fish Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Dolphins Smashed Their Own Dicks To A Pulp, And Then Smashed Them Some More
This past Sunday, the Miami Dolphins failed so flagrantly, so perfectly, in a game so perversely important that was more meme than matchup, that I don’t actually need to explain what happened to them. But the thing you should know about the Dolphins’ suicide screen pass, which wrapped up their 17-16...
The Dolphins Are The Worst Of The Worst
One hurdle lying on its side, rusted and shattered, 11 more left....
Dolphins Win Barf Bowl, Lose To Washington In Final Seconds
So far this season the Miami Dolphins had looked unstoppable on their way to a No. 1 draft pick and Tua Tagovailoa. But their tank rumbled over a potential minefield on Sunday: a matchup with Washington, one of a small handful of teams that might be nearly as bad as the Dolphins, and the only team t...
Report: The Sparks Imploded Because Derek Fisher Is An Overmatched Dingus Who Can't Handle Criticism
The Los Angeles Sparks’ 2019 season ended in ignominious fashion, as they were swept by the Connecticut Sun while their best player, Candace Parker, inexplicably sat on the bench for almost an entire half of a closeout game. After the loss, Parker raised an eyebrow toward her head coach Derek Fisher...
Dad Made The Very Sleepy Chargers Get Out Of Bed And Beat The Dolphins
Okay, so I can’t show you what it would look like if the Miami Dolphins played a college football team. But I can show you what it would look like if the Miami Dolphins played in a college football game, and were the college team....
The Blowhole: Brian Flores Wants To Spoonfeed You Sadness
The most important thing to know about the Miami Dolphins is that their new coach, Brian Flores, treats every game like he will be held criminally liable if anything interesting happens. Dolphins fans, befitting a franchise that hasn’t won a playoff game in 20 years, have extensive experience with c...
Candace Parker Was Peeved After Derek Fisher Benched Her In An Elimination Game
Down 2-0 to the Connecticut Sun in the WNBA Semifinals, the Los Angeles Sparks played out the last quarter and a half of their season Sunday night without Candace Parker, to the surprise of everyone involved, including Candace Parker....
![Report: Minkah Fitzpatrick Traded To Steelers For First-Rounder [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/s1luhqy1au79vdvkketp.jpg)
Report: Minkah Fitzpatrick Traded To Steelers For First-Rounder [Update]
Just four days after Minkah Fitzpatrick made it clear he wanted no part in the Dolphins’ soul-crushing tank job, Miami satisfied his wishes and sent him to the much-less-sunnier city of Pittsburgh. All it cost from the Steelers to get the defensive talent was the hefty price of a first-round pick in...
Should You Root For The Dolphins To Be The Worst Team Ever?
After two games, the Miami Dolphins are, well, you know. Everyone knows. After two weeks, everybody knows. Everybody can smell it....
The Dolphins Are Stale Piss From The Gutter
The Dolphins, a team set up to execute one of the most brazen tanking campaigns in NFL history, were so bad in Week 1 that a handful of players were reportedly calling their agents after the game and begging to be traded. Somehow, Miami was even worse today against the Patriots....
Minkah Fitzpatrick Wants Out Of Miami
It took only one game for the depth and breadth of Miami’s “tank for Tua” campaign to become apparent, and it was being widely reported even before all the players had finished driving home from the stadium that they were frantically ringing their agents, begging for deliverance from whatever this a...
The Dolphins Aren't Enjoying This Fiasco Any More Than You Are
Dolphins head coach Brian Flores declared on Friday, “I have a good team.” What a difference one game makes, especially when that game was Miami’s 59-10 loss to the Ravens, featuring the most points and the most yards (643) the Dolphins have given up in their history. Brian Flores on Sunday: “We’ve ...
The Dolphins Were The Perfect Confidence Builder For The Ravens
It was very clear at the end of preseason that the Dolphins had no desire to seriously compete this year, even if head coach Brian Flores planned on it. Judging from the roster as well as the trade of Laremy Tunsil and Kenny Stills, the Fins seemed destined to suck mondo ass. Today’s game did not di...
The Dolphins Are Tanking Whether Or Not Brian Flores Wants To
It’s never a good sign when, a few days out from the start of the NFL season, reporters are asking a head coach questions like, “So, are you guys even going to try to win a game this year?” That’s the line of questioning Dolphins first-year head coach Brian Flores faced after his team traded Kenny S...
An Interview With A Man Who Eats Leftover Food From Strangers' Plates In Restaurants
Alex is a 43-year-old San Franciscan who works in the financial sector. He also eagerly eats uneaten and untouched leftover food off of plates if he spots it out in the open at a public dining establishment, even if it’s off a stranger’s plate. He forages in an urban setting, you might say. I called...
Von Miller Avoids Charges For Bloody Shark Photo; Boat Owner Gets Two Counts
Denver Broncos linebacker Von Miller won’t face any charges for catching and posing with a bloody hammerhead shark one year ago, according to a March 2019 charging document from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. TMZ reported the news last month, but USA Today followed up today and...
Former NBPA Union President And New Sparks Head Coach Derek Fisher Joins Up With A Shady Luxury Lending Outfit
Longtime NBA guard, controversial Players Association president, and failed Knicks coach Derek Fisher has reportedly joined up with a shady alternative lender that targets professional athletes and other “high-net-worth individuals and families” who find themselves challenged by the “burdensome and ...
There's Some More Video Of The LSU–Texas A&M Fight
As LSU offensive analyst Steve Kragthorpe outlined, the fight between Kevin Faulk and Cole Fisher after Saturday’s game had a prelude. According to Kragthorpe, Texas A&M receivers coach Dameyune Craig, who had previously worked for the Tigers, was celebrating his team’s seven-OT victory by talking ...
In Shocking Betrayal, Penn Basketball Ditches Cheesesteaks For Fish Burritos
The Penn men’s basketball team is 5-2 so far this year; freshman Michael Wang has been particularly impressive. Their losses are to Kansas State and Oregon State. The only blip this season so far is losing Ryan Betley for the season five minutes into the opening game. (Penn rallied to win at George ...
![Report: Jimbo Fisher's Nephew Was The Texas A&M Staffer Who Foolishly Tried To Fight Kevin Faulk [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pfwsmlyo5euphwh1tld8.gif)
Report: Jimbo Fisher's Nephew Was The Texas A&M Staffer Who Foolishly Tried To Fight Kevin Faulk [Update]
No. 22 Texas A&M’s 74-72, seven-overtime victory over No. 7 LSU was a spectacle, but the dessert to that meal was the postgame fight between an Aggies staffer and Kevin Faulk, LSU’s director of player development and a former NFL running back. A few more details have emerged since Saturday, most not...