florida Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Looking for Why Gators Are Dominant? It Starts In Erin Andrews' Bed
Because, you see, the team is successful because Erin has realized that if she strips the bed of all pillows and comforters then good things happen. And occasionally, for superstitious reasons, she has the other girls over for sex-toy slumber parties and they exchange lingerie tips and...this is to...
Teddy Dupay Falling From Grace At Accelerating Speed
I guess the call-center job is not going so well. The felony charges are rape, aggravated kidnapping and sexual assault....
Tim Tebow Is Touching Babies in Asia Again
This time it's some place called Chiang Mai. You don't have any idea where that place is either. Wait, okay, it's in Thailand....
Every Inch Of Justin Miller Tells A Story
Florida Marlins' pitcher Justin Miller has never really proved himself as a top tier major league pitcher, but whatever lacks in strikeout numbers, he makes up for in body art. Lots and lots of body art. The fact that he is paid a major league salary is secondary, as tattoo freak magazine Inked did ...
The Best Way To Ensure Your Child's College Years Get Off To The Right Start
Most of us who had going-off-to-college parties usually had some dinner with family, maybe a house party with friends, and maybe, if we're lucky, our parents would finally relent and spring for Coors Light party ball to build up our alcohol tolerance enough before we begin five years of chronic bing...
Willie Randolph Still Employed, But Watch This Space For Further Developments
New Yorkers keen on saving the environment can dig up all of that old Fire Isiah signage, and with a few quick edits, can make fun, functional Fire Willie signs. It's the least you can do to help save the planet. Only moments after top brass announced that he will not be fired (at least not this min...
Marlins Break Brandon Webb's Evil Spell
Somewhere in a third-world country, a child is wearing a Brandon Webb 10-0 t-shirt. It looks rather spiffy with his Patriots 19-0 Super Bowl hat, and his New Orleans Hornets foam No. 1 finger. To beat the most unbeatable of pitchers on Wednesday, Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez called for the most de...
Game Called On Account Of Jellyfish
Enjoy it while you can, Marlins fans. Your team may have won two World Series titles and is currently in first place in the NL Central East, but things have a way of evening out (Dontrelle Willis calls it karma). According to a study cited in the Orlando Sentinel, the polar ice caps are melting at s...
The Briny Ballers Achieve A Left-Columner
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
Big Doings In The Land Of Sunshine And Sharks
Removing the Devil from their name proved to be a winning exorcism for the Tampa Bay Rays, who solved the unsolvable Mariano Rivera to ascend to first place in the AL East. Gabe Gross singled with no outs in the 11th to drive in the first run Rivera has allowed this season in a 2-1 victory over the...
Jamar Hornsby's One Classy Gator
Here's a disturbing story from the murky swamps of Gainesville. Jamar Hornsby, a 21-year-old safety for the Florida Gators, has turned himself in to authorities after illegal use of a credit card. Unlike most other slimy college athletes guilty of credit card fraud, Hornsby's single-handedly guarant...
Tim Tebow Has A Steady Hand, We Hope
Florida quarterback Tim Tebow is an amazing, versatile quarterback, able to chuck a pass 50 yards, turn the corner and a linebacker and plow over undersized defensive lineman. He's a Renaissance Man, a do-gooder, a man of America. His skills run deep. How deep? Trust us, you don't want to know....
The Manatees Are Ready For Their Close-Up (If You Can Fit Them in Frame)
The Florida Marlin's attempt to draw, well, anyone to their ballpark with the attraction of an all-male space eater cheerleader squad made the rounds when it was first announced. Well, the montage sequence of preparation is over. They've run the treadmill with a T-bone steak dangled on a string in f...
Your NL East "Preview"
As mentioned in New York Magazine this week, the Mets have a promotional flyer that says "It's Time For A Little Revenge." As NY Mag pointed out ... hey, you're the ones who choked....
Florida, Ohio State In The Final Four. Again.
Yep, a double take on that headline over here too. Following a Gator victory over Arizona State, and a Buckeye win over Dayton, these two proud programs are back in the Championship picture, albeit of the NIT. Come April 1, if Ohio State can beat Ole Miss and Florida does the same to UMass, we may s...
Florida Gators
1. This Year's Team, Nothing Like Last Year's Team. 32.3 minutes, 11.6 points, 5.1 rebounds and 2.4 assists. Those were the combined averages of the three Gators left over from last year's championship team. In all, the Gators lost 87 percent of last year's scoring, including their entire starting f...
Baseball Season Preview: Florida Marlins
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all....
Marlins Won't Care About Winning For Three More Years
It was nice of Florida Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria to arrive to spring training this morning. (He figured how how to TiVo that America's Next Top Model this morning.) And he sure has some big, I mean BIG, plans for this Marlins team in the next few years....
FAMU + Athletics = Crazy
So this probably needs to be addressed: Florida A&M freshman quarterback Michael Johnson was arrested today after he admitted that he lied about being attacked at gunpoint in his dorm room. And no one is sure why he did it....
The Florida Marlins Are Looking For Fat Dudes
We know the Florida Marlins have had considerably difficulties over the last, oh, forever, bringing in scores of fans to Dolphin Stadium, or Pro Player, or La Birdcage, whatever they're calling it these days. Finally, they've stumbled across the only marketing gimmick they hadn't tried: Fat guys!...