foot Page 699 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

<em>Fantasy Football: The Musical</em> Needs Your Help
Although this story does not contain tiny Mexican wrestlers nor furries, it's still undeniably batshit. A NYC theater group is in search of stage actors to portray Bill Simmons, Matthew Berry, and J-Bug for an upcoming fantasy football musical. Kapow!...

Pray For The Arena Football League
Bon Jovi and his fellow owners are working to keep the AFL afloat, even phone chatting at 7 p.m. each night, but he said chances of survival are "50-50." Also, the CFL kicks off tonight. Happy Canada Day! [Fifth Down]...

Photos With Bruno Put School On Defensive
The rise of club music, the fall of apartheid, Bruno looking all fabulous with some high school football players very powerful in their physique and the head of L.A. schools disciplining a principal and athletic director — coincidence or not?...

13-Year-Old Commits To Lane Kiffin, Kind Of
The 13-year-old boy has enough to worry about. Committing to a college is not usually one of those preoccupations, unless you're really, really good — or the brother of an All-American who plays for Lane Kiffin. Or both!...

EA Sports Just Taunting Erin Andrews Fans Now
EA's "NCAA Football" game has a new single-player mode called ... wait for it ... "Road To Glory with Erin Andrews." (P.S. You will not be traveling down that road.) [TheRookies]...

Longhorn Linebacker Blitzes Woman's Bedroom With His Car
All-Big 12 linebacker Sergio Kindle drove his car into an apartment building last week, and lacking any other options, left the car behind, ran home and went to bed....

Yao Ming's Giant Foot Has Failed Him
Shit's broke. Like broke-broke. And fuck the Knicks. I'm sorry, this isn't the Brandon Jennings article is it? I must have gotten lost. [Yahoo!]...

Jesus Christ Football Star
How you feel about this account of football-playing home-schoolers will depend largely on your stomach for misspelled signage and sentences like, "Tebow ... demonstrated that a home-schooler could absorb a playbook as well as the Book of Deuteronomy." [NYT]...

Weird Details Emerge About Ed Thomas' Accused Shooter
This is Mark Becker, the 24-year-old charged yesterday with killing Iowa coaching icon Ed Thomas in a high-school weight room. On Saturday, he attacked a former classmate's home with a bat and led police on a high-speed chase. [WCFcourier.com]...

Iowa Prep Football Coach Gunned Down At High School
Ed Thomas, one of Iowa's all-time great high school football coaches, was shot and killed this morning in his school's weight room, reportedly by a former player. Thirty students were watching; none was hurt. The gunman was taken into custody....

USC Knows How To Pick Coaches
Trojan athletic director Mike Garrett says he'll put his hiring record up against anybody's record, provided that record doesn't include all the coaches who turned him down before he was stuck with Pete Carroll....

Florida Puts Bulletin Board Material On Actual Bulletin Board
What's the secret to winning back-to-back BCS Championships? Photocopying anything anyone ever says about you and putting it on a giant freakin' wall, obviously. Oh, and some magic markers would help....

Australian Rules Football Finds Its Visanthe Shiancoe
How are Australian and American football different? Down Under, the ball is larger, the field is round, and the players don't wear helmets. Any similarities? Well, on both continents, footballers have no problem showing their wang on live TV....

Imaginary League Holds Fantasy Draft
The UFL Draft is tonight. No one knows the rules and the results won't be announced, but that's okay because no one knows when the season starts or where the teams are even located. Catch the fever! [PFT; StockLemon; Yahoo]...

Florida Gators' Go-To Lawyer Has Some Issues Of His Own
The Orlando Sentinel, still tub-thumping about those miscreant Gators, has profiled attorney Huntley Johnson, who often handles the players' legal run-ins. What the paper doesn't mention: Johnson once suggested that his secretary "get down" on his "hog" and "honk it."...

Mike Florio Makes The Leap From Loathsome Gossip To Mainstream Building Block
Yesterday it was announced that feisty little Italian, Mike Florio, and his Pro Football Talk site were partnering with NBC Sports. The timeliness of the move after the Blogs With Balls weekend was telling....

A Lesson In How Not To Spin, Courtesy Of The Florida Gators
Twenty-four Florida Gators have been arrested since 2005, a number of such apparent talismanic significance that the Orlando Sentinel decided to publish a "database." The school, understandably peeved, responded with a master class in how not to respond....

Alabama Football Forced To Give Up Wins
Alabama's football program will be placed on probation today and be forced to vacate at least 10 (and as many as 21) wins from the 2005-07 season. That ... hurts?...

UCLA QB Announces Transfer Via Bizarre Press Release
Fact: A redshirt sophomore named Chris Forcier is leaving UCLA to play ball at Furman. Fact: His family decided to announce the move with one of the more batshit loony press releases you'll ever read....