knees. How secret surgery even possible? I can't get a hemorrhoid removed without six referrals and a signed affidavit from the president of my insurance company. But somehow one of the top NFL prospects can sneak in...

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry
Terrorist attack, or old Monty Python sketch? You be the judge: Several members of Australia's Olympic team were enjoying a batch of chocolate muffins at a Brisbane function last week, when some of the treats were found to have been sabotaged with paper clips. According to the Brisbane Times, a "maj...

Mike Tyson Can Turn Darkness Into Light
Are you depressed? Feeling scattered and out of control? Being chased by those pesky frowny-faced cartoon clouds all day? Well, perhaps you could go on medication and seek out professional help or you could just talk to Mike Tyson, who's offering to help lift the spirits of athletes in need. Or, at ...

Storming The Floor's San Antonio Road Trip
Storming The Floor was in San Antonio for the NCAA Title Game last night. Check out their full report....

A Great Tournament Capped With A Great Game
The most fun part of last night's national championship game? It wasn't one of those awful defensive wars of attrition, in which each team grinds out the shot clock before chucking an off-balance out-of-control shot. (Or, at least on the rare occasions that happened, the shot went in.) On the whole...

Your NCAA Champion Kansas Jayhawks
You have to admire a national championship game in which most of the final possessions late in regulation are fast breaks. In a relentlessly entertaining national championship game, the Kansas Jayhawks win their first national championship in 20 years. Bill Self gets his title, and Mario Chalmers s...

About Last Night
What you missed while the tigers were improving their record to 2-0 ... • College women's basketball: It'll be Stanford vs. Tennessee for all the Skittles, just as you predicted. • NHL: In retrospect, perhaps resting Crosby wasn't wise. • NBA: Look out, the Sonics are making their move. Seattle 151,...

That's A Working Microphone, Derrick Rose
Now one has to wonder what Rose was afraid his teammate was going to say about him. "What do we think of him? I mean, once you get past the premature ejaculating and toenail eating, he's a pretty nice kid who can make things happen on the court. It's a good thing too, we almost forgot his Cabbage Pa...

Kansas, Memphis Sprint Past Everybody
Storming The Floor wraps up last night's non-live-blogged Final Four action....

Your North Carolina-Kansas Live Blog
Now, at last, is the Jayhawks' chance to extract some measure of revenge against Huckleberry Roy Williams, he who doesn't comprehend the enmity, by denying him another title that he couldn't win them. In this likely shootout, a lot hinges on whether the three-man rotation of Sasha Kaun (Sasha Kaun!)...

Your UCLA-Memphis Live Blog
Finally, the Rumpelstiltskin of the tournament can weave chalk into gold, unless Kevin Love rains full-court chest pass threes all game. John Caliperi and Ben Howland would like to reserve their respective Final Four fortunes of years past. But remember: Larry Brown looms above all. And that's fine...

NCAA Pants Party: Final Four
All right, well, the games finally tip back off tomorrow, and it's about time: Without any major storyline — The Chalk Bracket just doesn't tend to inspire people — it's been a bit of a slog this week....

Storming The Floor's Final Four Preview
Storming The Floor looks at the Final Four, which tips off tomorrow. Oh, and this South Park "photo" of the coaches is from Gutty Little Bruins, which is probably why John Calipari looks a little off....

Kansas Fans Have Every Right To Hate Roy Williams
The general consensus concerning Roy Williams' "return" against Kansas at the Final Four this week is that it just broke his heart to leave Lawrence, and that any Jayhawks fan who is still angry with him is just being bitter. But on Phog.net, a Kansas fan message board, a poster named "pgalichia" su...

A New Approach On How To Get Out Of Those Pesky DUIs
Most of us have probably made the ridiculously stupid decision to drink and drive at some point in our lives. Some of us may have even been pulled over, which makes the stupid decision become an expensive and humiliating one. (Here's a tip: Refuse the breathalzyer.) But even if those circumstances d...

Meet The Future Mrs. Andy Roddick
This little lassie just got herself engaged to Andy Roddick (the one on the left.) Her name is Brooklyn Decker, a 20-year-old Sports Illustrated swimsuit exhibitionist, who's been dating Mr. Roddick for a little over a year now. Decker and the former Mr. Mandy Moore met in New York last year, where ...

Apologies All Around For The Memphis Tigers
In a tournament in which all No. 1 seeds, you have to look for your upstart stories where you can find them, so perhaps the Memphis Tigers will be the best we can do....

That Scrappy Underdog In Westwood
Perhaps we just don't follow this as closely as we should, but we really weren't aware that this UCLA team was supposed to be considered the most hated team in college basketball? We thought Duke had that title for life?...

The NBA Playoff Hunt Continues, Predator Style
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks you should go rent The Predator again. Immediately. Oh, and he also thinks you should read his stuff at Basketbawful. Enjoy! So you cooked up a story and dropped the six of us in the meat grindah! Michael Finley's shooting slump hit a low point l...