fl Page 1113 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mayweather Jr. Makes It Rain With Monopoly Money, Loses Street Cred
Now that Pacman Jones has vowed to straighten up and fly right, who's going to toss enormous amounts of cash into the air so that random strangers can clutch at the loot in a screaming frenzy? Floyd Mayweather Jr., that's who. One glitch, however. Apparently Pretty Boy Floyd's money is fake. As in c...

Blue Nail Polish, Cinderella Diapers And You
Brian Urlacher's estranged lady friend, Tyna Robertson, told a Will County Court on Tuesday that she barred Urlacher from seeing their 3-year-old son because Urlacher painted the child's toenails blue and allowed him to wear Cinderella pull-up diapers. Note to Bears fans: This story includes the ter...

Lawrence Tynes To President Bush: Pardon My Brother, Please
Question: Do you know who Lawrence Tynes is without me having to explain that he's the kicker for the New York Giants? Do you think President Bush knows? He did single out Tynes during the Giants post-Super Bowl White House visit, because it was his overtime field goal against Green Bay that sent th...

Lions Fans: Not Even Fit For The Bus
Hard to think of a more fitting metaphor for the Detroit Lions' season than the video below: A poor, stupid Lions fan is kicked off of a bus, and is mocked by the other passengers. Poor, dumb sap. The most hilarious part to me is his final, desperate act of defiance as the vehicle pulls away. Ha. Cl...

Well, That Was Fun While It Lasted...Brady Quinn Probably Out For Season
The Cleveland Browns season just became even more meaningless, thanks to the anonymously sourced- news that Brady Quinn, former starting handsome ball chucker, is most likely out for the season. Quinn attempted to play last Sunday with that fractured index finger, but apparently did more damage to i...

Matt Ryan Has Won Some of the Black Vote in Atlanta
Interesting story in the New York Times today about Falcons' quarterback Matt Ryan and how he's slowly winning over the large percentage of African-American Falcons' fans, many of whom were decidedly pro-Mike Vick. The timing is excellent too, given that Vick might be coming to a football stadium ne...

Have Sex The Fundamentalist Way, Minus The Robes
The most fascinating story I read all week, without question, was this New York Times story about Rev. Ed Young in Grapevine, Tx. encouraging his parishioners to have sex with each other. Life's gotta be pretty dull for a preacher sometimes — "Lord, forgive me, but if I have to give another endless ...

Myron Rolle, Gentleman (Rhodes) Scholar
I'm sure you've heard the tale of Florida State safety Myron Rolle, who won a Rhodes Scholarship on Saturday afternoon in Alabama, then flew to Maryland (on a plane, we assume) played in his team's game that night, then killed a wild boar with his bare hands and fed his entire squad with it at the p...

In These Troubled Times, Why Not Trust Your Money To A Hochuli?
Have some money to invest, but you're not totally sold on the financial genius that is Lenny Dykstra? Why not try Shawn Hochuli, son of embattled NFL referee iron pumper Ed Hochuli? Shawn is a football referee as well, in addition to being a young Gordon Gekko. Hochuli refs in the Big 12, working ga...

A Loaf Of Bread, A Bottle Of Wine, And Tyler Thigpen
KC Magazine—which is devoted to the City of Kansas, not the Sunshine Band—is currently sponsoring a bachelor and bachelorette auction featuring the sexiest singles in the city, to benefit the local chapter of Big Brothers, Big Sisters. Classy, I know. But I defy you to not reach for your wallet afte...

Dissing Randy Moss, 68-Yard Field Goal Attempt, And NFL In 3D?
• Al Davis As You've Never Seen Him Before. Just when you thought you could barely stand these teams in two dimensions, the NFL has announced that the Dec. 4 game between the Chargers and Raiders will be broadcast live in 3D to theaters in Los Angeles, New York and Boston. The three screenings — for...

So What Was That Ugly Red Stain on the Field During the Jets-Titans Game?
Yesterday, KOGOD posted an update on the Jets-Titans game that featured what appeared to be an ominous looking giant blood stain in the middle of the field. It was speculated that Albert Haynesworth, who popped up from that spot and ran off the field clutching his face, had some sort of open facial...

Ravens Slingshot Back Into AFC Playoff Picture
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap Oh, eventually you will stop, Brian Westbrook, yes you will. Baltimore's Althea Barnes makes the play, although where Westbrook's forward progress is marked is anyone's guess. Kind...

Manning at Marmalard: Who You Got?
The Colts and the Chargers face off tonight at Qualcomm Stadium in a battle between two goofy looking quarterbacks. You can be sure that Peyton is trying to forget his crappy performances to start the season and the fact that the Chargers knocked the Colts out of last year's playoffs. Rivers is curr...

Seattle Still Has Their Beloved Seahawks
Seattle fans wear their heart on their sleeve and their logo on their head. No wonder Sonics fans were so pissed off. Jim Zorn and Mike Holmgren have been feeling each other out like a Mormon couple on their honeymoon and neither side has looked all that fluid. Clinton Portis has been running wild ...

The Jets Fly High Over the Titans
After 12 weeks the Tennessee Titans have joined the ranks of the defeated thanks to (sigh) Brett Favre and the New York Jets. Apparently there's been a rather large puddle of blood on the field stemming from an injury to Albert Haynesworth, and from what I understand there have been no efforts made...

Blame the Wildcat: Favre Is a Wide Receiver and Fisher Is Skydiving...And McNabb Is Benched
Brett Favre learned everything he knows about playing wide receiver from an instructional book written in an obsolete vernacular. And for some reason Jeff Fisher decided to make his arrival at Friday's practice via parachute. Both teams have added field goals since we last checked in, making the sco...

Donovan Is Chilly Yet Stylish
Thanks to Christmas Ape for this screengrab of Donovan McNabb strutting his stuff on the sideline in his favorite oversized mittens. So far they don't seem to be working because the Eagles haven't been able to get it downfield, and the quarterback has thrown an interception. Philly and Baltimore ar...

Florida State Player To Be A Rhodes Scholar
It's nice to report news when an athlete does something admirable. Florida State safety Myron Rolle interviewed with the Rhodes Scholarship committee in Birmingham, Alabama before flying to meet his team in Maryland to help them beat the Terps. And he won a scholarship in the process. ...

The Jets Try To Steal Perfection From The Titans
Could today be the end of perfection for the Titans? Tennessee faces off against Favre and the Jets at 1:00 and it should be a doozy. Even with Favre's probable interceptions, the Jets should prove to be the Titans biggest challenge so far. For once I'll be rooting for the Jets, as perfection is bor...