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Isn't The Super Bowl Supposed To Be Fun?
The Patriots are, in all likelihood, going to win again, and it’s going to be awful. The question now is: What is the worst possible way they could win? A 52-6 blowout? A three-TD lead for L.A. followed by yet another miraculous comeback by everyone’s least-favorite fancy dog? Aaron Donald breaking ...

You And I Are Eating Too Much Chicken<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about Gritty, weddings, pissing in the woods, and more....

Cynthia Nixon's Bagel Order Is Fine
Were you thinking pizza lumbered down the mountainside, fully formed? That the ancients plucked gyros from the surf and ate them whole? I bring news. That’s not how it happened....

Behold, Tomato Time Is Suddenly Upon You
A very long time ago (2015), our old buddy Tom Scocca posited, convincingly, that there are eight distinct seasons. This part of the year, from August through mid-September, he calls “Yellow Summer,” and ranks as the fifth-best season, which seems fine. After all, it’s muggy and buzzy and gross outs...

The Cotton Candy Hot Dog Will Kill Us All
If you haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch yet today, it may be exceedingly difficult to do so now. Over the weekend, the Erie Seawolves, the Double-A affiliate of the Detroit Tigers, unveiled a special product for their Sugar Rush Night. It is the kind of special anti-treat that you will never be able...

An Extremely Mild And Pointless Defense Of Raisins<em></em>
Your letters:...

Let’s Revisit Anthony Bourdain’s Hilariously Disastrous Trip To Romania<em></em>
There is an inexhaustible stock of incredible moments of connection, understanding, and joy in the archives of Anthony Bourdain’s show—A Cook’s Tour, No Reservations, The Layover, and Parts Unknown are really just four iterations of the same show—that the world inevitably feels like a brighter, more...

Anthony Bourdain Was Who I Wish I Was
As I’d imagine many or, who knows, maybe even most of those who admired him did, I once had the strange experience of realizing that Anthony Bourdain seemed to know a place I lived better than I did. In 2009, his No Reservations program went to Chicago, and if he didn’t get the entire city, which of...

Don Cherry's Daily Sandwich Shouldn't Exist
Don Cherry’s entire shtick is being an ostentatious hockey blowhard, and while his daily lunch is a little “out there,” its bizarreness isn’t whimsical in the slightest, although biohazards can be colorful, too. This Steve Simmons Toronto Sun column reveals Cherry’s regular lunch, which appears to ...

$5.45 Plus Tax Is Way Too Much For A Hot Dog
Our Facebook page is a great place to yell at us, but also to send us really helpful sports tips. Like reader Matt, who private messaged us with this breaking news:...

Don't Cook Chicken In A Fucking Dishwasher
Earlier today, while waiting on my porch for some delivery guys to turn up, I checked in on what was happening in Deadspin’s work chat—my job requires me to surveil the staffs of the various Gizmodo Media Group sites to make sure they’re diligently working for the betterment of our corporate overlor...