fish Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Father Of The Year Makes Daughter Pose With Barracuda That Ripped Her Flesh Open
This happy fellow is Rob Parker, with a 42-inch long barracuda that he caught. This traumatized girl is his 14-year-old daughter, who was the bait. He made sure to get this photo before they went to the hospital. (Bloody, NSFW-ish photo inside.)...

Everything You Need To Know About The Titans Suing Lane Kiffin And USC
The Tennessee Titans filed a lawsuit against USC and Lane Kiffin on Monday after the Trojans hired away former Titans running backs coach Kennedy Pola. Clay Travis sifts through the legalese and tells you everything you need to know. [FanHouse]...

Jeff Fisher Joins the People Disappointed in Lane Kiffin Club
USC is set to hire Tennessee Titans running backs coach Kennedy Pola to serve as offensive coordinator under coach Lane Kiffin, causing Titans coach — and USC alum — Jeff Fisher to question the professionalism of the Trojans' head man. "Typically speaking ... there is a courtesy call made from the ...

What Not To Do When You've Hooked A Great White
Even if it's a baby, rule number one is don't try to remove the hook with your hands. Rule number two is that a high-pitched girlish scream is simply ineffective in making it let go....

Fisherman Loses $900,000 Record Marlin Due To $5 Fishing License
A tournament fisherman caught an 883-pound blue marlin off North Carolina last week. That would have won him a $912,000 first prize, but one of the crew members on his boat didn't have a fishing license. So....disqualified. Oops....

Fishing Tourney Cheat Heads To Jail
A Texas man is going to prison(!) for exaggerating the size of his bass by shoving a lead weight down its throat before the weigh-in....

Villanova Pregnancy Hoax Email Results In Confusion, Death Threats
Yesterday, in an attempt to debunk the Fisher-Reynolds pregnancy melodrama rumor that spread via email for the past couple weeks, it appears I became the Big East's Furman Bisher instead. To clarify: It's a hoax. Like this. And this....

Villanova, Syracuse, And The Case Of The Impregnated Girlfriends (UPDATE)
Since Villanova was unceremoniously bounced from the NCAA tournament on March 21 by St. Mary's, many emails have been fired off by frustrated alumni explaining how this happened to their precious team. The reason? Corey Fisher impregnated Scottie Reynolds's girlfriend, of course....

Annoying Flying Fish Slaps Woman In The Face
An influx of Asian carp to the Illinois River has given rise to extreme aerial bowfishing, a niche sport combining speedboats with archery. This is what happens when the fish fight back with some extreme aerial moves of their own....

Toni Kukoc And Derek Fisher Have Giant Penises, John Salley Says
Courtesy of John Salley, we're told that the NBA's most famous Croatian export is super-hung for a white boy and that Fisher is "six feet tall with a seven foot dick." Gentlemen, welcome to the geoduck club. [SpiderandtheHenchman]...

ESPN.com Helps Launch False "Obama Wants To Ban Fishing" Rumor
Conservative websites are up in arms this week over the Obama administration's new plan to outlaw recreational fishing in America. It's an egregious abuse of executive power, slightly mitigated by the fact that it's not remotely close to being true....

Jim Harbaugh Knows What The Kids Like
First of all, I'm shocked to find out that they only split two years ago, instead of ten. Jim, you could probably hire them to cut the grass at Stanford Stadium before they play their set. [Twitter]...

Stories That Don't Suck: Seduced By Ebersol, Produced By Arledge, Fish, Near-Death Psychedelia
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

He Thought He Was Whaling
Japan's Manabu Kurita caught a world-record tying largemouth bass, clocking in at 22 pounds, 4 ounces - but only after months of investigation and polygraph tests. Don't fuck with fish people. [Fishing World]...
![Papa, Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Hockey Players [Canadian Ben Bernanke Update!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f10f85e5j4ajpg.jpg)
Papa, Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Hockey Players [Canadian Ben Bernanke Update!]
Hunky Ottawa hockey player Mike Fisher proposed to Carrie Underwood early this week, breaking Drew Magary's heart/hand. Think those brunettes look jealous now? Ha, wait til they learn how much the ring cost. UPDATE! Meet the "Canadian Ben Bernanke":...

A Golf Porn Lawsuit That Has Nothing To Do With Who You Think
There are many ways of getting yourself banned from exclusive country clubs. Being poor or a minority are probably the most common, but letting them film a golf-themed porno there is probably the most exciting....

Jeff Fisher Mental Breakdown Watch, Day 1
The "leader" of the 0-6 Titans showed up to speak at a Nashville luncheon today wearing a Peyton Manning jersey. Said he "just wanted to feel like a winner." See, it's hilarious because he's a failure! [MusicCityMiracles/RecklessLove]...

The Drunken Jellyfish Bandit Begins His Reign Of Terror
An intoxicated Florida beachgoer was arrested after pretending to drown in order to lure in would-be rescuers, only to hurl jellyfish at them when they approached. That's the greatest sentence I've ever written. [St. Pete Times]...

Mariners Skipper Takes Job Title Seriously
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Ross, You're A Heckuva Lot More Likely To Have Another Child Than Win Another Open
Ross Fisher, currently near the top at the Open, is ready to scurry off the course at any moment should his wife go into labor. "Hopefully, I can hang on for one more day, and hopefully she can." [NY Post]...