fl Page 1116 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Should Let Joey Porter Pick Your Lottery Numbers
• Miami at New England: Last week, Joey Porter did Joey Porter things, as he completely emasculated Pats QB Matt Cassell in front of the media. Joey must have said his prayers, because God did not smite him by having Cassell put up a monster day. Quite the opposite, actually. Tom Brady's replacemen...
Chad Pennington Is Playing Well; Yes, You Read That Correctly
• Miami at New England: Prior to the game, Dolphins Tony Sparano coach hinted that his defenders would look to get physical with Randy Moss today, and judging from his play so far (3 catches for 18 yards in the first half), I'd say that plan is working to perfection. Miami led 21-6 at the half. (Oh...
The Ronnie Brown Show
• Panthers at Vikings: Despite having the services of one Adrian Peterson, the Vikes trail Carolina 10-0 thanks to a 43-yard boot from John Kasay plus a rushing TD from Jonathan Stewart. • Cardinals at Redskins: Clinton Portis has rushed for a touchdown, leading me to wonder how Brian Mitchell feel...
The Calm Before the Storm
Ah, sweet, glorious NFL Sunday is here at long last. And you can take a look at which men and women will bring you today's slate of 15 games. • Joey "piano man” Harrington is taking his musical talents to New Orleans, where he'll play backup to Drew Brees's backup. My, how the not-so-mighty have fa...
Jerry Jones to 'Quick Draw' Hochuli: Stop Blowing
While the national media may be falling all over themselves to heap praise upon Ed Hochuli for his willingness to shoulder the blame for a call that was obviously his fault, Jerry Jones is not ready to let go of the matter. The Cowboys owner has taken his own personal Texas barbecue of the besieged ...
Cowboys Love Them Wide Open Spaces
We mentioned this in morning blogdome, but felt that it needed to be expanded. See what I did there? Scientists estimate that sometime in the future, perhaps a hundred years from now, the typical human ass will be wider than a Subaru Outback. In Texas, they're already getting close. As workers begin...
The Death Of The Black Quarterback. Jamboroo, Week 3
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. Wi...
Ask Not What Tom Brady Can Do For You, Ask What You Can Do For Tom Brady
Excellent piece of satire this morning over at Blogging The Boys — and God, I hope it's satire — in which they write that the remainder of the 2008 NFL season will be officially played in honor of Tom Brady. I have to admit that I read half of it, then raced over to NFL.com to make sure it wasn't tr...
Shaun Alexander, Cedric Benson Both Seeking Reclamation Project Status In Detroit
How bad has it been for the former NFL MVP and the former drunk boater? The Lions are bringing both running backs in for workouts now. Okay, well, that's not so bad. Both guys have a chance to sign with an NFL team, right? Not so much. Why not? According to MLive: "A signing of any player is not im...
Tarvaris Jackson Will Continue Being Molded From The Sidelines
The biggest question mark for the Minnesota Vikings going into this year was if second-year quarterback Tarvaris Jackson had progressed enough to run the offense. The flirtations with Brett Favre not withstanding, Vikings head coach Brad Childress made a valiant effort to put his faith behind his sh...
Raiders DT Tommy Kelly Celebrates Big Win With DUI
At least the Raiders didn't give Kelly a $50.5 million dollar contract with $18.6 million in guarantees last offseason. That would have been the largest contract in the history of the NFL for a defensive tackle. A defensive tackle who was coming off ACL surgery, only played in 7 games, recorded jus...
Clinton Portis and Brian Mitchell Radio Interview Goes Entertainingly Off The Rails
Yesterday, Clinton Portis went on John Thompson's radio show on WTEM 980 in Washington, D.C. and within minutes he and Thompson's co-host, former Redskin/Eagle Brian Mitchell , were at each others throats. B. Mitch has been critical of Portis in the past, which prompted the feud, and the DC Sports ...
Jerry Jones Would Like To Take This Opportunity To Let Everyone Know That Ed Hochuli Has Sucked For A While
It's been a rough week for referee Ed Hochuli as The Worst Officiating Call In The History Of The NFL continues to get picked apart by football pundits, fans, and coaches. As pointed out yesterday, Hochuli has been busy apologizing to everyone for his botched whistle-blow in the Chargers/Broncos gam...
All Of The Lateral Flys In The World Could Not Make Ed Hochuli Feel Better Right Now
After Sunday's spastic whistle-blowing by big-armed referee Ed Hochuli cost the San Diego Chargers a victory in their shootout against Denver, the NFL has acted swiftly and strongly, downgrading the 19-year veteran for his error, which could impact his playoff game status and possibly his career. Th...
Florida's Percy Harvin Is Healthy...Hasn't Felt This Good Since 10th Grade
I'm ashamed to admit I've been following the tribulations of Percy Harvin and his heel way too closely. Hoping against hope that he'd be too dinged up early in the season to play against my Vols. Up until recently the enigmatic health situation of Harvin seemed promising, maybe he would be slowed a...
David Foster Wallace, The St. Louis Rams And You
Before we get started, I'd like to say something about David Foster Wallace. David Foster Wallace, Illinois' own, is the best writer I've ever read who I found completely unreadable. I don't mean his non-fiction stuff that had the benefit of editors who, strangely, had a desire for people who read ...
DeSean Jackson's End Zone Brainfartery Will Be Overlooked — For Now
Yes, last night was disappointing in many ways, but it has not completely killed my faith: I still like my team. If anything, last night's Eagles/Cowboys game proved that Donovan McNabb is fully-recovered and that DeSean Jackson, Philadelphia's own Barack Obama, is still on pace to be the greatest E...
Who's Sorry Now? Chris Cooley Edition
The nation is still buzzing over Wienergate; when Redskins tight end Chris Cooley posted a naked photo of himself — including shlong — on his personal blog over the weekend. This has caused much consternation at Clan Cooley; the photo was removed late Sunday, and now Chris has issued a mea culpa. It...
The National Anthem? Josh Howard 'Doesn't Celebrate That S***'
Mark Cuban may want to huddle up with Josh Howard at some point and explain the implications of talking on camera in the YouTube generation. The scene is the Allen Iverson Celebrity Summer Classic flag football game this past July, featuring all of your favorite celebrities; DeAngelo Hall, Larry Joh...
Another Unfortunate High Five-Related Injury
Being a white guy isn't easy, my friends. We can't dance, there's nothing but Coldplay on our iPods, and when we try to high-five during sporting events, there are often tragic results. Witness these Cowboy fans on Monday night, trying to celebrate following a routine pass completion in the second q...