fl Page 1102 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jay Cutler Continues To Compare Himself Favourably to Other Quarterbacks
I can't be the only one praying that Jay Cutler keeps getting better and better, solely in the hopes that there is a corresponding escalation in the people he will publicly declare himself better than: "Sure, Mother Theresa helped a lot of people, but last time I checked, she never once threw for 4,...
Your Plaxico Burress Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound Update
So a few more details seem to be emerging about the bizarre "Plaxico shot himself at a club" story. The New York Post is now reporting that the incident took place just after midnight on Friday at a club called Latin Quarter in Manhattan, while Plax was out on the town with teammate Antonio Pierce. ...
UPDATE: New Orleans Saints Drop a Deuce, But It Isn't McAllister
Let it be known to New Orleans Saints' owner Tom Benson: your players will not tolerate you intra-business whoring. It seems Mr. Benson has this habit of bringing cars from the many dealerships he owns to the Saints' practice facility, and then trying to sell those cars to his players. It also seem...
Deion Sanders Forces Philly Fans to Engage in Some Long-Overdue Self-Reflection
This news is a bit old, but you're probably still so doped up on tryptophan at the moment that you won't know the difference. Deion Sanders had some not-so-nice words for Eagles fans following Philly's big Thanksgiving Day rout of the Cardinals. During the NFL Network's postgame interview with Dono...
Plaxico Burress Accidentally Shoots Self in Leg
Yep, you read that right. Jay Glazer is reporting that sometime last night, Burress fired a gun into his own leg and spent the night in hospital, but that the injuries are non life-threatening. More, obviously, as more becomes available. UPDATE: Apparently John Clayton is reporting the incident too...
College Football Preview: In-State Rivalries Take Center Stage
Texas beat Texas A&M 49-9 yesterday. They're now 11-1. But unless you were in Texas you had no idea this game was happening. Even I didn't think to check this score until late Thursday night. That's because I spent Thanksgiving with family. Included in part of my day was a trip to Ford Field to wat...
Train Wreck of a Woman Who Had Hawkeye Sex in Bathroom Stall Comes Clean
We featured this as a quicklink, but given the amount of attention this poor woman is getting due to her unfortunate drunken sexcapades at the Iowa/Minnesota game last week, it's probably worth another look....
Jamboroo, Week 13. THANKSGIVING EDITION, In Which Chad Ocho Cinco Tells You The Story Of The First Thanksgiving
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available in stores and online here, and makes a lovely Christmas gift for the chronic masturbator in your life. You...
Why The Lions Belong On Thanksgiving
The Detroit Lions are (arguably, I know) the worst organization in sports. Their incompetence, from the owner to the fans, is legendary. Yet, tradition dictates that every year, just as families arrive at the homes of relatives they don't particularly care for in order to celebrate this giving of Th...
Lil' Wayne Sheds No Tattooed Teardrops for Pacman Jones
ESPN the Mag's extremely productive blogger, Lil' Wayne — the Bob Dylan of our generation — went off in his usual Weezy fashion this week about all things sports related. One Lil' Wayne opinion of note is the rapper's stance on Cowboys' trouble-making defensive back Pacman Jones. Always unpredictabl...
Mayweather Jr. Makes It Rain With Monopoly Money, Loses Street Cred
Now that Pacman Jones has vowed to straighten up and fly right, who's going to toss enormous amounts of cash into the air so that random strangers can clutch at the loot in a screaming frenzy? Floyd Mayweather Jr., that's who. One glitch, however. Apparently Pretty Boy Floyd's money is fake. As in c...
Blue Nail Polish, Cinderella Diapers And You
Brian Urlacher's estranged lady friend, Tyna Robertson, told a Will County Court on Tuesday that she barred Urlacher from seeing their 3-year-old son because Urlacher painted the child's toenails blue and allowed him to wear Cinderella pull-up diapers. Note to Bears fans: This story includes the ter...
Lawrence Tynes To President Bush: Pardon My Brother, Please
Question: Do you know who Lawrence Tynes is without me having to explain that he's the kicker for the New York Giants? Do you think President Bush knows? He did single out Tynes during the Giants post-Super Bowl White House visit, because it was his overtime field goal against Green Bay that sent th...
Lions Fans: Not Even Fit For The Bus
Hard to think of a more fitting metaphor for the Detroit Lions' season than the video below: A poor, stupid Lions fan is kicked off of a bus, and is mocked by the other passengers. Poor, dumb sap. The most hilarious part to me is his final, desperate act of defiance as the vehicle pulls away. Ha. Cl...
Well, That Was Fun While It Lasted...Brady Quinn Probably Out For Season
The Cleveland Browns season just became even more meaningless, thanks to the anonymously sourced- news that Brady Quinn, former starting handsome ball chucker, is most likely out for the season. Quinn attempted to play last Sunday with that fractured index finger, but apparently did more damage to i...
Matt Ryan Has Won Some of the Black Vote in Atlanta
Interesting story in the New York Times today about Falcons' quarterback Matt Ryan and how he's slowly winning over the large percentage of African-American Falcons' fans, many of whom were decidedly pro-Mike Vick. The timing is excellent too, given that Vick might be coming to a football stadium ne...
Have Sex The Fundamentalist Way, Minus The Robes
The most fascinating story I read all week, without question, was this New York Times story about Rev. Ed Young in Grapevine, Tx. encouraging his parishioners to have sex with each other. Life's gotta be pretty dull for a preacher sometimes — "Lord, forgive me, but if I have to give another endless ...
Myron Rolle, Gentleman (Rhodes) Scholar
I'm sure you've heard the tale of Florida State safety Myron Rolle, who won a Rhodes Scholarship on Saturday afternoon in Alabama, then flew to Maryland (on a plane, we assume) played in his team's game that night, then killed a wild boar with his bare hands and fed his entire squad with it at the p...
In These Troubled Times, Why Not Trust Your Money To A Hochuli?
Have some money to invest, but you're not totally sold on the financial genius that is Lenny Dykstra? Why not try Shawn Hochuli, son of embattled NFL referee iron pumper Ed Hochuli? Shawn is a football referee as well, in addition to being a young Gordon Gekko. Hochuli refs in the Big 12, working ga...
A Loaf Of Bread, A Bottle Of Wine, And Tyler Thigpen
KC Magazine—which is devoted to the City of Kansas, not the Sunshine Band—is currently sponsoring a bachelor and bachelorette auction featuring the sexiest singles in the city, to benefit the local chapter of Big Brothers, Big Sisters. Classy, I know. But I defy you to not reach for your wallet afte...