fl Page 1165 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No One Cares About Your Fantasy Team? WRONG, WHORE!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Looking Sharp, Philadelphia!
If you are watching the Eagles game this Sunday, there is nothing wrong with your television set. Donovan McNabb is still black, and those really are the Eagles uniforms....
Chris Henry Probably Isn't Felonious; Just Dumb
We know what suspended Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry was doing on Sunday; he was watching football with our own MJD. And now we know what he doing the rest of the week; accidentally stealing rental cars....
Welcome Back, Byron
Byron Leftwich, here showcasing his vaunted scrambling ability, has signed a two-year deal with the Atlanta Falcons. It seems like a logical destination, though we hope it doesn't affect Joey Harrington's performance having a guy breathing down his neck. You don't want to mess with a beautiful thing...
Mike Ditka, Socratic Orator
Yesterday, a group of retired athletes, along with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and NFLPA wingnut Gene Upshaw, testified before Congress about the lack of sufficient benefits for former NFL players. This is a noble cause — a lot of these guys can barely walk — but one that we suspect is not helpe...
The Taser Kid Has Unsurprising Tastes
By now, you've heard all about the University of Florida student who broke up Sen. John Kerry's speech and totally didn't want to get Tasered, bro. Well, here's something you might not know about Mr. Andrew Meyer: He's actually a big sports fan, with his own sports blog. You can probably guess his t...
This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole o...
Some Thirsty Folks In Central Florida
A key for fans at any college football game is to stay properly hydrated. It's not like they sell beer there or anything, which means you have to sneak in a flask, and when you're drinking that much absinthe, you're gonna need some water. Unfortunately, the new Central Florida stadium forgot about t...
Jon Kitna Was Sacked For Your Sins
You just knew that when God finally made his presence known to mankind, it would be to heal a journeyman NFL quarterback's minor head injury. So you Iraqi kids with missing limbs, you're just going to have to wait your turn. Jon Kitna's got to take care of business!...
Woe To The Eagles Fans (And Those Who Sit Near Them)
The pregame festivities might have been more exciting than the actual game, but, nevertheless, we're gonna do our best to keep our distance from Eagles fans for the next couple of days....
Your Chance To See Philly Fans In Prime Time
A night game in Philadelphia always seems, to us, like asking for trouble. Even if fans actually do go to work today, if they leave at 5 p.m., they're gonna have enough time to really mess some matters up. Or, you know, paint their bodies....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you spot the guy who stole your Yankees jersey ... • NFL: Washington at Philadelphia. Your entire fantasy team is populated by plyers on these two teams. Enjoy. [ESPN] • MLB: Orioles at Yankees. Baltimore can act as spoiler! Just kidding; they'll lose as usual. [Yes Network] • Golf:...
Leave Bill Belichick Alone!
This guy must have watched the Crazy Britney Fan video at least fifty times to achieve this degree of nuance, and for that I salute him. He also gets a couple points for the Brady jersey. Not sure about the touque, though. I managed not to laugh out loud until near the end, when he slipped in one fi...
Spending Sunday With ... Chris Henry?
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....
Keeping One's Cool Behind Enemy Lines
News and notes from Week 2 in the National Football League....
Tom Brady, LaDainian Tomlinson, And You!
Well, another weekend, another twenty to thirty televised football games. Whew. What a weekend. I've never eaten so much beef jerky in my life! (I really need to take up smoking.) But hey, we're not done yet. No, that would be healthy....
National Wide Receivers Day
Houston 34, Carolina 21. Matt Schaub had his second straight solid start — man, that's a lot of S's — completing 20-of-28 passes for 227 yards and two touchdowns (both to Andre Johnson). On the other side of the ball, Steve Smith caught 8 passes, compiled 153 yards, scored three TDs and fixed a dish...
Four O'clock Is Also A Great Time Of Day
I'll be honest; I'm struggling to keep up with all of this hot football action. It just keeps coming and coming. No wonder Will called in the entire KSK crew to tackle it last weekend. I mean, where the fuck is Tas? Anyway, here's a quick look at the four o'clock schedule....
Where We Stand After Twenty-Four Mins ...
PIT 12, BUF 0 I hope you fantasy team's not playing against Josh — er, Jeff — Reed today: he's got four field goals. And hey, what the hell is up with those Steelers' uniforms? I thought the Bills were playing the Hamilton Tiger Cats for a second....
One O'clock Is A Great Time Of Day
TV? Check. Beer? Check. Potato Chips? Check. Coke? Hold on — *sniff* — check. Fathead wall graphic? Of course! OK, good. You're finally ready to watch some damn football. Here's a quick preview to set the table....