fl Page 1122 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NFL Update 2: Meet Dan Orlovsky
Detroit 10, Minnesota 2. With Jon Kitna out this week [where's your God now, sucka? —Ed.], the Lions turned to their 5th round draft pick of 2005—the man they once called "Dandy Dan" during his days at UConn. Dan didn't take a live snap in 2007. Or 2006. Or 2005. My favorite bit of info about Dandy ...

NFL Update 1: Schaub Picks Up Where Rosenfels Leaves Off
Miami 14, Houston 3 Matt Schaub started off with game with 2 interceptions, showing Sage Rosenfels that if anyone is going to be turning over the ball in a Houston uniform, it's going to be him. Meanwhile, Chad Pennington went bomb crazy to Patrick Cobbs, connecting for 53-yard and 80-yard TDs. St. ...

NFL Maps and Matchups for Week 6 (Updated)
Chicago at Atlanta, 1 PM. Kyle Orton led the league in yards passing last week. He'll need to play well for a third consecutive week as the Bears take on one of the best run-stopping defenses in the Falcons. Roddy White is questionable after sustaining a head injury in practice on Wednesday. Coverag...

Snip My Child's Foreskin, Please!
So what did we learn today? Other than maybe learning that Mack Brown can win the big games, RichRod can't win the little games, and that taking the points against Utah is wallet suicide, I learned this...and I don't have any clue how to react: Friend of Deadspin and unabashed Tim Tebow superfan Dan...

Prop Odds On Sarah Palin's Puck Dropping Skills
I think what I admire most about America — after our vast interstate highway system and the existence of fried elephant ears — is that you can literally bet on anything. The thing I admire most after that, is that a vice-presidential candidate could appear at professional hockey game in Philadelphia...

Kellen Winslow's Out With...Swollen Testicles?
After a summer filled with horrifying testicular injuries in hockey and baseball, it appears Cleveland Browns tight end Kellen Winslow is also having his own nut trouble and will possibly sit out Monday Night's game against the New York Giants. Pro Football Talk, quoting a league source, says that W...

College Football Preview: Texas and Oklahoma Is At NOON (EST) You Drunk Idiots
The biggest week of college football games comes at a good time. Your stocks are tanking, summer is fading, you may or may not get fired in the newest round of layoffs, and you're thinking about getting an MBA or going to law school but you're not sure whether it makes sense to take out the student...

Jerry Jones On Pacman Scuffle: Nothing To See Here. Move Along
First of all, I have a feeling that the movie Max Payne is going to make me want to punch someone myself. Just a hunch. That's evidently what happened on Wednesday with the Cowboys' Pacman Jones, who was at an event for the movie at a Dallas hotel which was also attended by rapper Ludacris and actor...

Kendra Wilkinson Will Skype Your Brains Out
First of all, Playboy Playmate Kendra Wilkinson appears to have broken it off with boyfriend Hugh Hefner (you drop to knees, scream "Nooo!"). And that means that she's free to romp around with the Eagles' Hank Baskett with impunity, although the two are rarely together due to their schedules. The so...

Sarah Palin's Pucksterism Comes to Flyers Opening Night
Yesterday the Philadelphia Flyers announced that a special guest will drop the ceremonial first puck for their home opener against the New York Rangers Saturday night and it's none other than everyone's favorite moose killer, vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Although Palin has no direct ties...

Boys Will Be Boys
The Artist Formerly Known As "Pacman" Jones is in the middle of another troubling incident just a couple of months after his controversial reinstatement back into the NFL. The trouble-making defensive back was reportedly involved in a scuffle with his bodyguard early Wednesday morning that resulted ...

No Way McCain Loses Ohio Now
In politics it's known as the Brady Quinn Bounce, and John McCain has it. Our Cleveland Browns hero made a surprise appearance at a Strongsville, Ohio Republican rally on Wednesday (along with Browns lineman Joe Thomas), where he told enthusiastic McCain-Palin supporters at the Walter F. Ehrnfelt Re...

Well This Seems Rather Harsh
The "greater than" meme; so overworked and cliched that Combudsman Iracane banned it from this site more than a month ago. But over at ESPN, it's cutting edge. The Leader decided to use it in a hard-hitting feature about how Eli Manning has surpassed his brother as the more highly-regarded quarterba...

Thank You Brett Favre, For Teaching Us How To Laugh Once Again
Oh Brett Favre, you and your playful, backwoods prankster antics. In what passes as high-concept comedy in Mississippi and certain portions of Wisconsin, Favre pulled the hilarious gag of leaving a dead animal he had shot in the locker of a Jets teammate. Of course this hasn't been considered origin...

Don't Hassle The Hoch! Ed Hochuli Under Siege Once Again
This photo of Vikings linebacker Chad Greenway grabbing a large helping of Reggie Bush's facemask during the Monday night game was on the front page of the Saints' web site this morning; the franchise's way of protesting the fact that no flag was thrown on the play. The genius part of this is that n...

You Try To Say "176 Punt Return Yards" 12 Times Per Day And See What Comes Out of Your Mouth
Robert Flores, ESPN's live afternoon SportsCenter man, fell victim to the WWL's deadly live television format and stumbled over his words while relaying the Saints/Vikings rundown. (wasn't that bad. Well, he didn't fart. ) Instead of "176 punt return yards" it came out "176 punt retard", which is...

Brad Childress: Our Punter Is A Drooling Moron
Even though the Saints lost MNF due to the improbable late game heroics of Gus Frerrote and the missed opportunities of the Saints (Gramatica), most of the attention is focused on Reggie Bush and his ridiculous punt returns. Bush's 71-yard punt return to the end zone resulted in Vikings coach Brad C...

Oh, For The Days Of Rape And Murder Questions At Debates
The second Presidential debate is tonight, coinciding, quite helpfully, with the first night off of the baseball postseason. I spend about 45 percent of my workday reading political blogs from all sides of the spectrum, some conservative, some (OK, more) liberal, and absolutely none written by tha...

Cowboys Would Like All Those Press Meanies To Cut Them Some Slack
After losing to the Redskins and almost blowing a 17-point lead against the Bengals, Cowboys fans are understandably nervous and the press is beginning to bore in with uncomfortable questions. But the Cowboys would like you to know that this is very upsetting to them. It's a role that Jerry Jones' t...

Eli Manning's House Is Fully Automated; Kind Of Lame
Just say the words "New Jersey condo" and the thought immediately comes to mind; nothing was available in Manhattan? Hey, Eli Manning is quite happy with his new crib, and that's because he barely has to raise a finger when he's there; it's practically all automated. Here we see him in his den where...