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NFL Week Seven, Update #3
• Redskins 14, Colts 13. Not only did the people of Indianapolis have to deal with the fright of seeing Peyton Manning's body's body get bent in the opposite direction that Kenny Chesney usually bends it, but the Colts are losing to the underdog Redskins. Manning's fine, I guess it's not that big of...
NFL Week Seven, Update #2
• Buccaneers 23, Eagles 21. Tampa Bay kicker Matt Bryant has a leg like Tom Jones's dick. Bryant hit a 62-yarder with no time left on the clock to give the Buccaneers the win, and actually put them on a little bit of a winning streak. Donovan McNabb threw for over 300 yards and three touchdowns, b...
NFL Week Seven, Update #1
• Panthers 14, Bengals 7. Three touchdowns in the game, but none of them belong to Steve Smith or Chad Johnson. For Carolina, it's been the electric Nick Goings and the human highlight reel, Kris Mangum. For the Bengals, it's someone named "R. Kelly," and I think hs first name is Reggie, but I'm not...
Week 7 NFL Preview: Fox Finally Gets To Use Their Steve Hutchinson Cam
Vikings @ Seahawks. They've dubbed it the Steve Hutchinson Bowl, which might be the lamest and least-exciting name ever given to a game that isn't actually a bowl game (I believe the Poulan Weedeater Bowl still trumps all). But while the name might be goofy, there appears to be something to it: th...
Revenge Of The Nerds
Our first thought when we heard of the NFL "terror threat" on Thursday? Al Qaeda is slipping; Osama is just phoning it in at this point. As Sportsocracy pointed out (in a post we mentioned on Thursday), three of the seven prospective terror targets were hosting afternoon games. What, the terrorist...
You Can Shove Your Sorrys In A Sack, Mister
The week began with violence and bravado, but has concluded in ignominious regret. Yes, it's time for the "sorry" roundup. And while none of these apologies rise to the level of that of that of the great Pete Rose, rest assured that all of the participants are nonetheless terribly filled with sham...
Sir, Please Allow Me To Retort
The Bills play the Patriots this weekend, and, just for shits and giggles, we present you this video of a Bills fan from last year who would like everyone to know that, in his opinion, the Bills have a more skilled roster and a better coaching stuff than the Patriots....
All Your NFL Stadiums Are Belong To Us
Apparently, unlike some people, the Associated Press has no problem with what "underground" Web sites report. According to AP — in a Wednesday post on ESPN — an Internet site claimed that seven NFL stadiums will be hit with dirty bombs this weekend....
You Don't Like Your Team As Much As Browns Fans Do
This is old, but we hadn't seen it: Some magazine or something ranked all 32 NFL teams on their fan loyalty. We like little lists like this, but we're kind of Tourettic....
A Man Like This Has No Business On A "Practice Squad"
Guess who's back everybody!...
The Last Time We're Gonna Talk About This Game
All right, we're gonna talk about this one more time, and then if you bring it up again, we're totally not giving you a cookie....
Also, We're Pretty Sure That's A Facemask Penalty
Welcome to Brawlgate, Day 4, as fallout continues from Saturday's melee between the Hurricanes and Golden Panthers. The Atlantic Coast and Sun Belt Conferences handed out 31 one-game suspensions late Sunday — 18 for Florida International, 13 for Miami — but, as they say, a new wind was about to blow...
"The Bears Are Who We THOUGHT They Were!"
We're gonna talk a bit more about last night's Buzzsaw implosion a little later, but we really felt we had to start the day with coach Dennis Green — who is pretty obviously going to be fired before this season ends — putting forth one of the true great postgame press conference explosions. We still...
God, We Hate The Buzzsaw
It is a sublime pleasure, TOTALLY, for a national audience to see just exactly what life is like as a fan of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. Jesus. Welcome to the desert, Matt....
Welcome To The NFL, Matty
Because everyone we talk to in St. Louis says it's been raining all day and is likely to rain all night, so we are less than optimistic that we'll see the NLCS Game 5 tonight. Therefore, we must receive our sporting fix tonight from Monday Night Football, or, as we like to call it, "Tony Kornheiser ...
Back To You In The Booth, Lamar
So it may not come as a surprise to anyone that more suspensions have come down following the steel cage match between the University of Miami and Florida International football teams on Saturday. A total of 31 players have been dinged — and must sit out their respective games this weekend — 18 from...
NFL Roundup: Payton's Saints Run
News and notes from Week 6 in the NFL ......
NFL Week Six, Update #4
• NY Jets 20, Miami 10. There's really nothing left to be decided today, though I suppose Miami could pull off a comeback. But if they do, I probably couldn't even pretend to care. Chris Chambers just caught a touchdown pass to cut the lead to 10 in the fourth quarter, but I think it's asking a litt...
NFL Week Six, Update #3
• Jets 3, Dolphins 0. The NFL should step in and stop this game at halftime. It is a black mark on the entire league, their image, and their commitment to provide their fans with a quality product. Joey Harrington is 7-of-13 for 0 touchdowns and 2 interceptions. Chad Pennington has a total of 56 yar...
NFL Week Six, Update #2
• New Orleans 27, Philadelphia 24. The Eagles came out in the second half and just bumrushed the Eagles, but the Saints got a John Carney field goal with :03 on the clock for the win. Say what you want about the Eagles, but... without them, this season would've been a lot less interesting....