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How To Make A Pimento Cheese Sandwich: A Recipe Unlike Any Other
The worst thing the Masters ever did—besides, y'know, all the other stuff—was to ruin the reputation of the pimento cheese sandwich, a wonderful Southern invention that is now known primarily as the official foodstuff of the exclusionary cracker-nostalgia amusement park known as Augusta National Gol...

Five Places Jason Whitlock Won't Go Because The Food Is Too Good
Earlier today, Fox Sports's Jason Whitlock told Twitter that he wasn't covering this year's Masters. His reasoning was unexpected....

I Have A New Grill, And I Feel OK About It
I had a grill—a cheap, off-brand, bizarrely squircle-shaped charcoal kettle job, which I picked up for a few bucks at Big Lots (which, for the unacquainted, is a name for what is left strewn on the landscape when a giant comes lumbering down the mountain, lifts up a Wal-Mart, holds it upside down, a...

Speaking Of Quiche...
Our buddies Sarah Sprague of KSK and Spilly of SB Nation teamed up for this... um... this, er, well... this quiche, I guess you could say? last week....

How To Make A Quiche: A Guide For 'Mericans
There's nothing wrong with quiche that couldn't be fixed by just calling it goddamn Omelet Pie. Slap an off-putting, unappetizing (keesh—it sounds like an onomatopoeic rendering of a rabid vampire bat crashing through the windshield of your car to attack your neck, oh God my neck, get it off getito...

How To Make Baked Ziti: A Guide For Heroes Willing To Eat All That Cheese
There come those times in each person's life when you really just want to eat All The Cheese. When you're drinking wine, or when you've had a dreary day and are stressed out and could use something indulgent to liven things up a little bit—or, really, any other time you happen not to be dead—man, e...

How To Grill Chicken Breasts: A Guide For Heretics
The boneless, skinless chicken breast is the totemic foodstuff of the health-obsessed, because of the nutritional potency of chicken, because of the relatively low fat content of the boneless, skinless breast relative to other nutrient-dense animal proteins, and because in 99 percent of its preparat...

Taste Test: Will Dorito-Sheathed Tacos Be The End Of Us All?
You saunter up to the counter at your local Taco Bell, you order your Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco (taking care not to actually say all of that, for fear of creating the accurate impression that you have paid rapt attention to the television advertisements and planned this trip in advance; instead ...

How To Cook A Steak Indoors: A Guide For The Winterbound
The first step is accepting that your kitchen is going to be quite literally as smoky as hell, which, owing to the energy-inefficient cooking methods used to incinerate the souls of the damned, can get a bit sooty....

How To Cook Bacon, Eggs, And Toast: A Guide For Infomercial Skeptics
So I had the occasion, brain-fried and worked-over and at best quasi-sentient by the end of some long recent day, to plop my faltering attention on some cable channel well outside the familiar rotation and there, eventually, to be captivated—horrified, really, the gape-jawed half-smiling horror of e...

How To Cook Sausage And Peppers: A Guide For The Stir Crazy
This is the worst time of year....

Will Eating Decades-Old Athlete Candy Bars Kill You? A Taste Test
"You're not going to eat it, are you?" the eBay seller asked, after we had completed our purchase. "People have been asking me if they can eat it, and that's probably not a good idea."...

How To Make A Pasta With Anchovies (And Other Stuff): A Guide For The Unafraid
It's pasta time! We'll do a simple pasta preparation, oh, once a month or so, because they're a nice respite from braising a pork shoulder for a month and whisking butter for the entirety of human history, and because pasta is a fun, cheap, quick way to whip up something unreasonably tasty and then ...

Donut Flavors, Ranked
I don't think I'm alone in having a love-hate relationship with donuts. In a perfect world, I would be able to eat all the donuts I like. In this one, I have to wrestle with the fact that donuts are among the worst things I could ever ingest, somewhere between baby back ribs and C-4. A box of donuts...

Every Foodspin Recipe You Could Make For Your Super Bowl Guests, Who Arrive In Four Hours
There's still time to avoid a full-scale revolt from your undernourished Super Bowl party guests. Follow these directions and good luck. We're all counting on you....

The Drew Magary Super Bowl Chili Recipe
Every year, I post this recipe in the Jamboroo and people seem to have good luck with it. Of course, a chili recipe is merely a suggestion. It's up to you to add your own unique signature to it. Cut-up hot dogs? Sure. Adding a hunk of seared pork butt to the cauldron, as I'm doing this year? Absolut...

How To Make Pulled Pork: A Guide For Unfussy Super Bowl Eaters
So the Super Bowl is here, and the internet has spent the past several weeks telling you that your game-watching experience will be a sad, dismal, disappointing failure unless it is accompanied by a veritable buffet-table of exotic culinary delights—Great catch, Boldin! Could somebody pass me anothe...

How To Cook Lobster Tails: A Guide For People Who Don't Have Butlers To Do All The Work
Somewhere along the way, lobster became the symbol of gustatory luxury. You picture your stereotypical Person Of Means sitting down to a feast—me, I always picture olde-tymey plutocrats in top hats and tails, monocled, even the women and babies, because my experience of society's upper class begins ...

How To Make Chicken Soup: A Guide For The Flu-Stricken, I.E., Every Goddamn One Of You
So you've got the flu; I've got the flu; your significant other and/or kids and/or parakeets have the flu; everybody's got the flu. One of the annoying things about the flu, after, y'know, the raging fever and the intractable body aches and the weakness and your pores turning into disgusting sweat-h...