fl Page 1135 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kenton Keith Is A Perfect Handcuff Running Back
Colts backup running back Kenton Keith was arrested early Sunday morning for drunk and disorderly conduct and contributing to the delinquency of a minor after cops found him glassy-eyed and disrespectful outside of Cloud 9 nightclub in Indy....
The Patriots Plan On Doing The Faux Perfection Thing Again
It's a grand sports capitalist tradition to trademark a team's or an individual's achievements. Pat Riley grabbed "Threepeat;" Dennis Green, displaying a self-awareness we wouldn't have anticipated, snatched up "They are who we thought they were." The New England Patriots were all over this last ye...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while using science to control the female mind, then going home and heating up a TV dinner... • 7:00 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: Dallas Mavericks at New Orleans Hornets, Game 1. There's a new rule in New Orleans. No billionaires are allowed to enter the locker room. They claim it's not an edi...
This Week's Tasered Athlete: Tim Worley
Wait, you don't remember him? Me neither, so let's revisit his career. Tim Worley was a great running back for the University of Georgia (an All-American, at that) and the seventh overall draft pick by the Pittsburgh Steelers in 1989. He didn't have much of a pro career, lasting only four seasons, r...
We Won't Even Talk About The Pirate Ship On His Ass
All we really know about Mr. John Herold here is that he was arrested for trespassing on Feb. 1, 2008, somewhere in Florida. Now, seeing that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' season ended on Jan. 6, we have to assume that those are permanent tattoos, right? Must have seemed like a good idea at the time. Su...
Roethlisberger Attempts To Renew Classic Steelers/Cowboys Rivalry
Perhaps he was coaxed into saying it by a sound bite-hungry Mike Tirico and Michelle Tafoya. Maybe he was just trying to make the December 7 game between the Cowboys and Steelers a little more melodramatic. Whatever the reason, Big Ben Roethlisberger, drinking champion and clumsy motorcyclist, has s...
Chad Johnson's Attitude Reaches New Level Of Stinko-ness
It was only a couple years ago when Bengals' wide receiver Chad Johnson was cause celebre to NFL fans; his defiance against the league for his wacky endzone celebrations seemed harmless and amusing, even if it did cost his team the occasional 15-yard penalty. He was also quotable, seemingly self-awa...
Your 2008 NFL Schedule Has Arrived
It's here! It's here! And remember, in case you've just become heartsick over the fact that you've glanced over the 17 week schedule and highlighted the appropriate games that may or may not pique your pigskinned interest, ESPN is doing a 2 HOUR special about the NFL's 2008 schedule. Yes, 2 HOURS o...
The Cowboys Have A Preferred Long Distance Provider
They're still constructing the Dallas Cowboys' new stadium, and if you're one of those people who thought the Cowboys were too iconic a franchise to fall prey to stadium naming right, well, stop being so foolish....
Bryant Mercifully Leaves the Booth
Bryant Gumbel does excellent work for HBO Sports, but as a play-by-play announcer for the NFL Network he was terrible. Fortunately both parties came to terms with that fact, and we will no longer be subjected to any of his two-minute "mournings" or legendarily indecisive first down calls. Awful Anno...
Steroids Still Working For Shawne Merriman
Tonight, we assume you are being good Americans and going out on the town to spend, therefore fortifying our flagging economy. However, if you are one of those recluses who spend your Friday night at home getting stoned and watching Animal Planet — and by "Animal Planet," we mean "reruns of Mad Mone...
Alex Smith Is A Little Looser When South Of The Border
Didn't Alex Smith attend college in Utah, where drunkenly attempting to eat girls' faces is prohibited? (unless they're one of your wives, that is). Hey, who cares! We're in Mexico! Finally, my frequent visits to 49ersnews pay off....
This Is What The Dolphins See In (S)Him
These two festive ladies are not your regular Sugar Free Red Bull-guzzling party girls you'd find at Making Time. No, these big, strapping dollies are actually former Michigan offensive lineman. The one with the crutches is Adam Kraus. The one with the shaved belly and blue hair is potential number...
John Elway Is Always Watching You, Jay Cutler
We're hardly a booster of the "hard" "drinking" Jay Cutler, but as Jake Plummer can tell you, it's not easy being a starting quarterback in Denver. (Boy, we're all about Colorado today, aren't we?) Particularly when John Elway is second-guessing him all the time....
South Park, Cheating, And You
“In America, it’s OK to cheat as long as you cheat your way to the top.” What does Stand and Deliver have in common with Bill Belichick? South Park explains....
Terrell Owens: Thespian
Terrell Owens, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver and suicide survivor, is a man who's always had a flair for melodrama. Now, the Pro Bowl receiver will get to utilize some of those off-the-field skills in an upcoming sitcom starring ex-Public Enemy hype man and reality television star, Flavor Flav. The s...
NHL Playoff Preview: The Threes Meet the Sixes
NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck."...
Carl Eller Doesn't Know How Fast He Was Driving
Last week, Daulerio gave you a few tips on how to make it through a potential DUI stop. Former Minnesota Vikings Hall of Famer Carl Eller has a new one, one we hadn't considered: Simply punching the police officer in the face....
NHL Playoff Preview: The Twos Meets The Sevens
NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck."...
The Thumbtack Turns 10
The Tennessee Titans are turning 10 years old this year, which means we have been dealing with that ridiculous logo for a decade now. Old, old, old, all of us....