football Page 277 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ass Team Of The Week: The Lions Finally Crapped Their Season Into The Toilet
The Detroit Lions lost 14-13 to the Buffalo Bills on Sunday, a result that guaranteed both a losing season and official elimination from the playoffs. It’s never a good thing for a team to have its season effectively ended by a one-point loss, and it is an even worse thing to have that loss come aga...
Report: The Tessitore-Witten-McFarland Trio Will Be Back For The 2019 NFL Season
The Joe Tessitore-Jason Witten-Booger McFarland Monday Night Football crew has been very, hmm, uneven in its first season. Tessitore is blandly Fine; Witten sometimes talks himself into dizzying circles; McFarland’s sideline scooter seems to produce an awful lot of confusion in his analysis. If you ...
Maniac Football Coach Teams With Maniac Basketball Player To Deliver Watered-Down Gordon Gekko Speech To Impressionable Young Browns
This is just an unbelievably cursed combination of proper nouns: Browns head coach Gregg Williams used help from retired coin-operated fortune-teller Phil Jackson to arrange for dead-eyed thinkfluencer Kobe Bryant to deliver a motivational talk to his young team ahead of their week 15 game this past...
Man, Vance Joseph Really Messed That One Up
It’s been nearly 48 hours since Broncos head coach Vance Joseph made what might have been this season’s worst coaching decision (non–Nathan Peterman, Starting Quarterback Division). But now there’s math to let us know just how brutal Joseph’s play-call actually was....
Jared Goff Is Really Struggling<em></em>
There is plenty to discuss about Jared Goff and the suddenly mortal Los Angeles Rams, but Goff’s panicked third-quarter interception was so inexplicable that it’d be a disservice to push it any further down this post, so:...
Jaguars Junction: Week 15
Jacksonville Jaguars v. Washington Racists “Week 15 action” news. What will be remembered from this day? Only these words: ...
The Seahawks Crapped The Bed
What exactly are the Seahawks? Are they closer to the team that stumbled out to records of 0-2, 2-3, and 4-5? Or to the team that then reeled off four wins in a row and looked entirely ready to come into Santa Clara and claim a playoff berth on their lowly rivals’ home field? Or the team that prompt...
Hmm, The Patriots Are Supposed To Be Scary In December
There was no Jesse James horror play this time around for the Steelers. Although Tom Brady did make all of Pittsburgh nervous with a methodical and eerily familiar fourth-quarter drive, it was hindered by a holding penalty and ended with a turnover on downs. The Steelers maintain their slim lead in...
Josh Johnson Was Alive, Healthy In Washington's Win Over The Jaguars<em></em>
The most useful takeaway from Washington’s 16-13 win over Jacksonville wasn’t that the Jaguars are in a very dark place right now, but that a quarterback like Josh Johnson, seven years removed from his last start, can still be successful in the NFL despite an extended layoff from football. Huh!...
Sebastian Janikowski Knows His Limitations
Sebastian Janikowski exists to blast long field goals and basically do nothing else. He’s also 40 years old. Sure, it would’ve been nice if he tried to tackle 49ers kick returner Richie James Jr. on this 97-yard touchdown, but that’s asking a lot....
Bills Defenders Force Timeout After Helmet And Jersey Won't Stop Smooching<em></em>
Bills rookie linebacker Tremaine Edmunds assisted in a stop at the line of scrimmage to force a fourth down and punt from the Lions in the first half today. His teammate Jerry Hughes also tried to help, but instead had his helmet stuck to the back of Edmunds’s jersey. Aw, they like each other....
Marcus Mariota Brings Alec Ogletree To His Knees With Powerful Block
A player on a successful team will sometimes be required to step up and go beyond their position’s normal responsibilities. For his part today, Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota tried his hand at becoming a crackback blocker....
Khalil Mack Uses His Butt To Earn Half A Sack
Bears pass rusher Khalil Mack is almost impossible to stop with his left-arm move, but he introduced a new devastating technique in today’s game against the Packers: the butt sack....
The Browns Are Respectable, And That's Already A Major Achievement
The Cleveland Browns have not had a winning season since 2007. The closest they’ve been to .500 was a 7-9 campaign in 2014, and that becomes even sadder with the reminder that those Browns, under then-head coach Mike Pettine, had squandered a 7-4 start to get there. (He was fired after his second se...
Bill Fralic Was A Real-Life Incredible Hulk
Most legends grow to become something beyond their actual size. That never seemed to be true of Bill Fralic, the former University of Pittsburgh and Atlanta Falcons offensive lineman, who died Thursday at the age of 56. He was as big as he was often described to be, and if you’re a certain age and y...
Reports: Dan Snyder Is Conspiring With Congressional Republicans And The White House To Screw D.C. Residents
Eventually Dan Snyder is going to get around to demanding public money for a new stadium for his crappy team, and brother, when he gets there, it’s going to be huge. But between now and then he has to figure out which plot of land in which municipality will become the site of his obscene moat-encirc...
The Chargers Clinched A Playoff Berth In Extremely Ballsy Fashion
The Chiefs went up two touchdowns with just over eight minutes left in the fourth quarter Thursday night, on a Damien Williams one-yard plunge to cap a 13-play drive. They’d put together three 10-play drives in the game to that point, and the drive they’d just wrapped covered 73 yards and almost ei...
I Hate That This Incredible Keenan Allen Catch Didn't Count
Keenan Allen has returned to form as Philip Rivers’s top targets on the Chargers following a slow start to the season. In shaking off the rust, he’s rattled off five consecutive games with a touchdown catch. Hunting for number six Thursday night, Rivers lofted a pass to the corner of the end zone on...
How The Patriots Screwed Up In The Miami Miracle
After a brief hiatus for the Deadspin Awards, the Emergency Football Show Weekly is back, so try to contain your excitement. This week, Dan and I savor everything about the Miami Miracle and marvel at Mike Tomlin’s clock mismanagement. Also, Dan eats a little shit about the Cowboys, defenses finally...
Report: Carson Wentz Has A Fractured Vertebra
Eagles QB Carson Wentz has been dealing with back issues all season, and after undergoing a battery of tests earlier this week, he apparently has been diagnosed with a fractured vertebra. ESPN’s Adam Schefter got the scoop, and the injury seems like it will probably keep him out at least this weeken...