finals Page 69 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who Does Rasheed Wallace Have To Kick In The Head To Get A Technical?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Celtics-Lakers To Decide Which Is The Best Franchise Ever Of The 2009-10 Season
Use this space to discuss the hugely important stakes of yet another Celtics-Lakers NBA championship. Place some bets about which of his films Jack Nicholson's smirk will be reminiscent of. I'm going with Wolf....

Read Two Smart Fellows Completely Dismantle A Sports Guy Column
Slate's Josh Levin and Tom Scocca had themselves a nice chat about Bill Simmons's latest, an NBA Finals Preview. Spoilers: They aren't fans. [Scocca]...

Blackhawk Fans Do Not Handle Rejection Well
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Don't Be Afraid To Talk About Hockey
Will the Flyers make this a series or humbly submit to the overwhelming power of Antti Niemi? Would you rather see Philly humiliated or Chicago twisting in the wind? A tough call, but try to focus on the hockey. [AP]...

Thanks To Lamar Odom, Khloe Kardashian Will Get Beer Thrown On Her If She Goes To Boston
"They gave it to my kids last time in Boston...[I] don't know how my wife is going to be able to sit in the crowd," Odom said, later adding that security might be needed."[OC Register via SBB]...

Chicago Monument Desecration Continues Unabated
A 2-0 lead in the Stanley Cup Finals has made the Blackhawks fans/statue vandals in Chicago drunk with power. They've moved on from a statue of a beloved sports icon to a statue of...something by Pablo Picasso. H/T Nick....

Chicago Faces Epidemic Of Jersey-Wearing Statues
It is official: Chicago is a hockey town. If the Michael Jordan statue is wearing Hawks threads, it's only a matter of time before Mayor Daley is mispronouncing players' names and crudely dyeing the city's fountain waters red. Oh wait....

LA Times Writer Kicks Off Finals Fever With Questionable Paul-Pierce-Stabbing "Joke"
Championships are great. They force cities to lambaste other cities, get mayors to make cutesy bets with each other and let writers fire up the ol' Template-O-Tron 5000 and write "Guide to Hating [Opponent]" columns. The LA Times's Ted Green began early....

One-Eyed Funnyman Steve Nash Responds to Phil Jackson's "Nash Carries the Ball" Dig
"I've never heard anyone accuse me of carrying it...I mean, the best coach in the league, Gregg Popovich, didn't have a problem with it last week." Bam! Man, I can't wait until this series actually starts, sometime in mid-June....

An American Player Lands A Haymaker, And Chinese Basketball Has Its Kermit Washington Moment
In Game 2 of the CBA finals Sunday night, Xinjiang Flying Tiger Charles Gaines, of Southern Mississippi decked Guangdong's Du Feng in apparent retaliation for a headbutt. The freakout has already begun, if Google translation is to be believed....

Penguins Fans Crashes Stanley Cup Celebration
Have you ever dreamed of being on the ice with your favorite team as they hoist Stanley Cup, then heading back to the locker room for a champagne bath with your heroes? Go ahead! NHL security obviously won't stop you....

A Farewell To America's Softball Failures
For the last couple weeks, the injury-rate of rec softball competitors has drastically decreased, which is great news for the collective co-pay rate of America's health-insured, but bad for the column. But it deserves a proper send-off in gallery form....

L.A. To Lakers: Throw Your Own Damn Parade
We all had lots of fun joking that Pittsburgh was a bankrupt urban hellscape, but at least the city could afford to throw its hockey team a victory parade. Los Angeles? They think they left their wallet in another state....

Hockey Insanely Popular (For Just One Night)
Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals was the most-watched NHL game in 36 years. So maybe when the league starts up again in four months, some of those people 8 million people will remember it exists! [LiveFeed]...

Phil Jackson: Greatest Coach Ever or Luckiest Schlub Of All Time?
Phil Jackson now has more NBA titles than any coach in NBA history—so he's the best coach in NBA history, right? Or could a diaper-wearing monkey win six titles with Michael Jordan on his team? Fight!...

Everybody Pile On D.J. Mbenga
First, Rudy Gay called him "ugly", then Reggie Miller revealed on the Dan Patrick show his text to Barkley after Lakers victory: "can you believe that DJ Mbenga and Adam Morrison have rings?"...

Laker Riots Go Off Without A Hitch
Store fronts smashed? Check. Car windows stomped on? Done. Shoe store looted? You betcha. Trash cans thrown at cops? Absolutely. It's not an official championship until your downtown gets roughed up a little bit, am I right, Los Angeles?...

And Here's The Best Commentary You'll See About The Lakers' Championship Anywhere
Kobe wins. Everything....

Depressed Urban Zone Saved By Valiant Sports Team
All of Pittsburgh's troubles as a shrunken post-war manufacturing center are over now that the city has its third Stanley Cup championship and its second major sports title this year. Detroit, sadly, will be boarded up and shipped to Borneo....