fl Page 1229 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Culpepper Now Free To Have Naked Women Dance In His General Vicinity (But There, And Only There)
New Dolphins quarterback Daunte Culpepper need not worry about the potential new ramifications of the term "lap dance" from jail; he has been cleared of all charges in the sex boat incident. His former teammate Moe Williams was not so lucky; he'll still have to strand trial, along with decidedly m...

"Wow, It's Us. Hey, It's Us. Yo, Check It Out, It's Us."
Via Gawker, the fine folks at Silver Jacket captured this image from last night's national championship game....

It's Never The Crime, It's Always The Coverup ...
We know football season is five months off, but it may take that long to unravel this mystery. At the risk of going all CSI: Crime Scene Investigation on you, we present the photo above, sent in from a reader with the following note attached:...

That Really Should Have Been More Fun
As they say, the NCAA Tournament went out with a whimper rather than a bang, a flurp rather than a woosh, a squat thrust rather than a jumping jack. Florida hammered UCLA to win the national championship last night, and some of you might have been lucky to have made it until the end. The Gators do...

Who Would Win A Fight Between A Bruin And A Gator?
Perhaps there is something to the claims of those who say that all the early upsets in the NCAA Tournament has diminished interest in the late rounds; we're feeling a palpable lack of interest in tonight's national championship game between UCLA and Florida. Of course, that might be different if G...

Amazon.com Has Your Potentially Flawed Merchandise
As many of you have pointed out to us today, Amazon.com made a bit of a mistake this morning, sending out an email to pretty much anyone who has ever bought anything sports-related on the site imploring them to be "the first to see our selection of NCAA championship products."...

The Best Way To Personalize Your Plates
Spotted by a reader on the Upper West Side of Manhattan this weekend. This is not our car. Oh, but if it were....

One Depressing Sports Weekend
We don't mean to overstate this, but Saturday was a disappointing an evening for college basketball as we can remember. It's not just that George Mason lost to Florida, or even that they lost so convincingly. Their legend had been secured simply by making it to Indianapolis at all; any mid-major w...

Cinderella Mauled By Gator
The lead is 13 with under four minutes to play. I just don't see it happening, Patriots. And you know, I'd be upset about it if you were losing to a less likable team, but I've no issues with Florida. If this was UConn, I'd be pounding my head against the monitor right now....

Gators vs. Patriots: 5:16, Second Half
Mason's chipping back into a little bit, but Florida just keeps hitting threes. The game has certainly taken on a Florida kind of pace. Florida's up 13....

Gators vs. Patriots: 11:49, Second Half
I didn't catch much of the halftime, but man... Adam Morrison is hurting. They gave him the Chevrolet Player of the Year, and I think the man is clinically depressed. He looked down, talked softly, had nothing to say, and he hasn't washed his hair in over a month. I feel like writing him a letter ...

Gators vs. Patriots: Halftime
I was wrong about the new batch of commercials, by the way. The lame Southwest "Wanna get away?" commercials are back in the rotation, as is that fucking Capitol One angel....

Gators vs. Patriots: 3:48, First Half
I think I could watch Jai Lewis do just about anything and be entertained. Patient, smooth, controlled, quick... all at 275 pounds. I could probably even be talked into buying a Jai Lewis gay sex tape....

Gators vs. Patriots: 9:50, First Half
Hey, a Dick Vitale commercial for DiGiorno's. A few minutes ago, I felt like ordering pizza. I was really considering it. I've completely lost the taste for it, though....

Gators vs. Patriots: 1st TV Timeout
Sometimes I hate Jim Nantz and his dramatic voice. When you say "Jim Nantz and Billy Packer," there no reason to make it sound like you're doing a Jack Nicklaus career retrospective at Augusta National....

The Best Damn... April Fools Joke.
Okay, I was had, and I am dumb A couple of readers have written in (and my thanks to them) to tell me that the "fight" between Michael Strahan and Tom Arnold on The Best Damn Sports Show was, in fact, an April Fools Joke. My congratulations to everyone involved. I didn't think those guys were capa...

Best Damn Sports Show Fight
So if you missed Friday night's episode of The Best Damn Sports Show (and how could you?), check about the above video. Tom Arnold and Michael Strahan get into kind of a little sissy chair fight. And Michael Strahan did not win. He's on the ground making noises like he's hurt, cursing at Arnold, who...

Your NL East "Preview"
It is important to point out, before we start predicting our final division, that we have picked a team other than the Braves to win the division for five consecutive years. As if you needed any more assurance that our predictions are always wrong....

It's A Final Four Pants Party
Obviously, the best story at this weekend's Final Four in Indianapolis is George Mason, but we've found the best story of that best story: It turns out that until this weekend, the George Mason fight song had no lyrics. Seriously; they had to write a whole batch just because the NCAA was asking fo...