fine Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Hope Andy Dalton's Head Was Worth $20K To Ndamukong Suh
Ndamukong Suh burst into the NFL by trying to wrench Jake Delhomme's skull from his torso, perhaps to keep on his mantel. Suh seems to be making a habit of thinning the mediocre QB herd in preseason, with this weekend's takedown of Cincinnati's Andy Dalton....

Dana White Demands A Porn Star On A Leash
Never one for choosing his words to women carefully, Dana White has now taken to Twitter to attack mild-mannered porn queen Jenna Jameson, the sometime significant other of Tito Ortiz:...

Jay-Z Fined $50k For Making Kentucky Freshmen's Dreams Come True
ESPN's Marc Stein reports that the NBA has fined the New Jersey Nets $50k for Jay-Z's visit to the Kentucky Wildcats locker room....

Having A Heart Attack? Call Up Sports Talk Radio
Very devoted listener "Smokey" wouldn't let a little myocardial infarction stop him from calling in to Paul Finebaum's show this afternoon. He even got the ER nurse to confirm, as if we'd think he was any weirder for making this up....

This Is Like 20 Times Worse Than The Sal Alosi Trip
Quietly, the NFL fined Carolina's Tyler Brayton $15,000 for setting a moving screen on an Atlanta gunner last week. That's less money than Alosi, and no suspension, so the NFL's consistent record of inconsistent punishment continues....

A Gallery Of Ines Sainz Galleries
Inspired by Abe Sauer's slideshow of World Cup Babe Slideshows, we are proud to present a gallery of Ines Sainz galleries from around the web....

Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"A German court on Tuesday threw out the case of a schoolteacher against a pupil who allegedly tormented her by scrawling pictures of rabbits on the blackboard to aggravate her rabbit phobia." [The Local] (H/T Tom K.)...

Alabama Fans Threaten Weatherman, God Over Snowstorm
Tomorrow night's forecast for Birmingham, Alabama, calls for freezing temperatures and snow, possibly mixed with rain. It's a Southern TV meteorologist's wet dream. Which is why everyone is preemptively pissed at them for interrupting the BCS Championship with storm updates....

The Best Catalogs To Read While Pooping
It's Friday, and that means you're aggressively prepared to not do anything. It's a leisurely day, filled with put-off work, early drinks, and extended bouts of pooping....

Thanks For Your Years Of Service, Drunky
It's not uncommon for the media to take pleasure in seeing certain players get traded away. But maybe you don't need to run photos of his underage drinking alongside the story....

U.S.A. on Road to Amputee-Sports Glory
The New York Times reports on the development of a new, potentially world-class American sprinter: Jerrod Fields, who lost his left foot and lower leg to an IED in Baghdad....

The Fate Of U.S.-Russia Relations Rests On Alexander Ovechkin's Stick
"As a resident of Washington, D.C., I continue to benefit from the contributions of Russians — specifically, from Alexander Ovechkin," said Barack Obama, who was criticized for not being a true puckhead. Don't get greedy, Capitals fans. [D.C. Sports Bog]...

League Throws Book At Bobby Jenks
And by book, think more along the lines of a leaflet entitled "Great Jewish Sports Figures." Jenks' rumored fine? $750. [ESPN]...

You Not Dead, Dawg
The Great Falls Little League has stepped up and will pay Elijah Dukes' tardiness fine. It's $500. That means they will have to sell at least 400 Suicide Sodas at their next home game. [WaPo]...

Blake Griffin Heading To NBA
Blake Griffin will get paid for his concussions from now on, thank you very much. (Also, joining him: Chase Budinger and Jodie Meeks.) Repeat after me: No Clippers, No Clippers, No Clippers, No Clippers. [AP]...

Bob Ryan Would Like You To Know That His Face Is Fine, Thanks For Asking
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Wake The Kids And Hide The Pets, Michael Vick Is Heading Home
Michael Vick could be released from prison as early as May 21, say government officials, and sent to a halfway house. Which, in this case, will be his own house....

Lane Kiffin Wears Out His Welcome With Paul Finebaum
Lane Kiffin has only been on the job about three months, but columnist Paul Finebaum has seen enough. He thinks Tennessee should cut its losses and fire Kiffin immediately, before he destroys America....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch following video proof that Germany won the 100m freestyle ... • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees (7 p.m., ET). Paul Byrd vs. Sidney Ponson in the race to a 5.00 ERA. [ESPN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's first round and women's second round, at New York (7 p.m., ET). Ow! I pulled my Kuznets...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as video surfaces of Richard Seymour doing his Zidane impression ... • College basketball: Duke at Virginia Tech (7 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Seton Hall at Providence (7 p.m., ET); Michigan State at Northwestern (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]; UCLA at Oregon (10:30 p.m., ET) [FSN]. Is there any team or ...