fl Page 1111 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Support The Team While Thwarting Criminals With Toxic Chemicals
If there's one thing I hate, it's getting dressed up in my favorite NFL dress shirt for a night on the town, and then getting jumped by hooligans. If only there were a place I could shop where they would take care of both my NFL dress shirt and self defense needs. Well, now there is! Just listen to ...
You Should Probably Stop Having Birthday Parties When You're 11
I turned 33 over the weekend. There's something inherently sad about a single 33-year-old man hosting his own birthday party. I remember when my father turned 33; I was 11. It was my parents, my sister and myself eating tacos and watching the Cardinals game. That was pretty fun. I've had birthday b...
Terrell Owens Was Very Yellow On Monday
It's Tuesday, and Black Sports Online is still asking the musical question: T.O., WTF are you wearing??? How do you lose to the Cardinals and then show up in the locker room on Monday looking like this? You've just blown any chance you may have had with Jessica Simpson. Was T.O. striving for the elu...
Hey, Wait A Minute, Didn't Braylon Edwards Go To Michigan?
Here's Cleveland wide receiver Braylon Edwards proudly representing the school logo ... unfortunately though, it's the wrong school. We know that the Wolverines have been struggling lately, but Penn State, a Big Ten rival? That's cold, man. Edwards channeled the JoePa mojo to catch five passes for 1...
Detroit Lions Still Finding New And Impressive Ways To Lose
Two games after getting rid of the The GM Who Shall Not Be Named, Detroit found itself on the verge of its first and possibly only win of the season against the Minnesota Vikings. The defense had kept the opposition under thirty for the first time all season and backup QB "Dandy" Dan Orlovsky had be...
College Football Roundup: Carnage Came and Carnage Conquered
For those of you who emailed and asked whether the bearded guy in the orange shirt on the sideline at UT-Georgia was me. Yep, it was. There's a refined sense of pleasure in being a fan and watching your team suffer a drubbing from the sideline. I think I spoke about five words the entire game becau...
The Sunday Evening NFL Roundup: Orlovsky!!!
When Dan Orlovsky was a young lad, he dreamed about this day: Finally making his first NFL start, carrying a woeful team on his back to victory, following up the post-game celebration by calling his parents to let them know that, see, he did make the right decision by turning down a full-ride schol...
NFL Update 5: Winslow Finally Has A Handle On His Balls Issue
This website reported a PFT tip that Kellen Winslow was hospitalized with some testicle issues. Well, apparently all is well again down south, as this report has Winslow leaving the hospital earlier today. Don't expect him to play tomorrow; as he's been downgraded on the injury report, as well as b...
Sometimes You Eat The Ghost, And Sometimes The Ghost Eats You
You Pacman Jones fans might want to savor today's game against the Cardinals: it might be awhile before you see him suited up for awhile. According to super-secret Yahoo(!) sources, Commissioner Roger Goodell is going to sit down with Pacman either Monday or Tuesday and deliver his swift, yet always...
Tony Romo fumbles in the end zone and Arizona recovers. This was followed by Wade Phillips performing the least enthusiastic tossing of any sort of flag since King George III at the Treaty of Paris. So they review the play, and they call it a tuck, an incomplete pass. Touchdown comes off the board. ...
NFL Update 4: Josh Brown Will Burn Down Your Village
Rams K Brown, along with Atlanta's Jason Elam and Minnesota's Ryan Longwell, won games for their teams in the closing seconds of their games. And we're not even talking about Matt Schaub, who overcame his first three quarters of play with a dramatic, last-minute drive to victory over the Dolphins. S...
NFL Update 2: Meet Dan Orlovsky
Detroit 10, Minnesota 2. With Jon Kitna out this week [where's your God now, sucka? —Ed.], the Lions turned to their 5th round draft pick of 2005—the man they once called "Dandy Dan" during his days at UConn. Dan didn't take a live snap in 2007. Or 2006. Or 2005. My favorite bit of info about Dandy ...
NFL Update 1: Schaub Picks Up Where Rosenfels Leaves Off
Miami 14, Houston 3 Matt Schaub started off with game with 2 interceptions, showing Sage Rosenfels that if anyone is going to be turning over the ball in a Houston uniform, it's going to be him. Meanwhile, Chad Pennington went bomb crazy to Patrick Cobbs, connecting for 53-yard and 80-yard TDs. St. ...
NFL Maps and Matchups for Week 6 (Updated)
Chicago at Atlanta, 1 PM. Kyle Orton led the league in yards passing last week. He'll need to play well for a third consecutive week as the Bears take on one of the best run-stopping defenses in the Falcons. Roddy White is questionable after sustaining a head injury in practice on Wednesday. Coverag...
Snip My Child's Foreskin, Please!
So what did we learn today? Other than maybe learning that Mack Brown can win the big games, RichRod can't win the little games, and that taking the points against Utah is wallet suicide, I learned this...and I don't have any clue how to react: Friend of Deadspin and unabashed Tim Tebow superfan Dan...
Prop Odds On Sarah Palin's Puck Dropping Skills
I think what I admire most about America — after our vast interstate highway system and the existence of fried elephant ears — is that you can literally bet on anything. The thing I admire most after that, is that a vice-presidential candidate could appear at professional hockey game in Philadelphia...
Kellen Winslow's Out With...Swollen Testicles?
After a summer filled with horrifying testicular injuries in hockey and baseball, it appears Cleveland Browns tight end Kellen Winslow is also having his own nut trouble and will possibly sit out Monday Night's game against the New York Giants. Pro Football Talk, quoting a league source, says that W...
College Football Preview: Texas and Oklahoma Is At NOON (EST) You Drunk Idiots
The biggest week of college football games comes at a good time. Your stocks are tanking, summer is fading, you may or may not get fired in the newest round of layoffs, and you're thinking about getting an MBA or going to law school but you're not sure whether it makes sense to take out the student...
Jerry Jones On Pacman Scuffle: Nothing To See Here. Move Along
First of all, I have a feeling that the movie Max Payne is going to make me want to punch someone myself. Just a hunch. That's evidently what happened on Wednesday with the Cowboys' Pacman Jones, who was at an event for the movie at a Dallas hotel which was also attended by rapper Ludacris and actor...
Kendra Wilkinson Will Skype Your Brains Out
First of all, Playboy Playmate Kendra Wilkinson appears to have broken it off with boyfriend Hugh Hefner (you drop to knees, scream "Nooo!"). And that means that she's free to romp around with the Eagles' Hank Baskett with impunity, although the two are rarely together due to their schedules. The so...