fl Page 1219 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Reggie Bush Might Beat Your Ass In A Mall
The fine folks at TMZ, after months of accosting celebrities as they drunkenly walked out of clubs, finally had their breakthrough last week with the Mel Gibson "sugar tits" story, which not only horrified Jews and Gentiles alike, but also ruined a classic pickup line forever. They're all over the p...
New NFL Commissioner Somehow Looks Like Less Of A Dork
In case you missed the live-blogging of the whole gripping experience yesterday, the NFL owners elected Roger Goodell their new commissioner yesterday, making him the third commissioner of the league in the last 46 years. (We can't believe that's true, by the way; there have been more popes, for cry...
"Interests: Redskins, Clubs And GETTIN' DRUNK"
It just wouldn't be the NFL without some truly obsessed, frightening fans, and we've got some pretty worthy ones in the Dead Tree Crew, backers of the Washington Redskins and almost certainly the type of guys who beat up Daniel Snyder in high school....
You Got Neil Rackers, Yo
All right, so we know this isn't real, and we know it's just an NFL promotional video (for a product we don't use; we prefer Yahoo for our all fantasy games, to be honest with you), but we still could not resist....
Live Blogging People Walking Through Hotels
The guy right here is Roger Goodell, who is very likely to become the next commissioner of the NFL, perhaps as early as today. In the past, discussions concerning the new commissioner were contentious; Paul Tagliabue himself was the product of an ugly power play that pushed out the late Jim Finks....
At This Point, They Should Probably Just Have A Lockup Near Camp
What more can we tell you: Another Bengal got arrested. This time it was Bootsy Collins favoite left guard Eric Steinbach, who was arrested for operating a boat under the influence on Saturday night. He was, in fact, in the water at the time, though we admit it would be funnier if he weren't. He i...
Go Toward The Light, Emmitt
You thought that finishing his career flat on the turf of Sun Devil Stadium was the most embarassing final image of all-time rushing champ Emmitt Smith one could come up with....
Do NOT Mess With This Woman
We have always assumed that if a woman were to end up breaking through to compete on the highest professional athletic level, it would not be as a kicker, as has often been tried: It would be as a knuckleball pitcher in baseball. It doesn't hinge on strength, endurance or speed; it just requires pra...
Oxnard Must Be An Entertaining Camp
Few athletes give us more joy, in a "Jeez, look how far this idiot has fallen" type of way, than former Eagles dope Freddie Mitchell. Last time we checked in with him, he was considering offers from Jon Bon Jovi's team in the Arena League....
And Just Like That, The NFL Returns
Hey, everybody, there was football yesterday!...
Real Pro Football Back on NBC
The Eagles play the Raiders tonight, which may be of some interest to fans in Oakland, Philadelphia, and various penitentiaries throughout the nation. But, since preseason football is mostly boring, the debut of interest tonight is that of the NFL on NBC crew....
Steelers + Motorcycles = Bad News
Jealous of all the attention devoted to Ben Roethlisberger and his motorcycle, Steelers offensive lineman Barrett Brooks took to the streets last night. He "drove recklessly around a police car," which is never a good idea....
The NFL Finally Cracks Down On The Evil Silent Count
The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review gets into some of the rule changes that the NFL is making this year, and some of them, I wasn't aware of. One big rule seems designed to make it harder for teams to use a "silent count" in a loud building, limiting that way that offensive linemen can move before the sna...
The B Sample Cannot Save Floyd
Floyd Landis's fall from grace appears to be complete. They finally got around to testing his B sample this morning, and - surprise, surprise - it was as tainted as a Paris Hilton pap smear. It's a little sad, but to be honest, it's probably more fun for American sports fans to have another doper to...
If You Gotta Go, That's A Nice Way To Do It
It has been a while, but remember way back about a year ago, when a huge Steelers fan — who just missed a fun season, by the way — was buried in his recliner surrounded by Steelers garb?...
Finally Making Some Money Off Southeast Jerome
Fully capitalizing on something it stumbled across last season, the official Redskins site Redskins.com is now selling T-shirts adorned with every Clinton Portis character from his press conferences last year. Those who were with us last season will remember our schoolgirl crush on Portis, particu...
God, Training Camp Is So Disgusting
Far be it from us to tell any football team how to run their business, particularly during the big petri dish of sweat and blood and all kinds of other disgusting things in the midst of training camp, but we suspect a new policy the 'Skins have put into place might have been worthwhile to institut...
Buyer Beware ... And Beware Again ... And Beware Again
In a classic Oh, Now You Tell Us moment, Philadelphia owner Jeffrey Lurie has suddenly realized that, aw, jeez, maybe it wasn't actually the best of ideas to bring in wide receiver Terrell Owens....
More Corporations Fighting Over Our Cash
Despite our rather obvious and unapologetic Midwest Bias, we do actually live in Manhattan. That means, of course, we pay triple market value for an apartment the size of your closet, we're constantly showing family members from back home the same four landmarks and, most important, we have never wa...
Wanted: One Huge NY Giants Fan
If you're looking to score a sweet New York Giants season ticket, take a look at this from Craig's List, and act fast. Only one catch: You must wear a sumo wrestler-style fat suit for each game. It seems that the "Fat Suit Fans" are down one member and are looking for a replacement. Other caveats in...