fl Page 1198 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Don't Expect Your Rec League To Adopt These
These, friends, are the future of college basketball uniforms, and that future is: SPANDEX! OK, not quite Spandex, but there's certainly a skin-tight vibe going on for the four teams who will supposedly try out the new duds during their conference championships this week: Ohio State, Syracuse, Flori...

Kevin McHale Is The Best General Manager In The History Of Sports
Forbes came up with a system to rank all of the general managers currently working in sports. Kevin McHale ranks first. Forbes needs a new system....

The Money's Out There, You Pick It Up, It's Yours
Let's get caught up again with the orgy of NFL free agent activity. If you're an NFL player, and your agent couldn't work it out so you were a free agent this off-season, you should probably fire him....

Jake Plummer Will Spread Peace Everywhere But Tampa Bay
You've probably heard by now that Jake Plummer threatened to retire from the NFL just as the Broncos were attempting to trade him to Tampa Bay. Jake is serious with the retirement talk, according to those close to him, and he just might spend that retirement making the world a better place. Via Mich...

NFL General Managers Make It Rain
The first twenty-four hours of the NFL's free agency period have come and gone. There was a flurry of activity last evening ... let's get ourselves caught up....

Bristol Tailors Better Start Working On His Suits Right Now
As pretty much everybody knew already, Bill Parcells is trading spending his days with Terrell Owens for the chance to spend them with Chris Berman. We'd call that "a lateral move." Parcells is happy to be back in Bristol....

Hey, Who's Funnier Than Peyton Manning?
You know, when you're talking freewheeling, classic sketch comedy, well, jeez, you're obviously talking about Peyton Manning....

Joey Porter Might Take This As Somewhat Of A Lack Of Respect
One of the funniest pieces by one of the funniest writers we know: The Mighty MJD's great Letter From Joey Porter's Pit Bull, in which the canine shows the same distaste for perceived disrespect as his notoriously batshit insane owner. Porter is amazing to watch because everything infuriates him; if...

Brian Urlacher, Gleefully Handsy
What better way to start off your Friday morning than a Facebook photo of Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher grabbing a boob. A real, natural boob, too!...

Ricky Williams, Now 57 Percent More Deep!
The ludicrously stretched gentleman here — if we could do that, we'd never leave the house! — is Ricky Williams, and if you're the type to never get tired of Ricky Williams stories, well, here's another one....

Pacman Can't Even Remember All His Arrests
Some more fun with Pacman Jones: It appears he is facing charges for obstructing police in Georgia, charges that his Titans bosses didn't even know about....

Pacman Jones' Family, They Just Don't Understand
You know, it's one thing when a drug dealer is concerned about your personal safety. But jeez, when your family is this concerned about you, jeez, it's all over....

Praise The Lord And Pass The Seasoned Buckshot
It's a dilemma that has plagued hunters for centuries: When stalking in the woods, how do I keep deer from seeing me pray? The answer: The camo bible, guaranteed to fool even the most devout grouse, squirrel or beaver, so that you may blast them to Kingdom Come; just as God intended. We recommend th...

Drug Dealers Are Terrible Character Witnesses
Time for a Pacman Jones update, because now that all the newspapers are finally catching up on the story of his weekend in Vegas, we figured we should help keep them updated. (With a local TV news, of course.) Turns out, one of Pacman's buddies is a drug dealer in Tennessee, and he was taped recentl...

Dick Vitale, Not Surprisingly, Can't Figure Out His Phone
It is perhaps not surprising that MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER Dick Vitale would have trouble using basic cellular technology, but it is surprising that Vitale might actually say something off-camera that could be construed as "controversial." Or, for that matter, that he would say anything; we always assum...

Sure, Coach, I'll Take Some
University of Central Florida basketball head coach has some to give, and he doesn't quite know who to share it with. So he asks. And then, oh, does he give it out....

The First Rule Of The Super Bowl Is, You Do Not Talk About The Super Bowl... Or The Big Game
The NFL, of course, has the term "Super Bowl" trademarked, so you can't use those particular words to promote any kind of a party or gathering for the event. Not only is it illegal, but if you close your eyes and say "Super Bowl" three times, Ed Hochuli will appear in front of you and rip your godda...

Broncos RB Damien Nash Is Dead At 24
Nash collapsed after a charity basketball game he was hosting, and was pronounced dead at 6:41 p.m. No details or cause of death are available as of the time of this post....

I Agree Completely, He Really Shouldn't Have Made It Rain
I hope that one more post doesn't overdo it on the Pacman Jones story, but I did particularly enjoy this report from WSMV in Nashville. One line in particular really does tell you all you need to know. "He shouldn't have made it rain, then." Yes....

Dominic Rhodes Has A Secret That's Running Down His Leg
Earlier this week, when would-be Super Bowl MVP Dominic Rhodes was arrested for a DUI, we kind of let it pass. DUIs happen all the time, are more tragic than funny and there didn't seem to be any extenuating circumstances about the arrest. He was pulled over, he was over the legal limit, he got bust...