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The NCAA Will Never Give UCF A Chance
The College Football Playoff bracket was set yesterday—pitting Alabama against Oklahoma and Clemson against Notre Dame—and for the second year in a row, the undefeated UCF Knights are nowhere to be found. Just as they had to settle for the Peach Bowl against Auburn last season, UCF will play LSU, a...
Harrowing McKenzie Milton Injury Update Includes The Phrase "Blood Flow Has Been Restored"
Friday afternoon UCF star quarterback McKenzie Milton went directly from the 25-yard line of Raymond James Stadium, where he was writhing in agony with his leg bent in a very wrong direction, to Tampa General Hospital, where he underwent surgery. He’s still there today, and his family says there are...
Central Florida Quarterback McKenzie Milton Carted Off After Gruesome Knee Injury
Central Florida star quarterback McKenzie Milton took a shotgun snap on third-and-7 in Friday’s game against South Florida and, after a play-action fake, kept the ball and raced around the right end of the defense, where he ran into a pair of South Florida defenders, one of whom went low. What happe...
Vincent Trocheck Taken Off Ice On Stretcher After His Leg Does Several Wrong Things All At Once
Vincent Trocheck of the Florida Panthers was stretchered off the ice Monday night after twisting and bending his right leg in horrifying fashion. In hockey parlance, this is just another lower body injury; in layman’s terms, Trocheck’s leg bends too far at the knee, and in too many directions below ...
Marco Rubio: The Recount Is Like Booting The Helmet Sport Ball Through The Yellow Poles
I’m not going to subject you to this entire embarrassing conspiracy theory-pushing thread posted tonight by bloodless dipshit Marco Rubio—a man who would finish off the podium in a Marco Rubio lookalike contest—but I would like to draw as much attention as possible to the fact that Rubio tried to pa...
Florida's Feleipe Franks Apologizes For Repeatedly Shushing Home Crowd
Florida quarterback Feleipe Franks still held some resentment towards Gators fans after they erupted in applause when backup Kyle Trask came into the game against Missouri last week for the redshirt sophomore. Franks made sure to let his hard feelings known to the home crowd on Saturday not just onc...
Former Marlin Justin Wayne Sentenced To 4 Years In Prison For Con Involving Drug Addicts' Urine
Justin Wayne was a bust. The fifth overall pick in the 2000 MLB draft, Wayne appeared in just 26 games over three seasons with the Florida Marlins, putting up an ERA over 6 (but earning a World Series ring along the way). Wayne’s post-baseball career was more successful, and more lucrative, at least...
Florida State Got Whomped
Florida State lost to Clemson, 59-10, on Saturday, and that 49-point deficit tied for the worst margin in FSU history. It goes without saying that it was an ass-kicking. But how bad was it? This bad....
I Am The Youngest Pro Shuffleboard Player In Florida
It’s 9:05 a.m. While my friends and pretty much everyone my own age are getting settled behind desks and spreadsheets and scheduling the day’s meetings, I’m surrounded by senior citizens, about to make the first shot of my pro season. It’s already 90 degrees and my bald head is pouring sweat into my...
Two Games For Chokeslamming Says Nothing About Mike Matheson's Intent, But A Lot About The NHL's
Panthers defenseman Mike Matheson has been handed a two-game suspension by the NHL for this slam on Vancouver’s Elias Pettersson, who is now out indefinitely with a concussion. It was an unnecessary hit, and yes, a dirty one, but there’s no way DoPS would have punished this if it hadn’t injured a yo...
Benches Clear As Florida And Vanderbilt Coaches Get Into Shouting Match
Florida stormed back from a 21-3 deficit against Vanderbilt on Saturday to escape the Commodores home field with a 37-27 win. But that was far from the most important highlight of the game. Late in the first half, Gators linebacker James Houston IV laid this monstrous hit on Vanderbilt’s Dare Odeyin...
Max Domi Sucker-Punched Aaron Ekblad
NHL opening night is less than two weeks away, and it’s safe to assume the Canadiens, mired in mediocrity and dysfunction, feel like they have a lot to prove. They’re also not going to be very good at hockey, which is often a recipe for a team eager to scrap. Yes, even in preseason. ...
Willie Taggart Pleads For Patience After Florida State Gets Boatraced By Syracuse
The start of the Willie Taggart era in Tallahassee has been quite the shitshow. The Florida State Seminoles entered this season ranked 20th, yet three weeks into the season, they’re 1-2 and look like they’ll struggle to even make a bowl game. Jimbo Fisher’s final season with the Seminoles went poorl...
Report: Florida High School Football Coach Accused Of Head-Butting And Blowing Snot-Rockets On Players, Telling One To Kill Himself
This is a crazy story, first reported by the Palatka Daily News, in Florida: Randell Gene Owens, a former assistant football coach and physical education teacher at Palatka High School in Putnam County, is accused of, shit, just a whole wild catalogue of alarming abuses directed at his players....
South Florida Freshman Scores On Consecutive 98-Yard Kickoff Returns
Probably you are going to want to remember the name Terrence Horne. The 5-foot-7 receiver, a true freshman at South Florida, is both incredibly shifty and incredibly fast, and that makes him an absolute terror on kickoff returns. In the first quarter of today’s game against Georgia Tech, Horne retu...
Two FIU Football Players Shot In Drive-By Shooting
Two Florida International Panthers football players were shot this afternoon, according to Opa-locka (Florida) Police Chief James Dobson, via the Miami Herald. Neither player’s injuries are believed to be life-threatening....
Lane Kiffin Shows His Acting Chops During Surprise Scholarship Prank
The walk-on scholarship surprise is a well-trodden genre at this point, but what better way to inject some life back into it than to give Lane Kiffin license to really chew up some scenery?...
Florida State Is Probably Going To Rule, So I Hope You Enjoyed 2017
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...
Here Is A Legally Blind 96-Year-Old Great-Grandmother Who Would Kick Your Ass At Bowling
Kathryn Robinson will turn 97 years old next week. Also, according to this delightful Palm Beach Post report, she “lost all sight in one eye and most in the other,” making her legally blind. But that does not stop her from being a tremendous bowler:...
Dan Mullen's "No-Weapons" Policy Allows Florida Players To Carry Loaded AR-15s, Duh
Dan Mullen has what he describes as a “no-weapons” policy. No weapons! Simple enough. Certain of his players at Florida have certainly understood this “no-weapons” policy to mean no weapons, as would seem to be implied by it being a no-weapons policy:...