fire Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sir, You Did Not Read The Memo Carefully
(GolfTippin via Shane Bacon)...
Jesus Is The Derek Jeter Of Christianity
He's good at what he does (for Jeter, it's baseball; for Jesus, it's healing the sick or whatever). People love him. He says and does the right things at all the right times....
Food Metaphor Of The Year
"In the Boston cookbook, most of its tasty concoctions based on defensive ingredients, Kessel is viewed as that little sprig of parsley that makes the plate look better but really doesn't factor into whether the meal is a true success."...
In A Time Of Mourning, Our Nation Turns Its Eyes To Jair Jurrjens
Earlier this summer, as you already know, pop culture icons Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett died on the same day in a tragic and unexpected murder suicide....
The Utterance Of This Word Should Be Punishable By Death
Let's get one thing straight: I'm not going to break any new ground here. I'm not going to teach you anything new about baseball. I'm not going to cause you to reassess how you think about sports journalism....
Welcome Letter
Awwww shit, y'all – get out your slide rules and hide your daughters, because the bad boys of the internet are back! FJM in the motherhumping hizzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyy!...
You Should Take Tomorrow Off And Read Us All Day
Because we are. Yes, dear angry readers, tomorrow is the day you've all been waiting for: Fire Joe Morgan, in all of its food metaphorical glory, reunites and takes over Deadspin for the day....
Fire It Up And Get The Skanks, Hoosiers
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories....
The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Night
This is a couple weeks old, but well worth the wait. Let's make this girl a star....
If You Question This Lady's Ovaries, You're A Hatemonger
While it may be cruel to so publicly question Caster Semenya's gender, it's not a ridiculous question. But just keep in mind you're being racist. What?...
Yes, Please Help The Mighty FJM
"FJM fans: we're editing Deadspin Sep. 16 and need articles to fisk. Please send links to my firejoemorgan.com email address."[KenTremendousTwitter]...
Scoring At Home: Your <em>SportsCenter</em> Catchphrase-O-Meter (UPDATE)
An occasional feature in which we explain and evaluate a SportsCenter anchor's pet phrase. Today's phrase: "Hotter than a fox in a forest fire."...
The Deadspin 2009 Fall Preview – Featuring A Fire Joe Morgan Reunion
This week's Deadcast guest is the guy who RUINED Deadspin, your editor AJ Daulerio. (Listen here, iTunes here.) And he brings news with him. That news? YOU'RE ALL BANNED AND YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHY....
Arena Football Team Bounced From Playoffs Due To Bounced Check
The Albany Firebirds make the AFL2 playoffs after the actual No. 8 seed, Florida Firecats, are disqualified because they owe the league $200,000. I guess Arena Football teams are not exactly cash cows. Sorry....firecows. [Times-Union]...
Billy Beane Is A Golden God: Excerpts From The Scrapped Moneyball Script
It looks like Moneyball might not be coming to the big screen anytime soon because director Steven Soderbergh tinkered with the script and everyone realized that a movie version of the book made about as much sense as Joe Morgan....
Harold Reynolds Won't Embrace OPS
Now that Joe Morgan is telling tales 'round the national campfire, who out there is left to make specious, proudly ignorant arguments about the value of baseball statistics? Batter up, Harold Reynolds!...
Matt Millen <i>Is</i> The New Richard Nixon
Sports Illustrated has just published—courtesy of writer Don Banks—one of the most head-scratchingly bonkers essays of all-time, wherein Banks compares Matt Millen to Richard Nixon ... and somehow thinks that a compliment....
If The Nationals Lose But No One Is Around To See It, Do They Still Lose?
Nationals Park looked slightly emptier than usual last night, with less than 100 fans sticking around to weather a two-hour ninth inning rain delay. But boy, did they get a good fireworks show afterward — oh, wait. [Washington Post]...
The Nationals Even Lose To Fireworks
Nationals Park sucks — we know that — so the franchise rewards those 200 people who shell out to watch another loss with fireworks. Nice gesture, until the Nationals, as always, managed to screw it up....
Chicago Fire Fans Take Their Name Quite Literally
Houston Dynamo announcer on the Chicago Fire's Section 8 celebrating its Friday night with flares: "That is a thing of beauty. You're not going to see that at an NBA game."...