fin Page 183 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jim Nantz Does Like Him A Good Pun
With the official Week Of Jim Nantz just around the corner — starting Saturday, Nantz is about to take a starring role in all your nightmares — we are reminded that Nantz, right now, is probably sitting in a hotel room in Atlanta, jotting down puns and single entendres based on which ever team wins ...
"The Ball Is Tipped ..."
Because we are just more than two days away from the Final Four, we thought we'd all work ourselves up into a sappy, cheesy frenzy with the good ole "One Shining Moment." Never before has something so horrible felt so, so right. (Note: Everything horrible feels right, actually.)...
More Fun With Joakim Noah
Because Saturday's Final Four matchup between Florida and UCLA is a rematch of last year's national championship game, some bad blood is still stewing, or boiling, or whatever bad blood does, and UCLA fans are wanting revenge. And how does today fan fire himself for revenge? Funny PhotoShops!...
Going Bonkers In D.C.
Of the teams that reached the Final Four, none seemed to take more joy from it than Georgetown, who not only have gone the longest between visits, but won in such an inspiring fashion. How'd they celebrate in DC? By marching all over the place, as documented by unsilent majority over at No Mas. It's...
Always, Always Be Wearing A Cup. Always.
All right, when a story starts with this lede ......
And Watch ... As You All Turn To Stone
Yes, yes, Lane Kiffin is the youngest coach in football (and somehow looks even younger in this photo), but in case you were wondering who's still, and always, in charge in Oakland ... why, it's the gnarled ogre that is Al Davis. Tell 'em Large Marge sent ya!...
This Guy Is Younger Than David Eckstein
This youthful gentleman is Lane Kiffin, the new head coach of the Oakland Raiders. He is the youngest coach in Raiders history and the current youngest head coach in the NFL. He is younger than nine players who were on last year's Raiders roster and, strangely, he has only one year of NFL experience...
Just Blow Into This Tube, Mr. Tyson
Mike Tyson, ex-pugilist extraordinairre, gnawer of earlobes, raper of women, can add a new dubious title to his evergrowing legend: possessor of cocaine. Yes, its seems early yesterday morning in Scottsdale, Arizona, America's favorite boxer who can no longer box was pulled over during a routine che...
Rollie Fingers' Nondescript Van
Far be it from us to cast aspersions on Hall of Fame relief pitchers who could offer mustache rides to an entire cricket team, but we find this Craig's List ad apparently posted by Rollie Fingers for a commercial he's filming....
Eddie Griffin's Criminal Climax
Because we are nothing if not thorough, digging down so deep into a story that we can't imagine how to get out, doggedly pursuing every subplot until the thread is bare, we return you today to the story of Timberwolves forward Eddie Griffin. As you might remember, Mr. Griffin was arrested for crashi...
Stop The World, We Want To Get Off
If there were any real cosmic justice out there, stories such as this would not be allowed to happen; a wise, all-knowing God, concerned only with the greater good, would hurl a giant meteor right directly into our equator first. But ours is a stark, lonely universe, devoid of reason, and we are p...
Where, Oh Where, Is Sidd Finch When The Mets Need Him?
As the Mets, just four hours away from their first playoff games, continue to wonder who the heck is supposed to pitch these darned playoff games — it's John Maine, by the way — our attention is turned to a reference we always find irresistable: Maybe Sidd Finch should pitch!...
It Don't Mean A Thing If It Don't Have That Ring
Ever wonder why Sheryl Swoopes was a successful athlete but, say, Kordell Stewart was not? According to a study by King's College London — whatever that is — it's because women with long fingers make better athletes than women with shorter fingers....
Eddie Griffin's Odd Film Choices
In case you were in desperate need of some of the inside details of the Eddie Griffin masturbating in his car story — and, obviously, you were, because what person in his right mind isn't? — the official PDF version of the complaint in the lawsuit against him has been released. Our personal favori...
Eddie Griffin Needs To Mind His Surroundings
OK, so we formally apologize for taking until 10 a.m. today to get to this. It's been a busy morning....
You Stay White, Miami
At the end of yesterday's victory parade for the Miami Heat, Shaq grabbed the microphone and asked, "Who wanna see Coach Riley dance?" For reasons I can't begin to understand, the people of Miami responded affirmatively, and then the following took place:...
The Faces Of Champions
That's right, folks, the wait is over: Antoine Walker, Shandon Anderson and Michael Doleac are finally champions....
Heat Win First-Ever Title, And Even Cuban's Classy About It
Even though their apparently show their loyalty by dressing up like Klan members — even when they're not actually at the arena in which the games are being played, like in this picture — and even though they don't have an owner whose brain is always on the verge of a noisy (and always smart and en...
And Without Any Further Blowups ... Game 6
Difficult to add much more to everything else that's out there: It's Game 6, the Heat are a game away from winning the NBA Title, Mark Cuban is $250,000 lighter and downright dog-nutty, Dwyane Wade getting his legend on and the referrees looking over their shoulders, making sure no one's got a shi...
Is Mark Cuban Going Insane?
We feel we have to legitimately ask: Is Mark Cuban losing his mind?...