fl Page 1234 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Owens Has Plenty Of Time To Party
Tomorrow night, in Atlantic City, N.J. — "we're like Vegas, only, you know, with more cutoff T-shirts with "I'm With Stupid" printed on them" — former Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens will celebrate his 32nd birthday. ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported that invitations were left in Eagles players' ...
NFL Roundup: "I Disagree With Your Decision And Shall Protest Thusly"
• It's funny, because if you remember when Guenther Cunningham actually coached the Chiefs, you'd understand that here, he's just giving his unique signal to go for two. • It's like the Chargers suddenly remembered that Marty Schottenheimer's their coach. • Anybody see the new ESPN magazine? (Anyb...
The Bears Might Not Be Very Good
The Steelers have been plowing through the Bears like a Peter King through a grande double caramel mocha egg nog latte. The Bears are moving the ball with only minimal efficency, which is not surprising. But what is surprising is the ease with which the Steelers have moved the ball. Willie Parker ...
Setting The 1 o'clock Table...
• Chicago @ Pittsburgh. The Bears will be without safety Mike Brown and starting right guard Terrence Metcalf. Pittsburgh will be without any healthy joints on their starting quarterback. And can someone explain to me why Pittsburgh is a 6-point favorite here? • Indianapolis @ Jacksonville. Many p...
Birds get their claws back
CAW. CAW. Or, you know, whatever kind of a frightening noise a cardinal might make......
"Talkin' 'Bout 87, My Homey Reggie Wayne"
Meet Lil Ronnie. He's a 12-year-old from the "south side" (of Indianapolis) and he don't take nuttin' from no Colts playa haters....
Bro Sweets Will Juice You Up
Clinton Portis was back yesterday with yet another fractured segment of his personality, this one somewhat sweeter than the past ones, literally even. We proudly introduce "Bro Sweets," Clinton's most recent tortured mental sliver....
Athlete Run-In: Where There Is Tom, There Is Tara
Today's final athlete run-in story is timely, because it involves current Sports Illustrated Sportsman Of The Year Tom Brady. We've documented Brady's nightlife exploits before, but this one has an even more fun addition: Tara Reid! From Scott in Kansas City:...
Not Even Playmates Can Watch The Eagles
It is not a fun time to be a Philadelphia Eagles fan, a fact that has been recognized by the fine folks at the Philadelphia Eagles "Blog Squad." How ever to juice up assuredly sagging Sitemeter rankings?...
Florida State's Diligent Student Body
Hey, remember yesterday, when we did that post about Florida State fans dressing all slooty-like? Well, turns out — as a couple of you mentioned in the comments yesterday — the ladies in the pictures are rather famous around Tallahassee, which we supposed shouldn't be a surprise....
Lions Fans Turning To Prostitution
We'll be honest: We've considering doing this. An enterprising Lions fan, fed up with the historic run of bad football team has put up over the Matt Millen era, is putting \his fandom up for auction on eBay. Currently, it's up to $10.51, and even though we can come up with a few better ways to spend...
Here Come The Rosenhaus Defections
The first domino has fallen. Yesterday, in a move that everyone knew was coming but hadn't been made official, Packers wide receiver Javon Walker fired Drew Rosenhaus as his agent. The move is the first of what many expect to be several defections from Rosenhaus' stable of clients, considering he ...
The Face Of Lesbian Cheerleader Terror
All right, thanks to Gambling911.com (now that Oddjack's gone, there are all kinds of sites we're gonna have to keep an eye on), we have a picture of Melissa Holden, the woman punched by Carolina Panthers cheerleader Renee Thomas after Holden interrupted Thomas' and Angela Keathley's Commode Copul...
The Lady The Lesbian Cheerleader Punched
Anybody still care about the Carolina Panthers lesbian cheerleaders? Anyone? Jeez, all right, all right, not all at once, people, settle down, sheesh....
Athlete Run-Ins: The Calm Bill Romanowski
Today's first athlete run-in story is about one of our favorite targets around here: Former NFL steroid freak Bill Romanowski, from Tia in Denver. Important to note in this story that Tia is female....
Why Steve Smith Will Always Be Second
A friend of ours yesterday was asking us why, in our unprofessional opinion, Chad Johnson receives so much love for his touchdown celebrations while the Panthers' Steve Smith, who scores more touchdowns, catches more passes and does his own fair share of creative celebrating, is barely noticed. We...
NFL Roundup: Bengal Breakthrough
• As Arizona Cardinals fans, we always wonder what the day will be like when, after years of torture, our team finally breaks through and shows they're serious about this whole winning business. It must have been that exciting for Bengals fans yesterday. Realize: A baby born the last time the Beng...
Fe Is The Symbol For Iron. So You Know.
It's a pivotal week for Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson. No, no, not the AFC North-deciding game against the longtime nemesis Steelers at Heinz Field, silly. Johnson has officially raised the bar by proclaiming that he will perform the "best touchdown celebration ever" when he scores against Pi...
Portis Becomes Depressingly Self-Questioning
Ladies and gentleman, we present to you, after a one-week hiatus for Thanksgiving, Redskins running back Clinton Portis' newest creation: "Reverend Gonna Change," with those pretty crazy teeth and hair and the whole thing. On our scale, this ranks above "Dollah Bill" but behind "Dr. I-Don't-Know."...
Beleaguered "NFL Countdown" Closed Captioning Typists Get One-Week Reprieve
We were on a very slow-moving piece of public transportation and therefore are just hitting the late news: Michael Irvin has been suspended for one week following his arrest last Friday for having a "pipe" in his car. This is only two days after handsomely named ESPN exec Norby Williamson said "Ri...