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How To Make A Goddamn Omelet
You go to a greasy-spoon diner or an obnoxious chain pancake joint or a seedy meth-scented Waffle House, and you order an omelet. Well, OK, you don't order an omelet—you order a giant chocolate-chip pancake with a smiley face drawn in whipped cream, and then you drown it in pink, berry-flavored c...
How To Drink At Weddings Without Making An Ass Of Yourself
I'm going to a wedding in Delaware in a few weeks, because aren't we all. I was very excited about this adventure when I thought Delaware was in the South—I've never been to the South—but it turns out Delaware's just off to the right of Maryland. So now I'm merely regular excited, because even thoug...
What Do I Cook For Someone Who Hates Everything?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected] wi...
Taste Test: The Ruffles Ultimate Line, Which You Must Never Eat, Ever
Do not eat the Ruffles Ultimate chips and dips. Do not eat them. Don't ever eat them. Ever. They are awful, disgusting, hateful garbage; if they were a prank, no sane person in full possession of his or her faculties would ever fall for them. Don't eat them. Never eat them. Not ever. Never. ...
How Do I Trick My Date Into Thinking I Can Cook?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected] wit...
How To Deep-Fry Soft-Shell Crabs (Yes, Dammit, Deep-Fry Them)
Deep-frying is bullshit. It's messy and labor-intensive and user-unfriendly. It requires a ton of oil, most of which will be wasted, plus—most of the time anyway—dumb annoying messy crap like egg wash and flour and breadcrumbs. In its worst, most diabolical incarnations, it even requires friggin...
Feedbag: What Can I Cook Without Using A Stove Or Grill?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected] wi...
How Bold Is The New BBQ Whopper? A DadBoner Taste Test
'Sup. Karl "K-Money" Welzein here with an urgent message about bold flavors. The other day I was at BK and decided to give the Carolina BBQ Whopper a go-round. Man, I gotta say, it was off the chain. With a flamed-up beef patty, all natch thick-cut bacon, pepper jack, lettuce, ripe tomates, and wit...
The Foodspin Cookout Reader
Here's your handy-dandy collection of all the Foodspins you'll need in order to put together a cookout good enough to stave off total abandonment by all of your loved ones for at least another 32 hours or so. We'll update this occasionally with new cookout-appropriate stuff. In the meantime, get c...
36 Cheap American Beers, Ranked
I realize you're going to spend Independence Day happily drinking whatever cold beer you're served, because you're polite and you're an alcoholic. And I trust you'll have a fine old time no matter what you drink. But that doesn't mean America's shitbrews are all the same. The list below breaks down...
How To Make Kebabs, Because You Like To Stab Things And Play With Fire
You dusted off your crummy charcoal grill way back in April, and by now, through all the contrived family gatherings that are really just flimsy pretexts for playing with fire, you've already run through your basic repertoire of grilled foods: chicken thighs and chicken breasts and steak and lobste...
Feedbag: How Do I Make My Food Seem Professional?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected] wit...
Tell Us About The Worst Thing You Ever Ate On Purpose
I want to be able to tell you that the worst thing I ever ate was, like, a wriggling cupful of live centipedes or a bucket of sand or, like, my own tongue: Something genuinely, universally unenjoyable and downright objectionable, which only the very most diseased psychotic person or most committed p...
Two Ways To Make Alfredo Sauce So Rich It'll Stop Your Heart
So you've decided to end your life, or at least the segment of your life during which you could walk from here to there without your chest making sounds like a whirring blender full of silverware. Because that is the only conceivable reason why you would choose to make Alfredo sauce, which, scientif...
Feedbag: What The Hell Do I Feed A Fussy Eater?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected] wit...
The McDonald's Durian Crunch McFlurry Can Only Be Awful
The crunch comes from real bits of Satan!...
How To Make Pizza And Infuriate Regional Snobs
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspin columnist today is longtime Deadspinner David Hume....
![Tell Us About Your Horrifying Kitchen Accidents [Warning: Gore]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18qpux9yst4edjpg.jpg)
Tell Us About Your Horrifying Kitchen Accidents [Warning: Gore]
Here, watch, I am going to blockquote myself (from yesterday's Feedbag):...
Feedbag: How Can I Make Caveman Food That Tastes Good?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected] wit...
How To Make A Peach Cobbler So Good You'll Cry
Maybe you don't think of yourself as someone who makes dessert. Maybe you think of dessert as a spoon and a tub of Ben & Jerry's, or a bowl of fruit, or maybe you just don't eat dessert at all because it makes more "sense" to just "eat dinner until you're not hungry anymore" and you "don't want dia...