florida-panthers Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Playoff hockey is stupid anyway
The NHL Playoffs gets its jollies from defying logic or explanation, and reveling in its unpredictability. That doesn’t mean it’s always a free-for-all, as hockey and its fans would have you believe. But it delves into the chaos and silliness more often than its brethren, that’s for sure....
The Florida Panthers are apparently done being good or interesting
We’re still very much in a time where teams in any sport are going to overreact to playoff results. They have 82 or 162 games of sample size where they play everyone and aren’t confined to one matchup with one team at one time with one status of health, but whatever happens in four to seven games st...
Is the NHL’s Presidents’ Trophy curse real?
The Florida Panthers breezed through the first round of the playoffs and then got bounced from the second round so fast we barely had time for the annual discourse about the Presidents’ Trophy and whether it’s a curse for a team’s Stanley Cup hopes....
You should root for the Florida Panthers
I know there’s a lot of obstacles. First off, hockey is probably the most provincial sport we have, and once everyone’s team is out, those fans tend to not give a fuck about whatever happens next. We’ve spent so much time coming up with reasons to hate everyone else it’s impossible to change gears. ...
We are too broken and hopeless to deserve a Maple Leafs-Panthers series
At least for one night, I didn’t manage to motherfuck something. The Toronto Maple Leafs and Florida Panthers put on a hockey game dressed as Calvinball last night, with the Cats getting a 7-6 win in OT. It wasn’t even that simple, if a 7-6 game can ever be simple....
No one is prepared for the Florida Panthers to be this good
Mason Marchment had his first career hat trick Friday night, leading the Florida Panthers to a 6-2 rout of the Minnesota Wild in a game that could be a Stanley Cup Final preview....
It was a very NHL day in the NHL
No one does “all over the map” quite like the NHL. And almost all of it is by accident, because there isn’t a guiding light to the league as to what it wants to be, or how it would get there if it did. Stuff just happens every day in this league, most of it makes you slap your forehead. Though somet...
You’re back on the case, Bobrovsky!
You probably don’t remember Dan O’Toole and Jay Onrait. They were the Canadian SportsCentre guys (yes, the e goes there up north) that Fox Sports brought in to host its competitor to SportsCenter (with the e where it belongs down here) when FS1 launched. You don’t remember the former, because no one...
Was it worth it, Joel?
A day late, and really 11 years late, Joe Quenneville resigned from his head coaching gig, though now it’s with the Florida Panthers. Quenneville was cowardly and disgustingly allowed to be behind the bench Wednesday night for the Cats, not even an hour after Kyle Beach had poured his heart out on T...
Strip Jonathan Toews of his captaincy and set the NHL on fire
(TW: Sexual assault)...
Ain’t a Sheet of Ice North of Fargo I Ain’t Played: NHL’s Return Preview – Eastern Conference
The winter sports and their summer bubbles return to us this weekend, because we’re descending into the Upside-Down. The NHL has decamped to Toronto and Edmonton, with a modified playoff system kicking straight off on Saturday. It’s a bit run-before-you-can-walk, with each team only getting one pres...
The Florida Panthers Found Their Goalie
The reinvention of the Florida Panthers continued today with a massive new contract for free agent goaltender Sergei Bobrovsky, worth a reported $70 million over the next seven years. By signing the two-time Vezina winner and former Blue Jacket, the Panthers hope that they’ve captured a key ingredie...
The Panthers Landed Joel Quenneville, So Now You Might Have To Care About Them
The Florida Panthers cut off what could have been a long and dramatic summer of negotiation and landed the most coveted coach on the market just a few days after their disappointing year came to an end. Three-time Stanley Cup winner Joel Quenneville, who was fired early in the season by the Blackhaw...
Justin Williams Sacrificed His Face To Score The Hurricanes' Opening Goal Against The Panthers
The question of whether an intact face is more valuable to a hockey player than a goal in the regular season has plagued sports philosophers for generations, and now it’ll be a question that Hurricanes elder Justin Williams will be asking himself often, at least in the near future....
Wow: This Wildly Successful Person Once Cared About The Florida Panthers
What a blast from the past: That kid with the toothy smile who’s enjoying a ride on the ice resurfacer is none other than famous musician and Boca Raton native Ariana Grande. When she was a mere tyke, this flourishing and otherwise normal person went to a number of Florida Panthers games. That’s rig...
The Penguins-Panthers Trade Makes Sense For Everyone
Everyone look away from basketball for a second, we have a hockey trade!...
Erik Gudbranson And Micheal Haley Fought A Proper Boxing Round On The Ice
For unexperienced hockey fighters, there may not be any real strategy to winning a brawl other than “flail more intensely and accurately than your opponent” and “hold on so you don’t fall on your ass.” But when two properly trained punchers square up on the ice, the resulting competition can be as c...
More Than You Probably Wanted To Know About The Rules On A Puck Hitting A Ref's Dick And Balls
Just an excellent hockey highlight from Tuesday’s 4-3 Blues win over the Panthers, as St. Louis defenseman Robert Bortuzzo—fresh off of beating the hell out of a teammate in practice—tried to dump in a puck and ended up banking it off of referee Tim Peel’s biscuits, past goalie Roberto Luongo, and i...
Goal Disallowed After Puck Ricochets Off Unfortunate Referee's Dick And Balls
The Florida Panthers are up on the St. Louis Blues by the score of 1–0 in the second period Tuesday night. The score looked for a moment like it would be tied at one goal apiece, after Blues defenseman Robert Bortuzzo beat Roberto Luongo in, um, unconventional fashion:...
Vincent Trocheck Taken Off Ice On Stretcher After His Leg Does Several Wrong Things All At Once
Vincent Trocheck of the Florida Panthers was stretchered off the ice Monday night after twisting and bending his right leg in horrifying fashion. In hockey parlance, this is just another lower body injury; in layman’s terms, Trocheck’s leg bends too far at the knee, and in too many directions below ...