fl Page 1167 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Meet The World's Next Great NFL Prognosticator
Seriously: It's kind of amazing to watch. This is not something we had considered about Kige: That he might, deep down, be Matthew McConaughey from Two For The Money, or whatever that stupid movie was called. We hope he will be able to resist the siren song of Big Money Vegas when Al Pacino calls. B...

Introducing The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW. He might have finally mastered it. This morning, we allow him to introduce his invention to the planet....

The Patriots Are Always Watching
As this photo from the Patriots-Jets game would seem to indicate, New England may be guilty of stealing New York's defensive signals from the sidelines during their game on Sunday. Of course, why they would do such a thing is another matter ... it's like Lisa Simpson peaking at Ralph Wiggum's test a...

Please, No More MNF Doubleheaders
We're not sure why, exactly, we feel compelled to write about a game that we spent four hours writing about last night and just ended about eight hours ago ... and, oh yeah, was completely miserable to watch. But, alas, here we are....

Buzzsaw-49ers MNF Live Blog
All right, we'll tell you right now: This is a terrible idea. Not only have we been up since 4:15 this morning, but we're also in the odd position of attempting to type non-stop, for three hours, about the season opener of a team for which we have an emotional connection. And we're going to do it ...

Monday Night Football Returns ... And An Invitation
We noted that during the preseason, we enjoyed the work of the revamped "Monday Night Football" team; replacing Joe Theismann with Ron Jaworski really did make that much of a difference. But that was preseason....

Naked Canadians Sprinting
Apparently, a radio station in Canada was encouraging fans to break the all-time streaking record, which is something the security force for the Stampeders just loved to hear. We count four in this video, though, frankly, there are really just three; that wuss who just ran around shirtless absolutel...

OK, That's It, You're Grounded
Jason Krause is a nice kid who should be home watching The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, not speculating on the Lions' chances of winning 10 games this season. My favorite part is when he says of Roy Williams: "You want to hear something freakish, Roy? Look at your record; the Lions haven't had a win...

Welcoming Back The Smorgasbord
Longtime sports blog aficionados will remember the weekly Sunday Afternoon Smorgasbord, a real-time account of a full Sunday of NFL action by the great Mighty MJD. We are humbled and honored to welcome it back to the Internets, on our little site here, starting today. Take it away, MJD....

Inside Jason Elam's Incredible Kick
Stefan Fatsis, the author of Word Freak, sportswriter (on leave) from the Wall Street Journal and sports commentator on NPR's "All Things Considered," knows kickers. His upcoming book, A Few Seconds Of Panic, is about the modern NFL as experienced by Fatsis, a 5-8, 170-pound writer embedded as a kic...

NFL Week One Roundup Of Random Notes And Bullet Points, As Is The Style
Thoughts on the first weekend of the NFL ... so glad to have it back ......

Jason Elam Will Steal Your Children In Broad Daylight
Comparisons of the NFL's opening weekend to March Madness have never rang truer. If you caught the end of the Broncos and Bills, you know exactly what we mean....

Four o'clock games at a glance...
What in the blue hell is up with this Taco Bell commercial where cops are doling out high-fives while strings of cheese hanging out of their mouths? Are we supposed to find that appetizing?...

Some First Half Updates...Quickly
Since all of us PC folk are now watching these games via streaming video, these updates are just for you Mac people. But, hey, Jeff Goldblum still thinks, uh, that you're, ah, a great guy-ee!...

NFL Pants Party: Super Bowl XLII
We're five long months away from the Super Bowl, and a lot can happen each week to change the complexion of the league. Still, it's worth trying to pick your Super Bowl teams now, because if your picks do turn out to be correct, you can be that one fuckface that runs around bragging about how you pr...

...AND WE ARE UNDERWAY!
By the way, this is exactly what the games will look like on my TV, but I don't give a shit. Football is finally back! We'll be in and out, and we'll have updates as we go. Enjoy the games, everyone, and check back when the assgrooves in your respective pieces of furniture need a quick breather....

Your One O'Clock Games...Quickly
Some of you have DirecTV. Most of you don't. In that case, here are some of the sweet games the the NFL has deemed your area unworthy to watch....

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Last year, MJD provided you with regional coverage maps for the NFL, and we're happy to have located them once again. Click on the links to find the game in your area, plus the assigned announcing team:...

A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football (Take 2)
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...

Here On ... CBSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This is without question our favorite. If you can actually watch this and stop yourself from saying, "You are looking LIVE! at Soldier Field in Chicago," you are a stronger person than we are....