fire Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Welcome, Strident Nerds!
We are the surviving members of a blog that used to exist called Fire Joe Morgan....

You Wanted The Best, You Got The Best, The Hottest Non-Working Blog In The World...Fire Joe Morgan
Lock up your Plaschkes and hide your David Eckstein bobbleheads tomorrow, shitbirds, because Ken Tremendous, DAK, and Junior return to plunge a pointy stake into the flaccid heart of sports journalism once again. Who's excited? GETEXCITED....

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Kelly Tripucka" Hangs Out With San Antonio Spurs, Is Lead Singer Of Arcade Fire
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: everyone's favorite Polish-American Knicks color commentator Kelly Tripucka....

Jenn Sterger Weighs In On Ines Sainz: "She Accomplished Exactly What She Set Out To Do"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: alleged recipient of alleged Croc shots, Versus Network's Jenn Sterger....

Football Coach Named Pooch Caught Up In Prostitution Sting With Dog Collars, Cages
Things just got a little bit more awkward in the Firelands (Ohio) Falcons locker room....

Help Your Friends At Fire Joe Morgan Make Fun Of Bad Sportswriting
Remember: Fire Joe Morgan returns to Deadspin on Sept. 22. If you come across any atrocious sportswriting in your daily reading—never doubt that someone, somewhere, is saying too nice things about David Eckstein—send a link to [email protected]....

Man Lights Rival Soccer Fan In Sheep Costume On Fire
The Hibernian supporter was playing with his lighter when the Aberdeen fan — in a homemade sheep costume — went up in flames. The weirdest part? This is the second such case in the UK this year....

All The News That's Fit To Analogize Ridiculously To Food
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseba...

Just <em>Liking</em> The Florida Gators Will Get You Fired
After yesterday's kerfuffle regarding the Cincinnati media members that asked for Tim Tebow's autograph, it's fitting that another University of Florida graduate is involved in a media scandal. Meet Renee Gork; fired by an Arkansas sports radio network for going to UF....

Jets Superfan, Giants Superdrunk Exchange Shoves
Because you asked for it (with your eyes. I can tell), here's Fireman Ed getting into it with an unsteady Giants fan. As always, the only acceptable rooting interest is for the meteorite....

Grounds Crew Sets Fire To Baseball Field To Dry It
"It seemed like a good idea at the time" is a phrase that doesn't bode well. But rarely has there been so obviously not a good idea as burning a baseball field with diesel fuel to dry it out after it rains....

A Short Video Tribute To Diego Maradona, The Manager
As mentioned yesterday, the World Cup 2010 will be remembered for three things - vuvuzelas, a terrible match ball, and Larissa Riquelme's mobile phone deftly positioned between her enormous bosoms. But one thing was glaringly left out—Diego Maradona....

Incredibly Fun Video Of A Fireworks Mishap At A Minor League Baseball Game
Everyone loves a good minor league baseball fireworks show. Unfortunately, whether you've bused in a group of epileptics or not, these things just don't go according to plan....

Touchdown Jesus Statue Destroyed By Act Of God (UPDATE WITH VIDEO)
Via the Cincinnati Enquirer: "Lightning struck and ignited a fire late Monday that destroyed a 62-foot-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms stretched toward the skies." He'll be back, I'm sure. UPDATE: Watch Him burn! Video below....

Philadelphia Soccer Dresses Like Philadelphia Hockey
The Philadelphia Union wore Flyers inspired jerseys and lost to the Chicago Fire 2-1. Lookin' good boys! [700 Level]...

This Is What Happens When There Are No Playoffs On Saturday
Big thanks to both the NHL and NBA for providing zero entertainment today. I'd much rather flip between two Finals games on Sunday night then enjoy each one separately during the other 44 hours of the weekend when nothing happened....

Cockblocked By Fire Ants! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Jet Skis, Assault Weapons, And Party Girls: The Mikhail Prokhorov Supermix
Newly minted Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov is America's new favorite Russian oligarch. In the wake of all his recent, reliably preposterous media appearances, we've decided to put together a mix. Please enjoy. [Footage via Nets.com, CBSnews.com, YESNetwork.com; tunes via]...

Turkish Soccer Fans Set Fire To Their Own Seats
Fans of Istanbul's Fenerbahce were annoyed that a final day draw gave their hated rivals the Turkish League title, so they rationally decided to tear their home stadium apart from the inside. Yeah, that'll learn 'em. [Daily Mail]...

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...